There’s one annoying woman who keeps talking about what men should like and throwing out examples of careers of her friends who objectively aren’t the “big careers” that women care about. Which actually belies the point, men don’t care about careers the same way. I agree that high school teaching is a very important societal job, but women looking to marry up probably won’t date a high school teacher while men would.

Men do NOT care about a woman's job/career in the same way that a woman cares about a mans job/career/social status.
Women, in general, use a mans job/career/social status (either achieved or potential) as a qualifier for entering into a relationship.
They do this because the paradigm is that the man is primarily responsible for providing to her (and her children) the standard of living that she desires. A man which she believes is incapable of providing to her that standard of living is not an acceptable partner.
Men understand this and we know that women, in general, will not accept being the primary bread winner and we are selected based on our ability to provide and therefore we, in general, do NO select women based on their job/career/social status because that is not their role.
This is not "old order" thinking in as much as it is pragmatically what is happening in the marketplace between men and women.
This is NOT driven by primarily by men. Rather, women are selecting men based on their success and we understand this so we strive to achieve success at a level which will make us attractive to a woman.
Women mistakenly think that if they themselves become successful, in the same way as a man, then men will find them attractive, in the same way women find successful men attractive. In general, this is NOT the case.

I know of only 1 man that selected his wife based on her career. He was objectively a 10. He was a gymnast and very well built, but not career oriented. He chose to marry a very overweight woman that was an optometrist. He has never held a job and became overweight himself. It was literally a tradeoff. Her money for his looks (which went away real fast).

Anonymous wrote:This thread would be more interesting if men were answering

exactly!

Anonymous wrote:“ I’d consider teaching high school a serious career.”

Best that many midwits can do. 🤷‍♂️

I'm not a HS teacher, and wouldn't and couldn't do it. But teaching high schoolers is challenging and important work.

“ I’d consider teaching high school a serious career.”

Best that many midwits can do. 🤷‍♂️

So many irrelevant boomer men on here talking about coeds and secretaries.

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Anonymous wrote:You gotta love ugly women and their never-ending intellectual acrobatics that always have one goal: A desperate search for confirmation bias.

Sorry you couldn't land hot and smart in the same package. The alpha man can.

Or he did land smart. You know, not like women who hijack a thread about what men want to brag about their resumes, or how the 1% live, or JFK, or some other dingbattery.

I'm sorry but I just can't believe that any man who comments on the relationship forum of this website is an "alpha" in the sense that PP is using it. I don't judge anybody for being on this website but if a guy is spending his precious time making comments like that on an anonymous forum, he just can't be the charismatic, ambitious, high-earning, attractive, active type that people call "alphas."

Agree!

I never claimed to be alpha, charismatic, high-earning, or attractive. Or tall, or anything else. So what’s your point?

But when OP’s question is what do men want, I do think answering about what status-seeking women want exhibits a certain stupidity that my non-Ivy-League wife without multiple degrees never exhibited.

Sounds like she at least knows that you like women who keep their mouths shut and know their place. She probably didn’t learn that at school.

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Anonymous wrote:You gotta love ugly women and their never-ending intellectual acrobatics that always have one goal: A desperate search for confirmation bias.

Sorry you couldn't land hot and smart in the same package. The alpha man can.

Or he did land smart. You know, not like women who hijack a thread about what men want to brag about their resumes, or how the 1% live, or JFK, or some other dingbattery.

I'm sorry but I just can't believe that any man who comments on the relationship forum of this website is an "alpha" in the sense that PP is using it. I don't judge anybody for being on this website but if a guy is spending his precious time making comments like that on an anonymous forum, he just can't be the charismatic, ambitious, high-earning, attractive, active type that people call "alphas."

Agree!

I never claimed to be alpha, charismatic, high-earning, or attractive. Or tall, or anything else. So what’s your point?

But when OP’s question is what do men want, I do think answering about what status-seeking women want exhibits a certain stupidity that my non-Ivy-League wife without multiple degrees never exhibited.

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The novelist, the human rights center director, and the scientist surely did not make 200k off the bat starting out in their career. They probably won’t have an umc class lifestyle unless they married high earning men - finance, consulting, private equity, tech. And definitely the novelist did not make money off the bat. So the topic of this discussion is do men care about womens job. Obviously to the men who married your friends, no.

DP here. This is surely one of the sillier posts on this thread. Most high-earning men didn't start off high-earning either.

Right. Because there is definitely no difference in starting salaries and earning trajectory between a finance or Silicon Valley worker vs a budding novelist or non profit worker.

1. That's not what PP said.
2. You don't think scientists make money can make a lot of money in the private sector?

-- SV tech exec with a science PhD

The PP said that high earning men did not start off high earning. Yes scientists may pivot to high earning careers vs working in a lab. But surely you must admit that early in the career you can sort for earning potential by dating people in certain careers. A scientist working in a government lab is different from a scientist working in Silicon Valley in a corporate department. So what exactly did i say wrong? Does a woman or a man think they’ll date rich by seeing a novelist, an archeologist or a non profit worker?

