Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I did an induced unmedicated vaginal birth for #1 without a doula. I didn't need one because I am stronger than you.

For #2 I had a failed induction with a doula. She did not tell me once the water was broken I'd bought a birth one way or another within 18 hours. So no, she magically didn't help me. What would have helped me was my midwife not ducking out on the induction discussion because it made her uncomfortable (she didn't want to do it), i.e. informed consent BEFORE things start heading south, exactly as I described. I also was not informed a failed induction can lead to a hysterectomy due to uncontrolled bleeding. Not sure why you think a doula, who doesn't have formal medical education, should be doing the doctor's and midwive's job of informed consent for them.

Thanks for your a-hole dismissive comment, though!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I keep seeing this and don't understand what this means. I don't need someone else to paraphrase what the Dr is saying.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I keep seeing this and don't understand what this means. I don't need someone else to paraphrase what the Dr is saying.

Anonymous wrote:Curious why C-Sections are seen as such a bad thing. I delivered vaginally for my first and it was awful. My care team was great, I just hated everything about the entire process. Seemed like a whole lot of waiting around and being in pain. And I ended up needing an episiotomy and extraction anyway, which then resulted in a bunch of scar tissue that caused problems.

Now that I'm pregnant with my second, a C section sounds pretty darn good. No labor, just go in and get the whole thing done and over with in 15 minutes. I know there's recovery, but recovery from vaginal birth sucked, too. And I know it's surgery, so there are risks associated with that, but from talking with my OB it sounds like it's a very, very small increase of risk.

So why exactly are c-sections seen as so horrible?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want the scar

Scheduled C here. My doctor did my scar in my bikini line, it’s tiny, about 3 inches, and you cannot see it. You have to palpate the skin to locate it, it’s that unnoticeable. The photo shared earlier is not representative of most scars.

Even if you have a horribly ugly scar it can be revised.

+1 I had really bad keloids with DC#1. OB fix it with DC#2 also a c.

Agree with a PP, uncomplicated natural birth is always preferred. The problem is you don't know if you will have an uncomplicated natural birth or not.

I was 10 days over due, and even after they induced me, popped the water, I stopped contracting. Even the hospital's resident midwife and doula told me to get the emergency c.

Didn't want to go through that again with DC#2, so OB said I could schedule the c, which I did. So easy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t want the scar

Scheduled C here. My doctor did my scar in my bikini line, it’s tiny, about 3 inches, and you cannot see it. You have to palpate the skin to locate it, it’s that unnoticeable. The photo shared earlier is not representative of most scars.

Even if you have a horribly ugly scar it can be revised.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

I’m the PP with the pelvic floor injuries. I did have a doula. Advocacy is not in a doula’s scope of practice. And most doula’s do not have experience with complex medical issues and very difficult births. Mine, who boasted she’d had over a decade of experience as a doula, was utterly useless when things got hairy.

It’s binary, oversimplified thinking to think that, “if this woman just had a doula or did more of the “right” things, that would not have happened to her.” But I promise you, I did all the “right things.” It’s a fallacy to believe that Women’s bodies are flawlessly designed to give birth and that, if given the right environment and support, birth can be uncomplicated, peaceful, and non-injurious, resulting in a perfectly healthy mom and baby.

Mother Nature is cruel, and doesn’t much care if you or your baby lives or dies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

I’ve said it before, I will say it again. A doulas job is to support a laboring mother. Advocacy is outside of a doula’s (very limited) scope of practice. It is inappropriate for a person who has attended a few births and got a certificate for some limited training to enter the birth space and to try and insert herself between the birthing family and their medical team.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

It's pretty obvious you've never had a doula. You create a birth plan with your doula early on in the pregnancy and review different scenarios. And you speak to your doula throughout the birth process, they give their opinion about what's going on, and a doula can translate what a doctor is saying and slow things down so everyone can take some time to consider what's going on. Doulas can also do massage and reiki and make adjustments to help you feel more comfortable while giving birth. They can also remind you and help you go into different positions to either increase or decrease contractions.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

I’m the PP with the pelvic floor injuries. I did have a doula. Advocacy is not in a doula’s scope of practice. And most doula’s do not have experience with complex medical issues and very difficult births. Mine, who boasted she’d had over a decade of experience as a doula, was utterly useless when things got hairy.

It’s binary, oversimplified thinking to think that, “if this woman just had a doula or did more of the “right” things, that would not have happened to her.” But I promise you, I did all the “right things.” It’s a fallacy to believe that Women’s bodies are flawlessly designed to give birth and that, if given the right environment and support, birth can be uncomplicated, peaceful, and non-injurious, resulting in a perfectly healthy mom and baby.

Mother Nature is cruel, and doesn’t much care if you or your baby lives or dies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.

A doula can only advocate if she knows your opinion. Say you have been pushing for two hours, baby isn't close, OB says a C section for forceps delivery is looking more likely, what do you do at that point? When you are that far along in labor you are not in a normal state of mind. Are you going to research on your phone between contractions? A second opinion is impossible.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have had one very bad vaginal birth with forceps that shredded my pelvic floor, and one scheduled C section. If I could go back and do it again, I would have had two scheduled C sections. Dealing with major pelvic organ prolapse in my 30s has destroyed my self confidence, sex life, quality of life, and ability to be active. Oh and I have urinary incontinence now and can’t poop properly either. The rest of my life—until I die— will now suck because a bunch of stupid midwives and a moronic natural childbirth instructor made me terrified of C sections. Now I can’t chase my children or stand in line or walk without my vagina basically trying to turn itself inside out. My bladder is basically falling out the front wall of the vagina and the rectum is pushing into and falling out the back wall. It feels like someone basically blasted a hole into my crotch, all the time, and my pelvic organs are falling out through the hole. It’s horrifying and disgusting and makes me
Feel disfigured. Tampons just fall out now - even the biggest size - and water gushes inside me when I swim
Or bathe and then slowly drips out when I get out. I have to wear maxi pads because there’s no muscle left to
Hold in a cup or disk. And Don’t get me started about the problems with sex. Pelvic PT can’t fix this and the only solution modern medicine has is a massive pessary that is incredibly uncomfortable and hurts or major reconstructive surgery with a high failure rate and requiring at least 6 months to a year to be fully recovered. So yeah, I would take all the risks of a C section twice over if I didnt have to live this way.

A major criticism of obstetrics that I have is that these topics need to be discussed well in advance before the s**t starts swirling the toilet. Once you are in hard labor and baby is going into distress, informed consent cannot be given. You do not have time to research the topic or to get a second opinion. I got a very informative VBAC informed consent paper that laid out all the pros and cons and risk and mitigating factors. Every prospective vaginal birth patient should be presented with such a document and scenarios where pink flags start appearing. At what point do you pull the trigger on a C section? I am pro vaginal birth but I do agree there are scenarios where a C section would have been better. The decision to convert to a C needs to happen while it is still a pink flag situation. Once it is a red flag situation the decision is made for you (i.e. likely whatever is faster).

This is why I had a doula. My MIL once derisively said when she gave birth she didn’t need a doula, but no one knows if they will need an advocate and a husband who has witnessed either no or maybe one other births is not going to be able to advocate effectively. You wouldn’t go to court without a lawyer, why would you give birth without a doula? I don’t understand their underutilization when so many north outcomes and experiences in the US are so bad.