Anonymous wrote:Lol there is a lot of Boomer denialism happening in this thread.

Truth is, if your kids are terrible to you or really dislike you, this is the one instance where it probably at least partially your fault. Either you were $hitty enough to them that it made them resent you, or you failed to set proper boundaries or guide them enough for them to become decent people. There's probably some luck and other factors involved too -- parenting isn't everything.

But think about it this way: say you raised a child and at 18 then went and joined a cult where the cult taught them to hate you. On the one hand, that cult sounds like crap and is definitely taking advantage of your kid. On the other hand, why would an 18 year old get sucked in by a cult that teaches you to hate your parents? At least some of that is on you. Doesn't let the cult off the hook, but the cult doesn't let you off the hook either.

There are quite a bit of situations that we could consider cults now. We tend to think of Charles Manson or Children of God, but it far more broad than that. I think a lot of religions are cults or cult- like- but they are normalized, MLMs, so much addiction, too. So, I don’t think this theory holds water. It's more about culture, personality, and possibly addiction tendency.
Not all personality can be attributed to a parent who raised the child. People aren't cakes that we prepare and bake. Sometimes cakes just don't rise.

Anonymous wrote:Lol there is a lot of Boomer denialism happening in this thread.

Truth is, if your kids are terrible to you or really dislike you, this is the one instance where it probably at least partially your fault. Either you were $hitty enough to them that it made them resent you, or you failed to set proper boundaries or guide them enough for them to become decent people. There's probably some luck and other factors involved too -- parenting isn't everything.

But think about it this way: say you raised a child and at 18 then went and joined a cult where the cult taught them to hate you. On the one hand, that cult sounds like crap and is definitely taking advantage of your kid. On the other hand, why would an 18 year old get sucked in by a cult that teaches you to hate your parents? At least some of that is on you. Doesn't let the cult off the hook, but the cult doesn't let you off the hook either.

I see your point about the cult you cited as an example.

How and why did e.g. Charles Manson's 'followers' get involved In their cult-like community? They were all young people, and presumably from different backgrounds.
Was it time-related, i.e. late 1960s, or related to their backgrounds and upbringing?
And it's not just Manson's group of people. There have been other 'cults', in other countries and continents.

Lol there is a lot of Boomer denialism happening in this thread.

Truth is, if your kids are terrible to you or really dislike you, this is the one instance where it probably at least partially your fault. Either you were $hitty enough to them that it made them resent you, or you failed to set proper boundaries or guide them enough for them to become decent people. There's probably some luck and other factors involved too -- parenting isn't everything.

But think about it this way: say you raised a child and at 18 then went and joined a cult where the cult taught them to hate you. On the one hand, that cult sounds like crap and is definitely taking advantage of your kid. On the other hand, why would an 18 year old get sucked in by a cult that teaches you to hate your parents? At least some of that is on you. Doesn't let the cult off the hook, but the cult doesn't let you off the hook either.

Anonymous wrote:If all three are like this then look in a mirror, it was your parenting.

Well, she just took it from them. And she shouldn't have.

Anonymous wrote:I was reading a thread somewhere recently that was full of parents of adults in their 20s and 30s saying how their kids' therapists told them to disconnect with mom and dad, just don't talk to them anymore.

They told their parents this was the reason -- my therapist asked me about my childhood and then told me to quit you cold turkey. So, I am, bye.

It started with one parent saying how their child told them this and how hurt and confused they are by it because they thought their children's upbringing had been hum drum if boring. The a flood of other parents commented how they were in the same situation.

I really don't know what to think about it, but it does make me wonder if there are a few therapists out there who are offering bad advice.

Not a few. A F*** ton.

I was reading a thread somewhere recently that was full of parents of adults in their 20s and 30s saying how their kids' therapists told them to disconnect with mom and dad, just don't talk to them anymore.

They told their parents this was the reason -- my therapist asked me about my childhood and then told me to quit you cold turkey. So, I am, bye.

It started with one parent saying how their child told them this and how hurt and confused they are by it because they thought their children's upbringing had been hum drum if boring. The a flood of other parents commented how they were in the same situation.

I really don't know what to think about it, but it does make me wonder if there are a few therapists out there who are offering bad advice.

If all three are like this then look in a mirror, it was your parenting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Not surprised to see boomers crow about how amazing and special they are lol!

No kidding. Reminds me so much of my mom who thinks she’s soooooo amazing and special and never has a kind word to say about anyone else.

We are not your Mom. Grow up.

Also, Boomer Moms are amazing. Sorry- but we are.

From the comments on this thread, it seems like many disagree with that statement.

Lol, just jealous. We did career, motherhood, friendships without Zoloft.

PP you are quoting… not jealous at all. Zoloft saved my life postpartum. I’m beyond thankful to have the option to have it. Actually got me back in the workforce you keep harping on. I WISH my mom was on some sort of anti anxiety/depression medication. I think a whole other world would open up to her, maybe even a good relationship with her daughter.

This isn’t the flex you think it is. Continues to show the narrow mindedness of your generation.

Then treat your post partum depression! No issues there, but adulting, generally, isn't pathology. At some point, you will have to start doing it without blaming your mother and relying on being bitter. Generations before you all did that. You can, too.

Debbie, go light some candles for the health and healing of James Taylor.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not surprised to see boomers crow about how amazing and special they are lol!

No kidding. Reminds me so much of my mom who thinks she’s soooooo amazing and special and never has a kind word to say about anyone else.

We are not your Mom. Grow up.

