Anonymous wrote:I agree that being well-educated is probably shorthand for intelligence. I'll admit that I'm a snob when it comes to having dated smart men, and marrying one. Some people want attractive women or handsome men. I didn't care how men looked but if they had little between the ears, I was not interested.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If she’s looking for someone to have children with, not just hang out with, it matters.

So much of the parenting experience in high school is about college. If my husband didn’t understand that we needed to do tours, possibly reach out within our alumni network (or he himself doesn’t have an alumni network…), help with applications etc. that just means that more is the work is on me. I chose my husband looking for a partner, not just a date.

Also, this is a small sample size but I have found men to be INCREDIBLY defensive about education. Men who don’t go to the Ivies put them down, belittle people who go there to an extent I’ve never heard anyone from the Ivies degrade someone who hasn’t (though they do degrade the other Ivies). I don’t want my kids hearing how REAL education means ________ and thereby learning to diminish their mothers accomplishments.

Is this the 1950s? What do expect to accomplish by reaching out to your alumni network on behalf of your high school student? Either they are a legacy or they are not, either they are a legacy with a parent who donates or they are not. Your big sister from DG calling up admissions because she remembers you fondly and your kid would be a great fit isn't doing anything

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

Anonymous wrote:If she’s looking for someone to have children with, not just hang out with, it matters.

So much of the parenting experience in high school is about college. If my husband didn’t understand that we needed to do tours, possibly reach out within our alumni network (or he himself doesn’t have an alumni network…), help with applications etc. that just means that more is the work is on me. I chose my husband looking for a partner, not just a date.

Also, this is a small sample size but I have found men to be INCREDIBLY defensive about education. Men who don’t go to the Ivies put them down, belittle people who go there to an extent I’ve never heard anyone from the Ivies degrade someone who hasn’t (though they do degrade the other Ivies). I don’t want my kids hearing how REAL education means ________ and thereby learning to diminish their mothers accomplishments.

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

Anonymous wrote:If she’s looking for someone to have children with, not just hang out with, it matters.

So much of the parenting experience in high school is about college. If my husband didn’t understand that we needed to do tours, possibly reach out within our alumni network (or he himself doesn’t have an alumni network…), help with applications etc. that just means that more is the work is on me. I chose my husband looking for a partner, not just a date.

Also, this is a small sample size but I have found men to be INCREDIBLY defensive about education. Men who don’t go to the Ivies put them down, belittle people who go there to an extent I’ve never heard anyone from the Ivies degrade someone who hasn’t (though they do degrade the other Ivies). I don’t want my kids hearing how REAL education means ________ and thereby learning to diminish their mothers accomplishments.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

Education is a proxy for intelligence for many people it seems. Maybe they just want to spice up their gene pool?

Anonymous wrote:This is a spin-off of another thread where a late 30s woman was asking how to meet men, and of course mentions the “well-educated” criterion multiple times.

I just don’t get this. And I should preface this by saying I’m a guy with an Ivy degree. But would you ladies not consider someone who owns his own construction business or a few Subway franchises and earns $150,000 per year? (Or we could make it 15 Subway franchises and an income of $600,000 if that is your requirement.) This is not about income – that part I understand.

But why the obsession with “well-educated” men? Do you not understand that for many people, going to college/graduate school is a terrible life decision? I mean, there was a recent article about NYU film grads coming out of the Master’s program with $30,000/year jobs and $250,000 in debt. Surely women in their late 30s recognize that the dating market is not skewed in their favor. Why add yet *another* filter that further winnows down your available options?

Anonymous wrote:Kind of a tangent, but this thread has me wondering how common it is for people to sort of regress in their educational qualities. I know some people who seemed smart and curious in college who now seem dumb as stumps. They don't seem to spend a lot of time thinking anymore, aren't curious, don't seem to read much, aren't particularly witty, etc. It's like they got of school and just started plodding along from day to day in a narrowly focused career.