Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are awful. You should however wash your hands of the situation. It’s simply not your problem - let this woman die however she dies, don’t go back there or have anything to do with her care, and don’t feel guilty at all. You’ve done so much more than you should have and are a very good person.

Thank you. After a horrendous stomach flu, I got on a plane Sunday and came home. I told the social worker the day before to take me off the call list. She called yesterday despite, after calling my elderly mother, who is recovering from a heart attack and stroke, to try and get information about where my aunt should go after she dies. I said I had NO idea, that my aunt is convinced she will miraculously recover and always has, that she’s made NO plans for after her demise. I said to call the medical powers of attorney listed, not me, and I will work with my OWN family on any details, if needed, as I am close to them. I reiterated that when my aunt does pass, she has given power of attorney to the Executor of the will, who she has known four months, and to call her. She did manage a will, even though she thinks it will not be necessary.

I woke up all night with nightmares, thinking I was still back there in the middle of this hell.

Was thinking about you, OP. Hope you are recovering from this unbelievably stressful situation? Has your aunt passed away?

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I think OP felt very, very alone in an incredibly stressful situation.

OP was taking care of 3 elderly ill/infirm adults: her parents and her aunt, who was dying. She mentioned in her posts that she comes from a large family with more than 30 nieces and nephews.
OP also mentioned she has a sister. Where were they, the sister and the nieces and nephews?

Why did this huge burden land on OP's shoulders? What about the rest of the family?

My sister was right in there helping but also has to work full-time. She’s a superstar

Anonymous wrote:Where was the power of attorney folks during all this??

Medical POA was excellent. She assigned no regular POA

Frankly, I think OP felt very, very alone in an incredibly stressful situation.

OP was taking care of 3 elderly ill/infirm adults: her parents and her aunt, who was dying. She mentioned in her posts that she comes from a large family with more than 30 nieces and nephews.
OP also mentioned she has a sister. Where were they, the sister and the nieces and nephews?

Why did this huge burden land on OP's shoulders? What about the rest of the family?

Where was the power of attorney folks during all this??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are awful. You should however wash your hands of the situation. It’s simply not your problem - let this woman die however she dies, don’t go back there or have anything to do with her care, and don’t feel guilty at all. You’ve done so much more than you should have and are a very good person.

Most people on DCUM now seem to come from other message boards, where their sole purpose in life, is to insult and abuse. They think they melting people down. Let them have it. Their pathetic lives apparently need that to survive.

You mean the same reason you are here? To insult and put down others?

OP came asking for advice as she didn't like the social workers advice. She didn't like the advice here either. Some of us have actual experience with this, do you?

I think the OP was fine with the advice that didn't completely misrepresent what was actually happening. Typical of DCUMers is the creation of a fantasy scenario with people then responding to that, rather than reality.

OP did not fully state the situation of either her aunt or parents in the beginning and then only in dribs and drabs along the way. I can only imagine the situation is very frustrating (having been through this three times) yet the OP consistently displays a stunning lack of insight into the limitations of what social workers and medical personnel are able to to do when they are neither the relatives nor the POAs of the infirmed. OP was also not happy when she came here to complain about certain circumstances and people responded with concrete suggestions on what to, including possible work arounds to the road blocks. Of course that info will only be as accurate as to what was provided by OP. People simply are not mind readers.

Really appreciate people who post in this thread and other ones related to relationships where they describe their situation, get some feedback, then, rather express exasperation with people who "don't get it" (as if anyone truly can in this kind of communications mode), they indicate they have mainly come here to vent and thank people for that.

As others have said, OP may be helped by speaking with someone on why she found this very difficult situation to be a triggering one where she appears, based on her reports, to have lashed out at caregivers, hospice personnel, and even anonymous posters on a moms' blog. GL to OP with her parents - hope their move is smooth and uneventful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are awful. You should however wash your hands of the situation. It’s simply not your problem - let this woman die however she dies, don’t go back there or have anything to do with her care, and don’t feel guilty at all. You’ve done so much more than you should have and are a very good person.

Most people on DCUM now seem to come from other message boards, where their sole purpose in life, is to insult and abuse. They think they melting people down. Let them have it. Their pathetic lives apparently need that to survive.

You mean the same reason you are here? To insult and put down others?

OP came asking for advice as she didn't like the social workers advice. She didn't like the advice here either. Some of us have actual experience with this, do you?

I think the OP was fine with the advice that didn't completely misrepresent what was actually happening. Typical of DCUMers is the creation of a fantasy scenario with people then responding to that, rather than reality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are awful. You should however wash your hands of the situation. It’s simply not your problem - let this woman die however she dies, don’t go back there or have anything to do with her care, and don’t feel guilty at all. You’ve done so much more than you should have and are a very good person.

Most people on DCUM now seem to come from other message boards, where their sole purpose in life, is to insult and abuse. They think they melting people down. Let them have it. Their pathetic lives apparently need that to survive.

You mean the same reason you are here? To insult and put down others?

OP came asking for advice as she didn't like the social workers advice. She didn't like the advice here either. Some of us have actual experience with this, do you?

Anonymous wrote:OP, people on this thread are awful. You should however wash your hands of the situation. It’s simply not your problem - let this woman die however she dies, don’t go back there or have anything to do with her care, and don’t feel guilty at all. You’ve done so much more than you should have and are a very good person.

Most people on DCUM now seem to come from other message boards, where their sole purpose in life, is to insult and abuse. They think they melting people down. Let them have it. Their pathetic lives apparently need that to survive.