Anonymous wrote:He doesn't want a family. You can't make him want a family.

This

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men only care about their kids so long as they are with their wife. Case in point, all the men who ignore their kids from their first marriage after they remarry. It’s terribly sad. I’m glad to be a woman and to have girls.

These same men will fall over themselves doting on the kids of the woman they’re currently banging.

Yep!

Anonymous wrote:This is common in Texas where you pay the same child support whether you get 50% custody or zero.

Smoked out the dudes who don’t parent…

Honestly, this will work out best for you. He sounds like the type that would be far away mentally and emotionally even if he lived across the street. To me...that would be worse. Your life will be saner with him out of the picture basically. Get your child support. Get your college funds. Get your custody. Move on.

While I cannot pretend to understand it, and it makes me incredibly sad for our kids, I am incredibly grateful that XH didn’t want much custody and rarely takes all of what he does have. He moved far enough away to remove himself from our day to day lives, presumably so he could focus on starting over without the specter of his old life haunting him. None of it is what I wanted, but I’ve made the best of his terrible decisions.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of men only care about their kids so long as they are with their wife. Case in point, all the men who ignore their kids from their first marriage after they remarry. It’s terribly sad. I’m glad to be a woman and to have girls.

These same men will fall over themselves doting on the kids of the woman they’re currently banging.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't mind at all, it solves a lot of custody problems. Your goal is to get the most money out of him, including guarantees for college, and the least custody hassle.

He might meet someone in the next few years, have more kids, suddenly get hit with the reality of college costs and find ways to wriggle out of them. So perhaps get a lump sum now just for that. My son's private university is now in the 90K+ (thank goodness he has merit aid). In-state flagship costs more than 30K.

This.

So many women on here would love to be in your situation. Be grateful he is not fighting you for custody and focus on a strategy to extract as many resources as possible from him now for his children before he has others.

But the real benefit is him not being around. Kids shuffling between house every week is such a nightmare. I’m forever grateful that my mother got full custody.

He doesn't want a family. You can't make him want a family.

Make men ashamed to walk out on their families again.

A lot of men only care about their kids so long as they are with their wife. Case in point, all the men who ignore their kids from their first marriage after they remarry. It’s terribly sad. I’m glad to be a woman and to have girls.

This is common in Texas where you pay the same child support whether you get 50% custody or zero.

What is the main reason for your divorce OP?

Could your STBX Husband be having a mid-life crisis & possibly wants to live his life as a bachelor??
I.e., no family responsibilities, etc.

No matter what his reasoning > he is acting like a selfish jerk if he actually follows through on this. 😠

You’re in the best possible scenario, OP. I’ve prayed for this outcome. And with regards to the above comment about making sure he communicates and owns his decision to the kids: I made mine do that and it was later used against me in a brutal custody battle. The wrong person with an agenda in family law can really twist this.

Seriously, you could not ask for a better choice for the other party to make in a divorce with kids.

Don’t say a peep, file your papers, offer weekly visitation or time with the kids in a proactive way until you have a written and court-approved parenting plan, and document the crap out of every interaction or lack of.

Just make sure HE is the one telling the kids his plans. You just listen and be supportive of the kids. If they ask why or if he doesn’t love them, you let him explain. In private you help them process.

He needs his will to have assets in irrevocable trusts for your mutual children.

Avoid the blended family, wife 2,3,4 siphoning off all his future monies as he kicks his first batch of kids and wife to the curb.