Anonymous
Post 03/15/2026 03:36     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
OP here. It's for a scholarship at the community college where he was a student. I had given quite a bit toward funeral expenses, and when my brother announced the scholarship, I assumed that he and his wife were funding it and that they were offering everyone the opportunity to participate with symbolic contributions.

I like the advice to give now what I'd be willing to give at the end of the campaign to make up any shortfall. I'll do that, and try to tune out any future noise from troublesome relatives. Thanks, everyone, for your feedback.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 21:23     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
$250 plus another $100 ($50 x 2 birthdays) is not much for this situation. I would have given more up front. However, I don’t think the parents are going to meet their $25k goal at this point.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 21:08     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
Say nothing. Do nothing based on what they say. Contribute what you feel right about in your heart. You have nothing to feel guilty about.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 20:59     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
What is wrong with you people??? Their kid died. OP's nephew died. $250 is an embarrassment. I would have given ten times that much. Hell I would have given more.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 20:49     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
Two years of grieving a beloved child is nothing. Please cut them some slack. Donate more or don’t but they are suffering and disappointed this idea didn’t play out how they hoped. They likely won’t reach their goal, which must feel awful. They are living through every parent’s worst nightmare and if this is a coping mechanism it’s far from the worst one.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 20:36     Subject: Re:endowed scholarship drama
Anonymous wrote:I would withhold judgment and give as much as I could. It’s your nephew.


No, that's ridiculous. Grief does not entitle you to jerk behavior, especially years after the event.

Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 20:33     Subject: Re:endowed scholarship drama
I would withhold judgment and give as much as I could. It’s your nephew.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 20:17     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
Yes. I misread and thought $250k. That's about $12,000 a year. Not sure if this is a private school K-12 scholarship or college.
But $25k unless it is a one shot is not a lot as an award at 4 or 5 percent a year.
I think PPs are right grieving family sees this as cash merit for their child but really should have gotten most then, not expect initial and then birthday merit each year.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 20:10     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
Anonymous wrote:Sorry, but what is this scholarship for? 25K is not much if they want to use interest earnings for an actual payout. I also agree that this is something the parents should have self-funded if they want such a memory.


Good point.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 19:01     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
Sorry, but what is this scholarship for? 25K is not much if they want to use interest earnings for an actual payout. I also agree that this is something the parents should have self-funded if they want such a memory.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 18:11     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I recently learned that my brother and sister-in-law are annoyed with me for not contributing more to the scholarship fund they've established in memory of their son who passed away two years ago. They're mad in general that people aren't contributing what they believe people should, but specifically, my $250 when they created the fund and $50 on birthdays is insufficient. They need to raise $25K in five years, and today, two years in, they have around $11K (so, they're on track for success).

I know everyone grieves in their own way, but... this is presumptuous, right?

I haven't said anything to them because I'm not supposed to know; a different trouble-making relative decided to stir the pot and report to me. All things considered, it has the ring of truth. Today they published a social media post leaning on friends and family to contribute, so I'm feeling indignant again after months of successfully swallowing my emotions.



Yes.

If you aren’t rich enough to endow a scholarship yourself, don’t do it.


+1. Don't feel bad.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 18:01     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
Anonymous wrote:$250 is super light...I would have done a minimum of 1K


The most recent funeral in my family, I ponied up for funeral costs, flowers, food.... If someone had said "And now you need to donate to this scholarship," I'm not sure I would have given another dime.
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 17:54     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
$250 is super light...I would have done a minimum of 1K
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 17:38     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
Can the parents not put aside $100 per week and fund the scholarship themselves? Why are they expecting other people to do it for them?
Anonymous
Post 03/14/2026 16:51     Subject: endowed scholarship drama
They’re going to have a hard time getting to $25K at this point. Donations are given at death, few are going to give more after that. Also it would typically be primarily funded by them, anything from others is very generous. It is very kind of you to donate annually. That they expect anything more from anyone is outrageous. They’re probably both very sad and very unrealistic.