Also, Boomer Moms are amazing. Sorry- but we are.

From the comments on this thread, it seems like many disagree with that statement.

Lol, just jealous. We did career, motherhood, friendships without Zoloft.

PP you are quoting… not jealous at all. Zoloft saved my life postpartum. I’m beyond thankful to have the option to have it. Actually got me back in the workforce you keep harping on. I WISH my mom was on some sort of anti anxiety/depression medication. I think a whole other world would open up to her, maybe even a good relationship with her daughter.

This isn’t the flex you think it is. Continues to show the narrow mindedness of your generation.

Then treat your post partum depression! No issues there, but adulting, generally, isn't pathology. At some point, you will have to start doing it without blaming your mother and relying on being bitter. Generations before you all did that. You can, too.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how Linda thinks self-medicating with gin and gossiping with her Fox-transfixed friends about her failed marriage is better than taking Zoloft and talking to a therapist. Dried up and bitter, not a good look.

Not Linda. I am a Boomer.
Not watching Fox News.
Advocating daily for reproductive rights, gun control, and getting Republicans out of office.
My friends in bad marriages divorced.
My marriage is fine, thanks.
Nope, didn't need Zoloft to do anything up to now.
I teach, write, produce, and run a business.
Happy healthy millennial kids.

But- you see, you are still defining a generation inaccurately you don't understand at all. And- still blaming your problems on that generation. Glad you are in therapy, though.

NP. Why are you posting your stats? Nobody cares about you. Your time is over and all you are doing is wasting resources.

Probably because you assumed incorrectly, again in a previous post, what a Boomer mom is. And, were wrong.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how Linda thinks self-medicating with gin and gossiping with her Fox-transfixed friends about her failed marriage is better than taking Zoloft and talking to a therapist. Dried up and bitter, not a good look.

Not Linda. I am a Boomer.
Not watching Fox News.
Advocating daily for reproductive rights, gun control, and getting Republicans out of office.
My friends in bad marriages divorced.
My marriage is fine, thanks.
Nope, didn't need Zoloft to do anything up to now.
I teach, write, produce, and run a business.
Happy healthy millennial kids.

But- you see, you are still defining a generation inaccurately you don't understand at all. And- still blaming your problems on that generation. Glad you are in therapy, though.

NP. Why are you posting your stats? Nobody cares about you. Your time is over and all you are doing is wasting resources.

Come on now, she’s very important and we owe her everything. Duh.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I love how Linda thinks self-medicating with gin and gossiping with her Fox-transfixed friends about her failed marriage is better than taking Zoloft and talking to a therapist. Dried up and bitter, not a good look.

Not Linda. I am a Boomer.
Not watching Fox News.
Advocating daily for reproductive rights, gun control, and getting Republicans out of office.
My friends in bad marriages divorced.
My marriage is fine, thanks.
Nope, didn't need Zoloft to do anything up to now.
I teach, write, produce, and run a business.
Happy healthy millennial kids.

But- you see, you are still defining a generation inaccurately you don't understand at all. And- still blaming your problems on that generation. Glad you are in therapy, though.

NP. Why are you posting your stats? Nobody cares about you. Your time is over and all you are doing is wasting resources.

Anonymous wrote:I am a naturalized citizen and came here from Europe in the early 90s. All of the women in my country worked, mom, aunts, and parents' friends.
In the U.S., except one woman that I know(people who are the age of moms to DH) worked. Just one. This was in Colorado. Some dads might have been a few years older than Boomers, but all moms were boomers and SAHMs.
The one that worked ran a daycare center. Even one of my SIL's(DH's brother's wife) aunt in Vermont did not work.
And Boomer men mocked my DH's grandma for going back to school and getting a college degree and being a librarian.
Certainly, people I know in CO are not New York City women, but I would think they are a decent representative of MC, and UMC women.
So, where were these trailblazing Boomer women, is that I would like to know.

Fellow European here. I was born and raised in a western European country and lived there until I was 27.
I am 55 now.

My paternal grandmother was born in 1910. She started working when she was a teenager and she worked full-time in factory jobs all her life - also after having children - until she retired in her mid 50s. She was also a member of the Workers' Council.

Her daughter, my aunt, born in 1928, worked until she had her first child and then became a housewife for the rest of her life. My aunt's husband, 8 years older than her, was very 'old school' - 'he who must be obeyed'.

My maternal grandmother, born in 1926, was a SAHM to 5 children. Grandfather was also old school and authoritarian.

My own mother, born in 1947, started working after high school and worked full-time all her life. Dad owned and ran his own business and worked long hours. I was a latchkey kid.

My other aunts all worked full-time, except 1 who became a SAHM after the birth of her first child. Husband was a high earner.

All my cousins are educated, professional, career driven people. Some own their own practice or business. None of them stayed at home after having children.

What kind of parent were you?

Anonymous wrote:I am a naturalized citizen and came here from Europe in the early 90s. All of the women in my country worked, mom, aunts, and parents' friends.
In the U.S., except one woman that I know(people who are the age of moms to DH) worked. Just one. This was in Colorado. Some dads might have been a few years older than Boomers, but all moms were boomers and SAHMs.
The one that worked ran a daycare center. Even one of my SIL's(DH's brother's wife) aunt in Vermont did not work.
And Boomer men mocked my DH's grandma for going back to school and getting a college degree and being a librarian.
Certainly, people I know in CO are not New York City women, but I would think they are a decent representative of MC, and UMC women.
So, where were these trailblazing Boomer women, is that I would like to know.

According to PP they were at Stonewall.