Anonymous
Post 05/20/2026 14:37     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you lived outside of San Diego/Southern California before? It is culture and weather shock if you haven’t. I’ve been here 20 years and still hibernate in the winter/don’t go outside in July/August if I can help it. The first few years I had to go on SSRIs to help with the seasonal depression I didn’t know I had until I moved somewhere with dreary winters. I’m sure to people who grew up with seasons that sounds pathetic, but it was my reality!

My experience is public schools, so maybe not apples to apples. It is definitely striver culture compared to SoCal. If you aren’t playing travel sports by age 9 or 10, you aren’t making the high school team. If you aren’t accelerated multiple years in math, you’re behind. The high schools stopped doing valedictorians because suicide rates were too high.

But it’s cheap comparatively. We can afford a house here more easily than in California. I am encouraging our kids to go to college back on the west coast though, so we may eat any savings.


+1. Everything you said. I have lived in SoCal And I have lived on the East Coast. Despite everything wrong with California, the sunshine brings abundant happiness.


May gloom and June doom are real.


It's still 60+ degrees even in the most overcast or dreariest of June weeks, and it nearly always burns off mid day. No comparison to months on end of cold, rainy weather.
Anonymous
Post 05/20/2026 13:47     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Another native of San Diego who has raised the kids in NOVA. Nova all the way. I skimmed some of the post - you mentioned private schools. Our kids have done private for the last 6 years and nothing compares to the options we have here around DC. We have near perfect fits for each kid.
When the kids were little we spent countless hours on the Mall, at the Smithsonians, Building Museum, festivals, Cherry Blossoms. We would often drive and park nearly effortlessly or take the metro for an adventure. San Diego is great to visit. The kids used to ask to live there when they were little but once they got a little older they both said I'm so glad we live here.
Weather people swear by San Diego, but to be honest they have no idea what they are missing.
I have siblings in SD who raised their kids there and the ubiquity of the dispensaries made smoking a serious issue for a couple of the kids.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 15:37     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are from the east coast (New England) but lived in SD for almost a decade before kids. Kids were born in SD and we moved to NOVA when they were 3 and 5. As much as we loved living in SD when the kids were younger, I prefer raising my kids in NOVA as it more similar to my upbringing in NE. SD is too laid back The school in SD were not that great from what I recall people saying but we left before my kids started. Most native Californians don't seem to value education as much as east coasters do, but again my experience is over a decade old at this point. I would consider moving back once the kids re grown and flown and education isn't a concern.


Thanks! In SD did your kids attend public or private school? Where in the SD area were you- SD or suburbs?


Neither - we moved before they started school. We would have done private if we stayed.


We were in SD but not downtown.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 15:36     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We are from the east coast (New England) but lived in SD for almost a decade before kids. Kids were born in SD and we moved to NOVA when they were 3 and 5. As much as we loved living in SD when the kids were younger, I prefer raising my kids in NOVA as it more similar to my upbringing in NE. SD is too laid back The school in SD were not that great from what I recall people saying but we left before my kids started. Most native Californians don't seem to value education as much as east coasters do, but again my experience is over a decade old at this point. I would consider moving back once the kids re grown and flown and education isn't a concern.


Thanks! In SD did your kids attend public or private school? Where in the SD area were you- SD or suburbs?


Neither - we moved before they started school. We would have done private if we stayed.
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 12:02     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend from San Diego/Southern California. She has two daughters and said the DMV is far less obsessed with looks and it is a better environment to raise girls.


My experience has been the opposite. From kids to teens to adults, CA has the most superficial people. Even worse than NYC.


Did you learn to read in Mississippi?
Anonymous
Post 05/19/2026 11:21     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
As others have said, the majority of independent private schools are in NW DC and then close over the border in Maryland (Bethesda, Chevy Chase, Potomac).

Most in McLean go to public school. There is Potomac, but it’s not really an area where you move for private school.

The DMV has an intensity probably only rivaled by NYC. Even then, it’s different. DC is where all the most competitive student strivers from around the country find themselves. It’s both wonderful and stressful.

I’m in the Chicago area now, and it’s SO laid back by comparison. Sometimes I enjoy it annd other times I miss the heat. No one is questioning the quality of the school lunch or angling for admission to top universities abroad.

If you move to the DMV prepare to enroll your children in RSM and AoPS, join travel teams, ensure that they will be bilingual, travel extensively, and start organizing opportunities for published scientific research by high school. Welcome
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 23:09     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:I have a good friend from San Diego/Southern California. She has two daughters and said the DMV is far less obsessed with looks and it is a better environment to raise girls.


