Agree that you need to nip this in the bud.
My parents planned a trip with their kids and grandkids for their 50th and my cousin threw a complete tantrum that she wasn’t invited. My aunt called me urging me to invite her and that she’d pay her own way. It had nothing to do with the money but I know what she’s like traveling! I just said no and things have been tense since.

I would nip this in the bud right now and say No. Sounds like a complete nightmare. I have traveled extensively and planned every trip my family and extended family has ever taken, along with several family/friends trips. No way I would take this on.

I’m always amazed when people are able to walk around without a spine.

OP, you tell your sister that you do not want others to join. You tell her that you envisioned this trip and planned this trip as a special way for you and she to spend sister time together with just the two of you and your spouses. You tell her that maybe another time there can be a group trip but this time there is no way you want to travel with anyone but her and her husband.

You tell her all this firmly and uncompromisingly. That gives her ammunition to go back to the others and tell them, “My sister let me know that this is a trip she wanted to spend with just me, as sisters, and it means a lot to her that we do this. So maybe next time we can do a bigger group trip somewhere, but it’s not going to work out for Japan this time.”

You be firm, which will let her be firm. Do not expand the group AT ALL. These other people are friggin’ PUSHY!

I would tell my sister- that's fine, but we won't be traveling together - shed be solely responsible for them. We'll get dinner one night but not coordinating plans.

Anonymous wrote:You're working yourself up for a situation that hasn't happened. There are a ton of times family or friends have made remarks about joining us on vacation but never follow through.

I tend to think this way, but I would definitely refuse any hopes and dreams if they start to develop. It's strange that people so distant from the situation would even think about inviting themselves on your trip. If they can afford to travel and are interested, why can't they book their own trip and ask your sister for suggestions on things to do while they're there?

You will be the third wheel on your own vacation. Tell her to plan with her side of the family for another time. She can use her experience on this trip to help them plan for another time.

I'm actually a fan of big extended family trips too, but that is not what you signed up for here.

Hell to the no. No, no, no. Whatever you can do to shut this down, do it.

It’s annoying bc the other people aren’t self sufficient. We actually just went on an intl trip and 2 other families ended up coming too. We stayed in different hotels and met up for dinner, and did one side trip together. We all booked our own tickets. It was very fun but mostly worked bc no expectation to do stuff together.

"Hey Larla, please let your in-laws know that the trip has already been planned for a maximum of 4 people and it will be impossible to size it up to include more people. Tell them that we will consider including them in our next trip to Japan should we choose to return. I do not want any misunderstandings about this. They need to know they cannot come on this trip."

Anonymous wrote:+1 I would also die on this hill. The trip sounds like it would become a disaster with these extra people.

+2

Be an adult and speak

But now more people want to tag along

You say no. Tell your sister/her DH that if they invite anyone else - then you and DH will make this a trip, a trip just for the two of you.

1. It's not going to happen.
2. If it does, no worries, it's not possible to go around Japan as a large group unless you hire a touring company and get arrangements made for a large group. Otherwise you will end up doing stuff in groups of 4 because that's how it works.

- Japanese.

I'm now laughing because I'm thinking of the Seinfeld episode -- you need to pull a Tuscany: It's booked! It's booked solid! For generations!