14 is the worst age to be doing this too. They are not mature yet but exposed to everything at that point.

Bad plan.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 18yo says she can handle it, and that we shouldn’t hire someone. Activities for my 14yo would be over by then, so they’d just be hanging out at home. The kids are generally responsible, and know what to do in case of a emergency, OP.

Literally everyone agreed (rare on DCUM) that you shouldn't do this. Yet here you are still making your case. 6 days is not a short trip, and it's also a long time to sit at home with no plans.

\

Agree; that 6 days of no plans might sound nice as she is in the thick of the end of year school and other stuff. But 6 days of being stuck at home is going to get old after a day or two. I also think it's setting up a weird sibling dynamic; youngest is either going to get ignored or be annoying to the older ones...or both.

I'd do it for a MUCH shorter time and have some of it being fun, memorable the siblings can do together. We have a 14/almost 16 yo and DH and I may consider going away for a night or two during the school year late next year when there is not much downtime AND we'd have plenty of backup to check on them. When we go out on a standard date/activity we often set it up so our kids want to be together and they claim they bicker less without us around, but no way would 6 days work.

6 days is NOT a "short" trip. Several posters have mentioned this. You describing a week away from your children as "short" suggests to me that you are trying to convince yourself that this is OK, against your better judgment. A "short" trip would be a weekend, not a week.

Frankly, it sounds like you are either having marital issues or this is a second marriage. Or maybe one spouse is pressuring the other into taking this trip because s/he is feeling needy.

I know there are parents who do this kind of thing, but such behavior comes across to many fellow parents as irresponsible. If you are having marital issues find a better way to deal with them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

Is this a problem to you? It sounds like you survived to tell the tale.

That's a pretty low bar. If that's the parenting standard, I'm sure OP could leave the 14 year old alone for a month and it would be a success as long as they survived.

What do you think your 14 year old is going to be doing 4 years from now in college?

You’ll probably have them living at home with you while attending college virtually.

That's absurd logic. A lot of maturity happens between 14 and 18. I mean why do we bother parenting at all, babies will eventually be adults assuming they survive.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

Is this a problem to you? It sounds like you survived to tell the tale.

That's a pretty low bar. If that's the parenting standard, I'm sure OP could leave the 14 year old alone for a month and it would be a success as long as they survived.

What do you think your 14 year old is going to be doing 4 years from now in college?

You’ll probably have them living at home with you while attending college virtually.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

Is this a problem to you? It sounds like you survived to tell the tale.

That's a pretty low bar. If that's the parenting standard, I'm sure OP could leave the 14 year old alone for a month and it would be a success as long as they survived.

Anonymous wrote:Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.

Is this a problem to you? It sounds like you survived to tell the tale.

Anonymous wrote:Of course there's nothing wrong with this, but I wouldn't leave them home unsupervised! Even if they are "good kids".

Yes, party central!

Nothing wrong with taking a kid free trip. However not a chance I would leave my teens of those ages home alone for 6 days. I have mature, responsible and “good” kids the same ages for what it is worth

I think it’s depend on your kids and their maturity.

My parents would be more than fine with me and my siblings at these ages.

I was the eldest of 4 kids youngest and I was 6 years apart. I flow international flights a lone at age 10 ( study aboard and come home by myself a couple times a year). By 14 parents are fine having me took younger siblings 8 and 10 in 26 hours flights 2 connections and pretty much took care of them when we were I. Foreign country the whole summer then.

My siblings are pretty easy going. They listened to me as well. So it worked very well for my parents.


In summary. It’s not extream to do what you wanted to do but depends a lot on your kids maturity and temperament.

I think it’s absolutely nuts to do this.

Anonymous wrote:My husband and I are planning a six-day trip this August—just the two of us, no kids. Our teens are 18 (girl), 16 (boy), and 14 (girl), and we’ll be leaving them home alone for this length of time.

We also have a 16-day family trip planned in July, so we’ll be spending plenty of time together as a family.

I’ve been thinking: is it “wrong” to want a trip without the kids? We love our kids dearly, and they’re responsible and trustworthy—which is why we feel confident leaving them home.

I know it’s important to nurture our relationship as a couple too, and this seems like a healthy way to do it.

Has anyone else done something like this? How did it go for your family?

No.
Enjoy your trip

Even if the 18 year old is generally trustworthy, as far as 18 year olds go, they’re not an adult or parent- they aren’t reliable enough to actively care for a 14 year old for a week. I mean care like feed, attend to, spend time with, entertain, make sure they go to bed at a decent hour. The 16 year old won’t do that either. So a 14 year old kid will maybe at least have other people in the house with them but no active caring for or parenting for a week. That’s nuts to me and every other mother in this thread.

Anonymous wrote:Leaving a 14 year old with two other teens for a week is the crazy part of this. Not the trip generally.

I agree. I wouldn’t leave a 14 year old unless my 18 year old was already in college and incredibly trustworthy. I’d also make sure there is an adult nearby for emergencies. DS had an awful car accident this week (thankfully just suffered a concussion but the car is another story). There’s no way he could have navigated the situation without a trusted adult who could get him checked out, deal with insurance companies and have the car towed. He is an 18 year old who is super duper mature and responsible but emergencies happen even to the best kids.

Super weird the way you’re focused on whether it’s wrong to get away from your kids, which is very common and lots of people do, but you’re ignoring the fact that you’d leave a 14 year old alone for almost a week and you think it’s fine.

Totally unrelated fun fact: my parents left me and my brother at home for 4-5 days when I was 17 and he was 15. Guess what happened! I had several friends and my boyfriend virtually living in my house those days AND lost my virginity to said boyfriend. And I was a very reliable good kid for the most part.