Anonymous
02/07/2026 16:59
Subject: Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
Anonymous wrote:If chapin has the “worst” college outcomes in the last 5 years, why does everyone want to go there?
It’s the worst of the top tier 3 but there are 7 NYC girls schools.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 16:46
Subject: Re:Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
this was good advice, thanks. did my best.
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I did my best, not sure they will take them all down. Anything I wrote about the turnover in deans and admin is completely factcheckable. Just use linked in and Brearley’s own website. When we admitted in, most people in those roles had been there for at least 10 years. Total rehaul and change of direction. Look at new admin, their old schools and see if the direction is what you want. Do not expect them to provide clear info about your kid or the school’s direction or even how your kid is doing on standardized tests. They won’t give it to you making it very hard to apply out.
Just STOP, period.
If you want the truth to be out you’re hurting your credibility by doing this.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 16:44
Subject: Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
Anonymous wrote:I pruned out anything that was repetitive or people calling me a liar and me responding in haste, back and forth about tiny curriculum points. I may not be right, but I am not a liar and have never really been called one before.
I personally do appreciate you pouring your heart out even though it may seem overabundant here. I take it as an important data point. But we need to send our girls somewhere, and in the absence of concrete alternatives and concrete points of comparison with other specific schools, it becomes less actionable -- who is to say there is no equally unhappy parent at e.g. Spence or other reputationally good schools? We understand the things you are upset about at B; if you could speak to how those things are better at S, C, T, HM, or R etc, that would be helpful.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 16:40
Subject: Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
Anonymous wrote:I pruned out anything that was repetitive or people calling me a liar and me responding in haste, back and forth about tiny curriculum points. I may not be right, but I am not a liar and have never really been called one before.
I am not on social media and didn’t spend almost anytime on the internet until a couple years ago when my daughter’s school got real weird all the sudden, and I had to spend my time becoming a curriculum and admin expert. The psych stuff is more worth attention than the curriculum. Finding out how much the pysvh department was involved in my kid’s day to day was upsetting and what I didn’t know then but know now (having now paid to talk to another child psych about the surveys and feelings work my daughter was doing without my permission). I have now found out it’s considered unethical and counterproductive for a therapist to operate with kids in this way. It’s not clear it’s legal, but I’m sure I signed all my rights away when I signed the contract.
. At the very least, the efficacy of an SEL curriculum is disputed (the therapist recommended Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier — check it out), but the biggest thing is that my daughter hates it, wants to spend more time doing academic work, and she has friends and has always been totally fine socially so it’s not a concern of mine. She’s never been in trouble for bullying and has always had friends. I asked to opt out and told no, part of why we decided to leave.
The thread from 22 to 18 pages I assume it’s more explicable now? Best of luck. Fact check me — info is good even if you don’t like editorial take.
She's still going. Pretty amazing.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 16:29
Subject: Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
I pruned out anything that was repetitive or people calling me a liar and me responding in haste, back and forth about tiny curriculum points. I may not be right, but I am not a liar and have never really been called one before.
I am not on social media and didn’t spend almost anytime on the internet until a couple years ago when my daughter’s school got real weird all the sudden, and I had to spend my time becoming a curriculum and admin expert. The psych stuff is more worth attention than the curriculum. Finding out how much the pysvh department was involved in my kid’s day to day was upsetting and what I didn’t know then but know now (having now paid to talk to another child psych about the surveys and feelings work my daughter was doing without my permission). I have now found out it’s considered unethical and counterproductive for a therapist to operate with kids in this way. It’s not clear it’s legal, but I’m sure I signed all my rights away when I signed the contract.
. At the very least, the efficacy of an SEL curriculum is disputed (the therapist recommended Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier — check it out), but the biggest thing is that my daughter hates it, wants to spend more time doing academic work, and she has friends and has always been totally fine socially so it’s not a concern of mine. She’s never been in trouble for bullying and has always had friends. I asked to opt out and told no, part of why we decided to leave.
The thread from 22 to 18 pages I assume it’s more explicable now? Best of luck. Fact check me — info is good even if you don’t like editorial take.
I am not on social media and didn’t spend almost anytime on the internet until a couple years ago when my daughter’s school got real weird all the sudden, and I had to spend my time becoming a curriculum and admin expert. The psych stuff is more worth attention than the curriculum. Finding out how much the pysvh department was involved in my kid’s day to day was upsetting and what I didn’t know then but know now (having now paid to talk to another child psych about the surveys and feelings work my daughter was doing without my permission). I have now found out it’s considered unethical and counterproductive for a therapist to operate with kids in this way. It’s not clear it’s legal, but I’m sure I signed all my rights away when I signed the contract.
. At the very least, the efficacy of an SEL curriculum is disputed (the therapist recommended Bad Therapy by Abigail Shrier — check it out), but the biggest thing is that my daughter hates it, wants to spend more time doing academic work, and she has friends and has always been totally fine socially so it’s not a concern of mine. She’s never been in trouble for bullying and has always had friends. I asked to opt out and told no, part of why we decided to leave.
The thread from 22 to 18 pages I assume it’s more explicable now? Best of luck. Fact check me — info is good even if you don’t like editorial take.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 14:11
Subject: Re:Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I did my best, not sure they will take them all down. Anything I wrote about the turnover in deans and admin is completely factcheckable. Just use linked in and Brearley’s own website. When we admitted in, most people in those roles had been there for at least 10 years. Total rehaul and change of direction. Look at new admin, their old schools and see if the direction is what you want. Do not expect them to provide clear info about your kid or the school’s direction or even how your kid is doing on standardized tests. They won’t give it to you making it very hard to apply out.
