Has she already studied for and taken the SAT? That and getting started on college essays are things that need to happen this summer.

I wouldn’t make my kid work (though my 16 yo does lifeguard in the summer), but I would make her do something— work, volunteer, etc. And I would cut her time on screens waaaaay down.

Temp work

I don’t allow my teens to “just do nothing” in the summer. That does not mean they need to be constantly busy (some downtime in the summer is great!), but they must be doing SOMEthing structured. Volunteer work, a job, busy with an extracurricular or sport etc. Something. One of mine is similar to your daughter and I required him to get a summer job.

It might be challenging to find a summer job at this point, but I’m sure there are plenty of places she could volunteer. I would tell her it is required, & if she won’t find something, you will find it for her.

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone afraid of their kids?

She can’t not do anything this summer. You’re in charge. You pay for her phone bill; you pay for WiFi. This is an easy fix. She works or volunteers or takes community college classes or you don’t pay for her phone bill. Stop letting her rule the roost.

I wouldn't say it's an easy fix to try to convince a kid used to spending 12 hours a day on social media to do something else. But it is not hard to put time limits on phones for amount of use and to shut down specific devices off your wifi if your kid isn't doing what they need to do.

Why is everyone afraid of their kids?

She can’t not do anything this summer. You’re in charge. You pay for her phone bill; you pay for WiFi. This is an easy fix. She works or volunteers or takes community college classes or you don’t pay for her phone bill. Stop letting her rule the roost.

Does she have any interests? She’ll need activities for her college apps anyway. Might as well do something.

If she likes online, there are tons of online classes—art/business/science…have her pick something related to something she might want to study in college.

There are also tons of speciality overnight camps. My oldest did a couple of art business camps and my youngest is doing a guitar camp.

Plus volunteering—does her school work with any places?

In person classes—fitness, art, music, etc.

SAT class?

No kids in my house are allowed to not work in the summers. Jobs are required at age 16 and every summer afterwards. She should’ve been job searching months ago. It’s too late now.

I’d give her a daily list of chores.

Take a class, get a PT job, volunteer. She can pick one.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She’s a junior right now, she’ll be a senior in the fall. Her screen time during days off is 12hr, she’s addicted. She refuses to get a job. She doesn’t have a desire to spend money or buy anything, so that does contribute to this. OP

Then you have a bigger problem than having no summer plans. You have a kid with a digital addiction with no social life and aspirations. Maybe you can get some professional guidance on this.

Plus 1,000

She MUST handle this now, because if she goes to college, she will have a hard time staying focused and doing her homework - college, as you know, is very loose - you take 4 classes per semester which fills up some hours, but there is LOTS of time that the college student must design their own time - to study, sleep, hang out with friends, go to a party, eat, etc. She is at huge danger of ending up just staying on her device way too much when not in class and not getting her homework done, which means she will be on academic probation very quickly.

Also, in my house we either worked or volunteered - no WAY were we allowed to "just be at home all day" in the summer. We certainly had downtime, and weren't working 8 hours a day, but a part time job is absolutely required.

Now, if you are home, she gets 2 hours of screens per day. The rest of the day if she isn't working at a job/volunteering, she can clean the house from top to bottom weekly (dust, vacuum, wash the kitchen floor & bathrooms). On other days she will do projects - reorganize all closets, clean out the shed (or come to my house and get our shed cleaned out); cutting the grass 2x/week until mid summer, then 1x/week, and edging. And weeding - so much weeding! Hell, if you have silver she can polish the silver as a project. I bet she'd get a PT job if you told her all that (and meant it).

NOW - if you work, I have no idea how you could enforce the above, so THEN I'd require a job. Yes, get a job shelving books at the library. Or volunteer somewhere - she can clean cages at an animal shelter without talking to many people. I don't know but GET OUT OF THE HOUSE AND WORK/VOLUNTEER!

I'd make some suggestions and tell her she has to do something. Maybe that is a community college class, or an art class, or a college essay writing workshop. Maybe she can travel by going to visit a family member or friend. or she can find a job or place to volunteer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"My 17 year old daughter has basically no plans for the summer"...what is "summer" these days for K-12 kids? "Summer" is maybe eight weeks long max now, six if you're doing a fall activity (sport, marching band, etc.). Summer for fall activity kids ends in July now. "Summer vacation" has shrunk to almost nothing at this point, to suit the parents' schedules. Who wants to hire your kid for six weeks over the summer, with a week of that being training? Nobody.

Lots of camp counselor jobs. Who do you think does those jobs? High school kids.

There are also a lot of kids who work during the year and ramp it up in the summer. My ds used to bus tables a couple times a week and then be scheduled more in the summer. Same with lifeguarding, you get more shifts.

Anonymous wrote:"My 17 year old daughter has basically no plans for the summer"...what is "summer" these days for K-12 kids? "Summer" is maybe eight weeks long max now, six if you're doing a fall activity (sport, marching band, etc.). Summer for fall activity kids ends in July now. "Summer vacation" has shrunk to almost nothing at this point, to suit the parents' schedules. Who wants to hire your kid for six weeks over the summer, with a week of that being training? Nobody.

Lots of camp counselor jobs. Who do you think does those jobs? High school kids.

Anonymous wrote:What is with these people deciding they don't WANT a job? Stop giving them money, and tell them if they WANT money then they NEED a job. If they are old enough to work they are too old for a weekly allowance. Motivate your children, people!

+1 million

Why are kids allowed to just sit around all day. I mean, she should be doing something productive. It’s good for her and it’s good for her college applications.

So glad phones and tablets weren’t a thing when I was a kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is with these people deciding they don't WANT a job? Stop giving them money, and tell them if they WANT money then they NEED a job. If they are old enough to work they are too old for a weekly allowance. Motivate your children, people!

OP addressed. The kid goes nowhere and doesn't spend money. So probably not a lot of money being given.

I agree for many teens this is a motivator.

How is she accessing Tik Tok? Take that away. Or just flat out tell them "Go get a job!"

You could tell her that she has to contribute financially to her portion of the WiFi and her phone if she wants access to them. I bet she would be more motivated to get a job if those were taken away.