Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 14:16     Subject: Re:What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
I dated men because I liked them not because they were marriage material. Confused lust and love.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 14:14     Subject: What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Spend time deciding what your own core values are, and learn to actually live the values you claim to have or aspire to. If you want a partner with integrity, be that person yourself. Surround yourself with others who share your values and discard those who dont.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 13:45     Subject: What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Don't move in with a man unless you are engaged or know that engagement is in the near future. It's much harder to leave once you're living together.


This plus don’t stay in monogamous relationships for too long.

I spent too much time in my twenties monogamously dating guys who were not right for me. I think I wanted to be married so badly that I would date guys who wanted to marry me and hope that I would decide I wanted to marry them. I didn’t want to marry them and I should have listened to my gut earlier.



A big Amen to the bolded.

Run through those relationships fast! As soon as you realize it is not working, get out. Listen to your intuition.

You know what is good for you.

The best thing that happened to me was being very stubborn. I was told several times that I was too picky and will not find anyone.

I was dating and dumping men like crazy. Then my DH came along and I knew within six months. The guy is far from perfect, but anyone who listened to me back then knows he is what I was looking for. I have family and friends tell me: wow, we get it now. We see what you were talking about"
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 13:37     Subject: Re:What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.


It’s moreso that men suck.


Lol yes! Everyone around you is happy and married but you are single and have wasted your 20’s because men suck. What an incel world view.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 13:23     Subject: What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:Don't move in with a man unless you are engaged or know that engagement is in the near future. It's much harder to leave once you're living together.


This plus don’t stay in monogamous relationships for too long.

I spent too much time in my twenties monogamously dating guys who were not right for me. I think I wanted to be married so badly that I would date guys who wanted to marry me and hope that I would decide I wanted to marry them. I didn’t want to marry them and I should have listened to my gut earlier.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 13:12     Subject: What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get off birth control and cease binge drinking after age 21. Grow up.


The only person happier than me that I didn't get knocked up by my college boyfriend is my college boyfriend, but I'd imagine our respective spouses and children are also high on that list.


I didn’t know not taking birth control pills led to getting “knocked up”. Condoms and abstinence also exist.


Grow up and get off birth control in favor of condoms is an absolutely bizarre take.
Condoms have much higher failure rates. Being on birth control is the responsible thing to do if you're trying to prevent pregnancy.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 11:57     Subject: Re:What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.


It’s moreso that men suck.


NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.


Because they have the $$. Also to have kids which is so related to $$$
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 11:38     Subject: Re:What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.


It’s moreso that men suck.


NP here and I hear this sentiment from other women a good deal. I truly don't understand it -- if men are so horrible and constantly derided, why be with them at all? Why not find a woman to spend your life with or be celibate? There are awful dudes out there, and awful women, but it doesn't mean you have to be in a relationship with any of them.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 07:42     Subject: Re:What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Most women dated in HS and college. Do they really need to keep dating different men for 3-4-5-6-7 more years after college? If they’ve been focused on finding good partners at every stage of dating, how likely is it that none of these guys was Mr. Right-enough? Are there really that many women who are setting impossible standards? Assuming that they envision at some point settling down and raising a family, why does this project take so damn long for so many of them? I think there’s something in our culture/nurturing of girls that throws a wrench in the works, but not sure what that is. Perhaps it’s how emphatic and powerful the highly contradictory messages are (such as in this thread) — they just cause a kind of purgatory of undecidedness.


Many women have a list of 932 things that a man must have. For men, being nice and not fat is enough.


And?
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 06:11     Subject: What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get off birth control and cease binge drinking after age 21. Grow up.


The only person happier than me that I didn't get knocked up by my college boyfriend is my college boyfriend, but I'd imagine our respective spouses and children are also high on that list.


I didn’t know not taking birth control pills led to getting “knocked up”. Condoms and abstinence also exist.


No need for abstinence.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 05:09     Subject: Re:What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
-full retirement contribution
-get on property ladder
-100% stocks index funds no bonds
-start a 529 now for later
-learn how to make more money
-learn how to have good relationships

That’s basically everything you need to know.
Anonymous
Post 02/09/2023 05:06     Subject: Re:What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:not getting the needed abortion.



+1110000 at any age
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2023 23:40     Subject: What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Get off birth control and cease binge drinking after age 21. Grow up.


The only person happier than me that I didn't get knocked up by my college boyfriend is my college boyfriend, but I'd imagine our respective spouses and children are also high on that list.


I didn’t know not taking birth control pills led to getting “knocked up”. Condoms and abstinence also exist.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2023 23:33     Subject: Re:What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
I should have partied more. I declined an after drink after a party with a billionaire to study for the GREs. I don’t know what I was thinking.
Anonymous
Post 02/08/2023 22:48     Subject: What are the most common ways women waste their 20s?
Anonymous wrote:Things I wasted:
My dating potential - I should have dated more!
My f*ckablity potential - I should have f*d more men!
My career potential - I should have gone for a high paying career!




Me too!