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Anonymous wrote:It’s a personal question and you kept pressing. Stop being critical.

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

+1. If nothing else it's poor hygiene and looks dirty. I put it in the same category of - you must shower, you must wash your hair, you must keep yourself clean and presentable looking.

I wouldn't push right off the bat, but I would start a conversation and let her know that this is something that, as an adult, she needs to take care of.

No, it isn’t, and I sure hope you apply these exact same standards to boys.

DP but I would prefer my son shaved his armpits. I don’t insist because I have no idea what’s common among boys his age.

Why would you prefer that? I shave but shaving increases the risk of infection and has no actual health benefits. It's much better to just wash with soap.

Mostly shaving off the old smelly hair (no matter how well you wash it, esp if a teen boy, there’s certain residue)
Also don’t really like the look
Most if not all of my boyfriends used to shave their armpit hair too so I assumed it was the norm
Not sure what it is now. Maybe teenage boys prefer to look manly?

Did you only date boys on the swim team? This is amazing to me otherwise.

I find men's hairy armpits so incredibly sexy. It's the only reason to watch NBA games lol.

Anonymous wrote:No daughter of mine will have hairy armpits, sorry. Disgusting!

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Anonymous wrote:

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

Totally agree with this advice. Your instincts are right, and this is a red alert... No one loves your kid like you and her dad do. I would lovingly and calmly find out what her thinking is. Help her to see she is a beautiful human being -- inside and out -- and that fashion, how we groom, etc. communicates who we are within the current cultural context. We all don uniforms of sorts... What uniform is she trying to wear? Yes, fashions change, but what is the message she is signaling right now through this fashion choice? The uniform she chooses will also shape how she sees herself.

Ask what she thinks she's saying by not shaving. Then find out where this is coming from. Who or what has caused her to develop this philosophy? Someone from school? A friend? Someone on social media? Why does the source's opinion matter?

At best, maybe she's just afraid she'll cut herself with the razor. Who even likes to shave, right? At worst, someone could be lying to her about who she is as a young woman, and she has taken her first steps down a dangerous path. Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead.

This is the single sanest post on this thread.

"Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead." You mean the single most *insane* post on the thread?

No I actually think that point is exactly correct. I would be very concerned if my 15 YO DD appeared headed down this path.

What path?? Where does this lead? I want details.

Trans or lesbian

(Not that I am opposed to either, but those are the “paths” pp is scared of)

This is the point that drives this thread. You always had the "no body hair" posters but the rest are terrified that "allowing" body hair is the gateway to lesbianism.

How about they don’t want to subject their DDs to potential judgment?

Judgment from whom? Their mothers and other “old” biddies? Today’s young people are much less judgmental about body hair and other deviations from typical gender norms.

We had a teen sitter who didn’t shave her legs. No idea about bikini area but she wore shorts and a rash guard at the pool. Seemed to have plenty of friends and even *gasp* a boyfriend.

Anonymous wrote:58 year who hasn’t shaved my legs or pits in years. I wasn’t good at it and scraped myself one time too many. So I stopped. Funny thing is I have much less hair than ever before and none on my legs anymore.

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Anonymous wrote:What I would say:
Look, I can tell you that no matter what they say, and especially what other girls or women say, most boys and men prefer shaved. Now, I am not saying you should make sacrifices to be liked by boys better. All I am saying is that’s a well known fact, it’s just not ok to say it outright anymore because equality and all that. It is up to you how to deal with the knowledge I shared with you, I am not going to come back to this conversation unless you bring it up, and thank you for listening despite feeling uncomfortable!

This article is mostly about armpit hair but OPs daughter is hardly alone, younger women are shaving less than we did
https://nypost.com/2022/03/02/gen-z-gals-on-growing-out-body-hair-its-sexy-and-empowering/"35 percent of Americans have no preference if women shave or not, while 7 percent said they should not shave. For respondents between the ages of 18 and 35, female fur proved to be even less of an issue, with a majority confessing that they either find armpit hair attractive or don’t care if a woman has it."

I’d like to meet a man openly admitting he prefers no hair in our turbulent times

Don’t worry, there are plenty of Andrew Tates out there

Hm, fewer than you think, or at least those who are open about it. Even a DH won’t always tell his DW he prefers when she shaves.

Nope. There are way more Andrew Tate fans than you could imagine. And even a non-radical 16-year old boy who doesn’t have great social graces will have no problem loudly proclaiming that he thinks leg hair on girls is gross.

I will say though that I personally would never say to my daughter “hey fyi boys like it when you do like this” with the heavy implication that they should do it. Boys also like tight clothes, right?

Luckily plenty of girls don’t care what that type of boy wants

Disagree. They care, plenty.

Sure. Insecure girls or girls who like dude-bros care. Many many girls and women don't care. Personally I'd like to attract a person who accepts me for who I am and appreciates how I like to express myself.

But you’d like someone who is good looking, not socially awkward, earns a good salary?
-DP

Ha!
Unless she's hooking ip with someone in sales, there is no correlation.
Now a full head of hair..