It’s not about rich. All these people had advanced degrees from Ivy+, were passionate and ambitious and had already been successful at their chosen paths. So you’re looking at someone who knows how to make their way in the world. Having confidence, talent, education and so on makes it likely that your path in life will take you to interesting places. Often those types of people end up at the top of their respective fields. There are good, well paying jobs at the top of virtually any field.

You want to believe what you want to believe. The drop off and pick up at my elite private school says differently.

Anonymous wrote:What other people may or may not think of us or we of them ,has almost zero value. Most of the inferiority complex dorsnt originates from what we think of ourselves but from how we perceive others see and think of us.

If you like being a couch potato, embrace it, if you like being a fitness freak, embrace it. Judging and not respecting people because y'all aren't on the same page is absolutely pathetic.

The problem comes from those who grew up in the area, or have come from less metropolitan areas, and they are trying to guess what makes who what - but they have no idea!

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Anonymous wrote:I’ve noticed the only men who are “into” a woman’s career are insecure themselves and intelligensia-type status seeking. For example, the one who has a middling career and lives in the least expensive house in a hoity neighborhood and needs to bring up 47 times that his wife is an NPR reporter.

This is oddly specific.

I know the type of men pp is talking about.

They also have androgynous voices aka “neoliberal voice”

Low T

Straight but you are really not quite sure.

NP here. Just look for the good hair - if the husband's hair is nicer than the wife's hair, then you know the wife is a beard. Even if not - you would be surprised at the role reversals in the bedroom. May also correspond to breadwinner. Or not.

Carry on.

What other people may or may not think of us or we of them ,has almost zero value. Most of the inferiority complex dorsnt originates from what we think of ourselves but from how we perceive others see and think of us.

If you like being a couch potato, embrace it, if you like being a fitness freak, embrace it. Judging and not respecting people because y'all aren't on the same page is absolutely pathetic.

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Anonymous wrote:I’m a teacher, which is a profession that is routinely scorned on this site, and my dh doesn’t seem to care. He out-earns me, but we connect on a deep level. We’re friends and we have so much fun together.

I honestly do not think my husband views my career as a high school teacher as something embarrassing or less-than, though. I love my job and spend a great deal of time at home planning lessons, reading, and grading. I have overheard my husband boasting about an award I received and how good I am at my job. I am intelligent and well-read, and able to discuss politics and culture, etc, and my husband sometimes asks me to look over writing he does for his own (much higher paying) job. I don’t think my husband’s colleagues view me as less-than, either. Or maybe their wives are posting about me online, but I don’t care.

Yes, I’m physically attractive, but our marriage wouldn’t have lasted for so long if that was all he cared about. No, I don’t think he would have preferred a woman with a high status job who didn’t care about her personal appearance. DH and I run 10ks and half marathons together, and he doesn’t have much respect for couch potatoes (neither do I).

So in my case, my dh doesn’t care that I have a lower status job and he does appreciate value my interest in taking care of my body.

PS- I went to Harvard. Some people with jobs you consider to be low-status are intelligent.

I’d consider teaching high school a serious career.

Many people don’t.

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Anonymous wrote:You gotta love ugly women and their never-ending intellectual acrobatics that always have one goal: A desperate search for confirmation bias.

Sorry you couldn't land hot and smart in the same package. The alpha man can.

Or he did land smart. You know, not like women who hijack a thread about what men want to brag about their resumes, or how the 1% live, or JFK, or some other dingbattery.

I'm sorry but I just can't believe that any man who comments on the relationship forum of this website is an "alpha" in the sense that PP is using it. I don't judge anybody for being on this website but if a guy is spending his precious time making comments like that on an anonymous forum, he just can't be the charismatic, ambitious, high-earning, attractive, active type that people call "alphas."

Agree!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:
The novelist, the human rights center director, and the scientist surely did not make 200k off the bat starting out in their career. They probably won’t have an umc class lifestyle unless they married high earning men - finance, consulting, private equity, tech. And definitely the novelist did not make money off the bat. So the topic of this discussion is do men care about womens job. Obviously to the men who married your friends, no.

DP here. This is surely one of the sillier posts on this thread. Most high-earning men didn't start off high-earning either.

Right. Because there is definitely no difference in starting salaries and earning trajectory between a finance or Silicon Valley worker vs a budding novelist or non profit worker.

1. That's not what PP said.
2. You don't think scientists make money can make a lot of money in the private sector?

-- SV tech exec with a science PhD

The PP said that high earning men did not start off high earning. Yes scientists may pivot to high earning careers vs working in a lab. But surely you must admit that early in the career you can sort for earning potential by dating people in certain careers. A scientist working in a government lab is different from a scientist working in Silicon Valley in a corporate department. So what exactly did i say wrong? Does a woman or a man think they’ll date rich by seeing a novelist, an archeologist or a non profit worker?

It’s not about rich. All these people had advanced degrees from Ivy+, were passionate and ambitious and had already been successful at their chosen paths. So you’re looking at someone who knows how to make their way in the world. Having confidence, talent, education and so on makes it likely that your path in life will take you to interesting places. Often those types of people end up at the top of their respective fields. There are good, well paying jobs at the top of virtually any field.