My experience has been the opposite. From kids to teens to adults, CA has the most superficial people. Even worse than NYC.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 20:03     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
I have a good friend from San Diego/Southern California. She has two daughters and said the DMV is far less obsessed with looks and it is a better environment to raise girls.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 19:17     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:We are from the east coast (New England) but lived in SD for almost a decade before kids. Kids were born in SD and we moved to NOVA when they were 3 and 5. As much as we loved living in SD when the kids were younger, I prefer raising my kids in NOVA as it more similar to my upbringing in NE. SD is too laid back The school in SD were not that great from what I recall people saying but we left before my kids started. Most native Californians don't seem to value education as much as east coasters do, but again my experience is over a decade old at this point. I would consider moving back once the kids re grown and flown and education isn't a concern.


Agree. Source-my nephews and nieces attend schools there.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 19:01     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:NOVA has lots of pros- but Langley and McLean areas aren’t
very “family neighborhoody” if that makes sense.

[OP] Thanks! Curious, what do you think makes Langley and McLean areas not so family friendly?


There are lots of kids in these areas, but what PP probably means is that kids' activities tend to be scheduled so there aren't bands of roving kids just looking to hang out and play with each other.

In terms of population, the Langley/McLean neighborhoods (and the Vienna neighborhoods as well, thought to a slightly lesser extent) tends to have lots of kids, few young adults in their 20s and early 30s, and lots of adults from their late 30s on, including a large older population.

There are more private schools in DC and Montgomery County, so unless you're looking at VA for commuting reasons or with an eye towards state universities, someone who knows they are going to send their kids to private schools might be better served looking there than in NoVa. If you are looking in NoVa, McLean is better than Vienna, both because it has a stronger private school (Potomac) but also because it's easier to get to DC and Maryland.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 18:52     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:We are from the east coast (New England) but lived in SD for almost a decade before kids. Kids were born in SD and we moved to NOVA when they were 3 and 5. As much as we loved living in SD when the kids were younger, I prefer raising my kids in NOVA as it more similar to my upbringing in NE. SD is too laid back The school in SD were not that great from what I recall people saying but we left before my kids started. Most native Californians don't seem to value education as much as east coasters do, but again my experience is over a decade old at this point. I would consider moving back once the kids re grown and flown and education isn't a concern.


Thanks! In SD did your kids attend public or private school? Where in the SD area were you- SD or suburbs?
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 17:45     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
We are from the east coast (New England) but lived in SD for almost a decade before kids. Kids were born in SD and we moved to NOVA when they were 3 and 5. As much as we loved living in SD when the kids were younger, I prefer raising my kids in NOVA as it more similar to my upbringing in NE. SD is too laid back The school in SD were not that great from what I recall people saying but we left before my kids started. Most native Californians don't seem to value education as much as east coasters do, but again my experience is over a decade old at this point. I would consider moving back once the kids re grown and flown and education isn't a concern.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 16:45     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Denver has more sunny days than San Diego so everyone with seasonal disorders should move there.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 16:16     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:I would stay in San Diego. People in California are less pretentious than in DC/NOVA .


Spend some time with parents at Torrey Pines in La Jolla and tell me that again.
Anonymous
Post 05/18/2026 16:14     Subject: San Diego vs NoVA (McLean, Vienna) for raising children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Have you lived outside of San Diego/Southern California before? It is culture and weather shock if you haven’t. I’ve been here 20 years and still hibernate in the winter/don’t go outside in July/August if I can help it. The first few years I had to go on SSRIs to help with the seasonal depression I didn’t know I had until I moved somewhere with dreary winters. I’m sure to people who grew up with seasons that sounds pathetic, but it was my reality!

My experience is public schools, so maybe not apples to apples. It is definitely striver culture compared to SoCal. If you aren’t playing travel sports by age 9 or 10, you aren’t making the high school team. If you aren’t accelerated multiple years in math, you’re behind. The high schools stopped doing valedictorians because suicide rates were too high.

But it’s cheap comparatively. We can afford a house here more easily than in California. I am encouraging our kids to go to college back on the west coast though, so we may eat any savings.


+1. Everything you said. I have lived in SoCal And I have lived on the East Coast. Despite everything wrong with California, the sunshine brings abundant happiness.


May gloom and June doom are real.