Anonymous wrote:
It might not have been the best to spank, but let's call it like it is: we didn't have droves of teachers quitting back then because of the terrible student behavior.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal, but the kids I knew who were spanked generally seemed to grow up in more dysfunctional families and didn't turn out as well as the kids who weren't.
Presumably you are referring to kids who are 7-12 ish age range that were spanked, rather than the 1-4 year olds who were near-universally spanked?
Spanking a 1-4 year old should be a crime. They can't even control themselves yet.
Expecting and requiring no self-control from a 1-4 year old should be a crime. Children can learn and follow rules and instructions. Not perfectly - but believing that they cannot even control themselves is nonsense parenting.
They absolutely can and at age 1-4 it's completely unnecessary to spank to teach them.
Not just unnecessary -- counterproductive. You are squandering the years when their love and trust are easily earned through kindness, patience, and warmth. Eventually kids learn to think for themselves and question their parents' wisdom (this is normal and inevitable). If you hit them, there's no underlying trust and love there. If you are instead kind and patient, that can form the basis for a relationship you can continue to work with well into adolescence and young adulthood.
Spanking is abusive, but it's also not effective.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal, but the kids I knew who were spanked generally seemed to grow up in more dysfunctional families and didn't turn out as well as the kids who weren't.
Presumably you are referring to kids who are 7-12 ish age range that were spanked, rather than the 1-4 year olds who were near-universally spanked?
Spanking a 1-4 year old should be a crime. They can't even control themselves yet.
Expecting and requiring no self-control from a 1-4 year old should be a crime. Children can learn and follow rules and instructions. Not perfectly - but believing that they cannot even control themselves is nonsense parenting.
They absolutely can and at age 1-4 it's completely unnecessary to spank to teach them.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't spank my dog so I most definitely don't spank my kids. My dog still learns rules and so do my kids
People who think kids behave worse today really don't remember the sh*t kids did in their youth. It's a bizarre rose colored glasses mentality.
Kids just did different bad things than they do now. Every generation seems to believe in the superiority of theirs.
+1. Every person I hear complain about kids today being misbehaved because of like, whining about screentime, also then can tell you a story about some violent fight outside a bar back in the day, the day they crashed their parent's car joy riding, some bullying sh*t they either did to someone else or experienced, and on and on. But sure, kids today are so much worse because they heard someone whine once.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't spank my dog so I most definitely don't spank my kids. My dog still learns rules and so do my kids
People who think kids behave worse today really don't remember the sh*t kids did in their youth. It's a bizarre rose colored glasses mentality.
Kids just did different bad things than they do now. Every generation seems to believe in the superiority of theirs.
+1. Every person I hear complain about kids today being misbehaved because of like, whining about screentime, also then can tell you a story about some violent fight outside a bar back in the day, the day they crashed their parent's car joy riding, some bullying sh*t they either did to someone else or experienced, and on and on. But sure, kids today are so much worse because they heard someone whine once.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I used to think I was spanked by my parents and while I thought it was not great and wouldn't do it to my own kids, it was "the time" and not that damaging.
Eventually I figured out (on my own) that my parents were just abusive. They hit us in anger all the time. My dad "spanked" us with a belt. They screamed at us, made fun of us, gave us the silent treatment, etc. All these behaviors got rolled into this excuse of "this is how it was at the time" and "well, attitudes on child discipline have shifted." And for years I thought my upbringing was normal, if out of step with current parenting "trends."
There were even a few years in there where I realized my parents' hit/yelled/punished more than was typical for the time, but I honestly thought it was just a reflection of my siblings and I being bad kids and getting into more trouble and my parents HAD to do what they did because we weren't the kind of good children who could be raised without that kind of violence. My brothers still both think this on some level.
I believe there are parents who really only "spank" without anger, as a form of punishment, for a certain number of years when kids are what they deem the appropriate age. But I think there are WAY more parents like mine, who lean back on the idea that "spanking" is an acceptable form of discipline to cover a variety of abusive behaviors and convince their kids that it was normal and fine.
+1. My parent spanked but it definitely devolved into solid flanking abuse a few times when they were extra pissed and stressed. I still remember getting slapped across the mouth HARD as a teenager... Because why? I didn't want to practice piano that night. There was no beneficial end result to that, it was unnecessary, and I still resent my (now dead) parent for it 30 years later. My brother got it way worse than me sadly.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I don't spank my dog so I most definitely don't spank my kids. My dog still learns rules and so do my kids
People who think kids behave worse today really don't remember the sh*t kids did in their youth. It's a bizarre rose colored glasses mentality.
Kids just did different bad things than they do now. Every generation seems to believe in the superiority of theirs.
Anonymous wrote:I don't spank my dog so I most definitely don't spank my kids. My dog still learns rules and so do my kids
People who think kids behave worse today really don't remember the sh*t kids did in their youth. It's a bizarre rose colored glasses mentality.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal, but the kids I knew who were spanked generally seemed to grow up in more dysfunctional families and didn't turn out as well as the kids who weren't.
Presumably you are referring to kids who are 7-12 ish age range that were spanked, rather than the 1-4 year olds who were near-universally spanked?
Spanking a 1-4 year old should be a crime. They can't even control themselves yet.
Expecting and requiring no self-control from a 1-4 year old should be a crime. Children can learn and follow rules and instructions. Not perfectly - but believing that they cannot even control themselves is nonsense parenting.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal, but the kids I knew who were spanked generally seemed to grow up in more dysfunctional families and didn't turn out as well as the kids who weren't.
Presumably you are referring to kids who are 7-12 ish age range that were spanked, rather than the 1-4 year olds who were near-universally spanked?
Spanking a 1-4 year old should be a crime. They can't even control themselves yet.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal, but the kids I knew who were spanked generally seemed to grow up in more dysfunctional families and didn't turn out as well as the kids who weren't.
Presumably you are referring to kids who are 7-12 ish age range that were spanked, rather than the 1-4 year olds who were near-universally spanked?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anecdotal, but the kids I knew who were spanked generally seemed to grow up in more dysfunctional families and didn't turn out as well as the kids who weren't.
Presumably you are referring to kids who are 7-12 ish age range that were spanked, rather than the 1-4 year olds who were near-universally spanked?