Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:long-term monogamy and sexual desire are incompatible. I am not sure this is unpopular, but people certainly don't want to acknowledge that monogamy as we know it has dire, dire consequences.

Agree. It should be okay to not want sex after 20 years of a marriage.

Desire waxes & wanes when you are 10, 20, 30 years into a marriage. 32 years together here & we are in a great patch right now, really enjoying it. Have had dry patches in the past. Don’t throw the baby out with the bath water, sometimes you go through a rough patch & then things can be even better on the other side.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ENM/poly people are into the whole thing to cover up insecurities, low self-esteem, trauma, etc

I’ve never met a person in a poly relationship where I didn’t wonder “how did this person get even one person to sleep with them, let alone two”

We look like everyone else, and we are everywhere. We are your friends, coworkers, relatives, neighbors. We just don’t talk about it with you because you are not a safe person to confide in.

Sure, in a “that person probably wears a tail to GenCon” kinda way.

You know, at a certain point, non-monogamous/poly relationships will become more mainstream, and making fun of them will be like calling people "gay" as an insult. It's easy to punch down now, but you're on the wrong side of history. And on a deep, perhaps unconscious level, you are threatened by such relationships.

DP. Your wished-for "certain point" isn't coming along along any time soon. Not in mainstream American society.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think blending families post divorce is a disservice to kids, pretty much unilaterally.

-divorced parent with kids.

+1000000000000

+2M

Yeah, this isn’t an unpopular opinion. Basically everyone agrees with you and is ready to pile on anyone remarrying with kids from a previous relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ENM/poly people are into the whole thing to cover up insecurities, low self-esteem, trauma, etc

I’ve never met a person in a poly relationship where I didn’t wonder “how did this person get even one person to sleep with them, let alone two”

To be honest that could be at least 80% of humans . If people had to be 'conventionally attractive' to have someone have sex with them,this planet would've emptied out a long time ago.

Seriously. Like monogamous people are all supermodels.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think blending families post divorce is a disservice to kids, pretty much unilaterally.

-divorced parent with kids.

+1000000000000

+2M

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ENM/poly people are into the whole thing to cover up insecurities, low self-esteem, trauma, etc

I’ve never met a person in a poly relationship where I didn’t wonder “how did this person get even one person to sleep with them, let alone two”

To be honest that could be at least 80% of humans . If people had to be 'conventionally attractive' to have someone have sex with them,this planet would've emptied out a long time ago.

Anonymous wrote:I think blending families post divorce is a disservice to kids, pretty much unilaterally.

-divorced parent with kids.

+1000000000000

I think blending families post divorce is a disservice to kids, pretty much unilaterally.

-divorced parent with kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Love is not enough. Never has been, never will be. Its more like the entry level requirement.

Love is not a noun, it is a verb.

Wrong. You can choose to respect someone. Love is either there or not. People confuse the two.

LOL, no. Love is taking care of someone when they are sick, it's putting their needs over your own sometimes, it's taking their feelings into consideration, it's simple acts like making them tea or bringing them a blanket, and it's also moving heaven and earth for them. I respect plenty of people and that isn't love. Real love isn't some magical feeling you get. That's chemistry and sexual attraction and limerence. Real love is the same as what you have for your children. Only with your romantic partner, there are other feelings there. It's not some elusive magical thing that either exists in the ether between two people or not. It's something you create.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Way too many wives put being a mom first over their marriage and then act surprised when DH cheats or leaves or their marriage suffers otherwise.

Okay man-baby.

Lol I'm a woman.

Anonymous wrote:I took my traditional marriage vows seriously. When “until death do us part” happened I was devastated. Some people are happy in long term relationships.

Me too.

Marriages should automatically expire after 20 years unless both parties agree to renew them. That provides an incentive for each partner to keep the other one happy. And 20 years is long enough to raise kids so that their childhoods won’t be affected much by the expiration of the marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Too many men and women make too many excuses for being overweight, obese, and out of shape. Fat acceptance is a bizarre Orwellian concept that characterizes the dystopian nature of many womens attitudes towards their obligation to remain fit sexy and attractive for their partners.

Being fat lazy and out of shape makes you a terrible marital partner.

That society thinks 50 year old woman need to look like they did in their 20s. Women used to be able to age and grandmothers weren’t sexy. Now women are made to feel like failures if they don’t weigh the same at 50 as they did at 25. Life was so much better when it was socially acceptable to age and be matronly.

+1 We were watching The Godfather recently and it was striking how all of the older mothers were portly, enjoying pasta, and wearing dresses with graying hair. It is so sad that we now require women look hot (!) and sexually available into their 60s and beyond. Americans are oversexed.

Totally. Also, who is horny when they have grown kids and are menopausal? Having sex all the time is for young and fertile woman. I enjoy it still in my mid 40s, but I don't care about it like I did from about age 16-30. That is just biology... So tired of hearing about how we need to look hot and feel aroused all the time. Um--my body cannot make a baby so it doesn't tell me to have sex a lot. (I actually am pretty hot but these societal pressures are ridiculous and watching women get all these procedures that make them look like old women trying to look young is just plain sad).

Lady I’m 52 and still fertile (or at least still menstruating) and think about sex constantly.

Same and the thought of not having that desire and release makes me so sad

I’m older than that, not fertile, and still love having sex with the man I’ve been with for more than 40 years. The longer we are married, the more we love and trust each other and the better our sex life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ENM/poly people are into the whole thing to cover up insecurities, low self-esteem, trauma, etc

I’ve never met a person in a poly relationship where I didn’t wonder “how did this person get even one person to sleep with them, let alone two”

Facts!

The only poly a couple I really know well (I know of a couple others in our neighborhood but can barely Id them), is a beautiful, warm, successful couple with the kind of perfectly cute family that everyone loves. They only tell their very best/close friends though and live their open marriage in a very private way.

Chicks dig a**holes. You can call it "confidence" all you want, but women routinely pass over guys who are quietly confident for guys who are showy about treating other people badly.