I am a woman but if I were a good looking high earning male, why would I date someone who isn’t shaving if there are so many women who do? Sure I could be struck by the lightning of love but let’s be realistic? Sorry if I am not progressive enough

You presume all men prefer shaved women. Do you think women shaved body hair before the mid-20th century? Do you think that men were frustrated for millennia because the women they slept with weren't shaven?

It's a cultural preference. That is all. Not some preternatural thing. It's the same with male facial hair. American women today mostly prefer men without facial hair, but there are many societies of the present and past where men with facial hair are and were considered more attractive. And there are countries in Europe today where it is common for women not to shave their bodies and men are not going around complaining about it.

We are in the 21st century america and we have choice
Except for some guys with a sincere preference everyone prefers no hair
It’s ok to not care but it’s just a fact

"Everyone" -- are you God that you know this "fact"? Who is your "everyone" anyway, just males? And by no hair - you think all men are shaving their entire bodies? You think all women like hairless men?

It is a cultural thing. That is why you have your preference.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.

Totally agree with this advice. Your instincts are right, and this is a red alert... No one loves your kid like you and her dad do. I would lovingly and calmly find out what her thinking is. Help her to see she is a beautiful human being -- inside and out -- and that fashion, how we groom, etc. communicates who we are within the current cultural context. We all don uniforms of sorts... What uniform is she trying to wear? Yes, fashions change, but what is the message she is signaling right now through this fashion choice? The uniform she chooses will also shape how she sees herself.

Ask what she thinks she's saying by not shaving. Then find out where this is coming from. Who or what has caused her to develop this philosophy? Someone from school? A friend? Someone on social media? Why does the source's opinion matter?

At best, maybe she's just afraid she'll cut herself with the razor. Who even likes to shave, right? At worst, someone could be lying to her about who she is as a young woman, and she has taken her first steps down a dangerous path. Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead.

This is the single sanest post on this thread.

"Save your child from the disaster you sense could be ahead." You mean the single most *insane* post on the thread?

No I actually think that point is exactly correct. I would be very concerned if my 15 YO DD appeared headed down this path.

What path?? Where does this lead? I want details.

Trans or lesbian

(Not that I am opposed to either, but those are the “paths” pp is scared of)

This is the point that drives this thread. You always had the "no body hair" posters but the rest are terrified that "allowing" body hair is the gateway to lesbianism.

How about they don’t want to subject their DDs to potential judgment?

I think it's too late for that, since their DDs are being judged at home.

Why not arm your DD with the self-confidence to push back on anyone's judgment about her appearance?

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I would say:
Look, I can tell you that no matter what they say, and especially what other girls or women say, most boys and men prefer shaved. Now, I am not saying you should make sacrifices to be liked by boys better. All I am saying is that’s a well known fact, it’s just not ok to say it outright anymore because equality and all that. It is up to you how to deal with the knowledge I shared with you, I am not going to come back to this conversation unless you bring it up, and thank you for listening despite feeling uncomfortable!

This article is mostly about armpit hair but OPs daughter is hardly alone, younger women are shaving less than we did
https://nypost.com/2022/03/02/gen-z-gals-on-growing-out-body-hair-its-sexy-and-empowering/"35 percent of Americans have no preference if women shave or not, while 7 percent said they should not shave. For respondents between the ages of 18 and 35, female fur proved to be even less of an issue, with a majority confessing that they either find armpit hair attractive or don’t care if a woman has it."

I’d like to meet a man openly admitting he prefers no hair in our turbulent times

Don’t worry, there are plenty of Andrew Tates out there

Hm, fewer than you think, or at least those who are open about it. Even a DH won’t always tell his DW he prefers when she shaves.

Nope. There are way more Andrew Tate fans than you could imagine. And even a non-radical 16-year old boy who doesn’t have great social graces will have no problem loudly proclaiming that he thinks leg hair on girls is gross.

I will say though that I personally would never say to my daughter “hey fyi boys like it when you do like this” with the heavy implication that they should do it. Boys also like tight clothes, right?

Luckily plenty of girls don’t care what that type of boy wants

Disagree. They care, plenty.

Sure. Insecure girls or girls who like dude-bros care. Many many girls and women don't care. Personally I'd like to attract a person who accepts me for who I am and appreciates how I like to express myself.

But you’d like someone who is good looking, not socially awkward, earns a good salary?
-DP

Ha!
Unless she's hooking ip with someone in sales, there is no correlation.
Now a full head of hair..

I am a woman but if I were a good looking high earning male, why would I date someone who isn’t shaving if there are so many women who do? Sure I could be struck by the lightning of love but let’s be realistic? Sorry if I am not progressive enough

You presume all men prefer shaved women. Do you think women shaved body hair before the mid-20th century? Do you think that men were frustrated for millennia because the women they slept with weren't shaven?

It's a cultural preference. That is all. Not some preternatural thing. It's the same with male facial hair. American women today mostly prefer men without facial hair, but there are many societies of the present and past where men with facial hair are and were considered more attractive. And there are countries in Europe today where it is common for women not to shave their bodies and men are not going around complaining about it.