Just STOP, period.
If you want the truth to be out you’re hurting your credibility by doing this.
I think she’s making a good faith effort to self-correct. She’s also been receptive to your feedback about the repetitiveness and seems to have done some self-reflection (eg., comparing it to an ex you once loved but had a difficult breakup). You almost never see this in these anonymous forums as most are defensive and just double down. Give her a break. She’s a flawed human like all of us but at least she owns it.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 13:57
Subject: Re:Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
Anonymous wrote:I did my best, not sure they will take them all down. Anything I wrote about the turnover in deans and admin is completely factcheckable. Just use linked in and Brearley’s own website. When we admitted in, most people in those roles had been there for at least 10 years. Total rehaul and change of direction. Look at new admin, their old schools and see if the direction is what you want. Do not expect them to provide clear info about your kid or the school’s direction or even how your kid is doing on standardized tests. They won’t give it to you making it very hard to apply out.
Just STOP, period.
If you want the truth to be out you’re hurting your credibility by doing this.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 13:41
Subject: Re:Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
I did my best, not sure they will take them all down. Anything I wrote about the turnover in deans and admin is completely factcheckable. Just use linked in and Brearley’s own website. When we admitted in, most people in those roles had been there for at least 10 years. Total rehaul and change of direction. Look at new admin, their old schools and see if the direction is what you want. Do not expect them to provide clear info about your kid or the school’s direction or even how your kid is doing on standardized tests. They won’t give it to you making it very hard to apply out.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 13:16
Subject: Re:Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
A boyfriend who emptied your savings 
Anonymous
02/07/2026 13:14
Subject: Re:Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
In an act of good faith, I who made them am reporting the Bari Weiss and anything that is repetitive so the info is them clearer and easier to digest. I really do just want people to have the information. I don’t hate the school — it’s like a bad breakup with a person you once loved who you find out kept secrets from you and strung you along when you asked for clarity. I will see what i can do with admin.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 12:10
Subject: Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
The bigger takeaway from the Brearley discussion is that nothing is locked in at kindergarten; however psychologically satisfying it is to say that you’ve made it and your kid got into a TT and it’s smooth sailing from now on, you haven’t and it isn’t and anything can happen.
The school that seems so great now could fall apart in 13 years, or it could simply fail to be a good fit for your kid, or your kid might be happier on a different path than the one you imagine for them; you have no idea at age 5 where their life will go.
This also works in the other direction - missing out on your top K choices likewise means nothing long term.
The school that seems so great now could fall apart in 13 years, or it could simply fail to be a good fit for your kid, or your kid might be happier on a different path than the one you imagine for them; you have no idea at age 5 where their life will go.
This also works in the other direction - missing out on your top K choices likewise means nothing long term.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 11:47
Subject: Re:Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
Anonymous wrote:The B parent doesn’t have anything new to contribute, that doesn’t mean the posts are full of falsehoods or that far outside the consensus of parents (or, at least, large number of them).
It takes years for the reality of a school to percolate and reach those outside of the institution and form a new reputation. You may be shocked at what day and boarding schools were “hot” or considered TT back in the early 2000s and are now considered undesirable. I’m sure the naysayers then got shouted down too.
Let’s flip this:
The B parents’s posts are not necessarily full of falsehoods or that far outside of the consensus of parents, but it doesn’t mean that she has anything new to contribute after repeating herself 100 times.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 11:35
Subject: Re:Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
The B parent doesn’t have anything new to contribute, that doesn’t mean the posts are full of falsehoods or that far outside the consensus of parents (or, at least, large number of them).
It takes years for the reality of a school to percolate and reach those outside of the institution and form a new reputation. You may be shocked at what day and boarding schools were “hot” or considered TT back in the early 2000s and are now considered undesirable. I’m sure the naysayers then got shouted down too.
It takes years for the reality of a school to percolate and reach those outside of the institution and form a new reputation. You may be shocked at what day and boarding schools were “hot” or considered TT back in the early 2000s and are now considered undesirable. I’m sure the naysayers then got shouted down too.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 10:30
Subject: Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Spence’s head of school is relatively new, but the head of academics Eric Z has been there for many years. He led the math department before. I think the academics head at Brearley has a history background? I think Eric is really smart with the program design that aligned with the broader girls in STEM trend in the past decade, and that really helped their college outcomes.
Interesting…do you know how most of the Spence parents feel that way about him or is he more polarizing with some loving him and others really opposed to him?
I had heard he was involved in the firing of that French teacher and think he was named in the lawsuit?
During the admissions process this year, I came away with the impression that he was quite smug and seemed to enjoy the sound of his own voice.
Eric has to cozy up to the new head for sure. Yes he may be a little smug but that really doesn’t matter in my opinion. His program certainly works to get the girls into good schools, but that’s also different from being effective in teaching the fundamentals. I sat in a couple mock classes at Chapin and was happy with that I saw: very thoughtful teachers and in-depth engagement.
Some of the incoherent writings in this tread is giving me headaches so I’m closing my browser.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 10:28
Subject: Feedback from uptown all girls for K?
Thoughts on the academic dean at Chapin? What do you think accounts for the lower college successes in the last year? Attributable to the new head of school or something else? We’re seriously considering Chapin and want to make an informed decision.