We are in the 21st century america and we have choice
Except for some guys with a sincere preference everyone prefers no hair
It’s ok to not care but it’s just a fact

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I would say:
Look, I can tell you that no matter what they say, and especially what other girls or women say, most boys and men prefer shaved. Now, I am not saying you should make sacrifices to be liked by boys better. All I am saying is that’s a well known fact, it’s just not ok to say it outright anymore because equality and all that. It is up to you how to deal with the knowledge I shared with you, I am not going to come back to this conversation unless you bring it up, and thank you for listening despite feeling uncomfortable!

This article is mostly about armpit hair but OPs daughter is hardly alone, younger women are shaving less than we did
https://nypost.com/2022/03/02/gen-z-gals-on-growing-out-body-hair-its-sexy-and-empowering/"35 percent of Americans have no preference if women shave or not, while 7 percent said they should not shave. For respondents between the ages of 18 and 35, female fur proved to be even less of an issue, with a majority confessing that they either find armpit hair attractive or don’t care if a woman has it."

I’d like to meet a man openly admitting he prefers no hair in our turbulent times

Don’t worry, there are plenty of Andrew Tates out there

Hm, fewer than you think, or at least those who are open about it. Even a DH won’t always tell his DW he prefers when she shaves.

Nope. There are way more Andrew Tate fans than you could imagine. And even a non-radical 16-year old boy who doesn’t have great social graces will have no problem loudly proclaiming that he thinks leg hair on girls is gross.

I will say though that I personally would never say to my daughter “hey fyi boys like it when you do like this” with the heavy implication that they should do it. Boys also like tight clothes, right?

Luckily plenty of girls don’t care what that type of boy wants

Disagree. They care, plenty.

Sure. Insecure girls or girls who like dude-bros care. Many many girls and women don't care. Personally I'd like to attract a person who accepts me for who I am and appreciates how I like to express myself.

But you’d like someone who is good looking, not socially awkward, earns a good salary?
-DP

Ha!
Unless she's hooking ip with someone in sales, there is no correlation.
Now a full head of hair..

I am a woman but if I were a good looking high earning male, why would I date someone who isn’t shaving if there are so many women who do? Sure I could be struck by the lightning of love but let’s be realistic? Sorry if I am not progressive enough

You presume all men prefer shaved women. Do you think women shaved body hair before the mid-20th century? Do you think that men were frustrated for millennia because the women they slept with weren't shaven?

It's a cultural preference. That is all. Not some preternatural thing. It's the same with male facial hair. American women today mostly prefer men without facial hair, but there are many societies of the present and past where men with facial hair are and were considered more attractive. And there are countries in Europe today where it is common for women not to shave their bodies and men are not going around complaining about it.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think Brazilians are in fashion anymore, at least not among the younger set. Trimming and taking care of the bikini line, sure, but it’s now considered unfeminist to cater to what guys expect from watching p*rn.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What I would say:
Look, I can tell you that no matter what they say, and especially what other girls or women say, most boys and men prefer shaved. Now, I am not saying you should make sacrifices to be liked by boys better. All I am saying is that’s a well known fact, it’s just not ok to say it outright anymore because equality and all that. It is up to you how to deal with the knowledge I shared with you, I am not going to come back to this conversation unless you bring it up, and thank you for listening despite feeling uncomfortable!

This article is mostly about armpit hair but OPs daughter is hardly alone, younger women are shaving less than we did
https://nypost.com/2022/03/02/gen-z-gals-on-growing-out-body-hair-its-sexy-and-empowering/"35 percent of Americans have no preference if women shave or not, while 7 percent said they should not shave. For respondents between the ages of 18 and 35, female fur proved to be even less of an issue, with a majority confessing that they either find armpit hair attractive or don’t care if a woman has it."

I’d like to meet a man openly admitting he prefers no hair in our turbulent times

Don’t worry, there are plenty of Andrew Tates out there

Hm, fewer than you think, or at least those who are open about it. Even a DH won’t always tell his DW he prefers when she shaves.

Nope. There are way more Andrew Tate fans than you could imagine. And even a non-radical 16-year old boy who doesn’t have great social graces will have no problem loudly proclaiming that he thinks leg hair on girls is gross.

I will say though that I personally would never say to my daughter “hey fyi boys like it when you do like this” with the heavy implication that they should do it. Boys also like tight clothes, right?

Luckily plenty of girls don’t care what that type of boy wants

Disagree. They care, plenty.

Sure. Insecure girls or girls who like dude-bros care. Many many girls and women don't care. Personally I'd like to attract a person who accepts me for who I am and appreciates how I like to express myself.

But you’d like someone who is good looking, not socially awkward, earns a good salary?
-DP

Ha!
Unless she's hooking ip with someone in sales, there is no correlation.
Now a full head of hair..

I am a woman but if I were a good looking high earning male, why would I date someone who isn’t shaving if there are so many women who do? Sure I could be struck by the lightning of love but let’s be realistic? Sorry if I am not progressive enough

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a personal question and you kept pressing. Stop being critical.

She is your daughter & you have a right & a duty to be concerned.

Have a polite & calm discussion with your daughter.