OP, I was wondering something similar yesterday and would love to see some data on who is having 4th kids. My kids go to a religious school in a UMC neighborhood and there are lots of families with 4 kids. I have three boys and one thing I’ve noticed is that most families with 4 don’t have three older boys (even if they end up with a combo of 3 boys).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:its popular with female doctors, 3rd one cost me so much of my health...

All the female docs I know have 0-1 kids. But they are in academia so maybe it’s different!

I’m a female doc in academia and I have 4, but I’m an outlier based on my experience. I have one other female colleague with 4 but she is older (just about to retire). My other female colleagues with kids mostly have 1. One has 2. We’re all mid 30s-mid 40s and all of them waited to have their first until they finished residency.

I’ve been in academia for about 10 years now and female medical students are having babies during school, rather than waiting like in the past.

Back in 2008 when my now 23 year old started kindergarten, I was surprised by how many families had three kids.

its a flex.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I feel like I’m hearing more 3rd kids. And actually seeing 1 or 3 kid families instead of 2.

I am noticing this too. My older kid especially has a lot of only child friends. He just turned 10 (born in late 2015) friends in his grade all born mid 2015-mid 2016. I wonder if Covid affected any families. Like by the time they were ready to have a second, Covid hit and they decided to put it off until the situation was better, and then decided they were ok stopping with one.

Yes, seems to be very common now.

Anonymous wrote:Data is your friend.

In the US, the average number of children per family is less than 2, and is continuing to decline.

You're noticing the larger families more, OP et al, because your mind is used to seeing small families!

What others point out, IVF use in wealthy families, is true - but it's nowhere near enough to reverse the overall trend.

That’s the average. For people who have kids, most have 2 or 3. I’m in loudoun county and my entire culdesac has 3 kids. Every house! One has 5. I get that this is bias because people moved to large houses so they could have bigger families, but I see 3 kids everywhere.

My husband's group of friends from college are all wealthy now so out of 7 couples there's (1) DINK (2) married plus two and (4)married with 3. We are not wealthy and have two. The other two kid family does all private school and country club and can't afford three with that lifestyle. The fams with 3 kids are mostly 700k plus incomes or one fam with family money.

All of my friends are 1-2 only, small exception for those married to first gen immigrants.

Funds or religion are the decision makers.

Anonymous wrote:I think having only two kids of the same gender is becoming less common. It's either boy-girl sib set or three plus, and yeah, probably because it's more acceptable now to have a baby at 40+.

You might be on to something. Of my social circle (late 30s / Massachusetts), it feels like a lot of people stop at 2 when they have same gender siblings, when it is boy-girl sib set, it seems like a lot of those parents are the ones who end up with a 3rd.

It’s just you, OP

Anonymous wrote:its popular with female doctors, 3rd one cost me so much of my health...

All the female docs I know have 0-1 kids. But they are in academia so maybe it’s different!

The vast majority of my family and friends have 1-2 (if they have kids at all). My childhood best friend does have 4, but not planned (the planned 3rd ended up twins). On the flip side, my college best friend was one and done. In our school community, in my friend groups, amongst all my cousins, 3 is very, very rare. It’s more common to not have kids at all in my circles.

Yes, I feel like I’m hearing more 3rd kids. And actually seeing 1 or 3 kid families instead of 2.

Anonymous wrote:I think so many millennials were disappointed with their small families of origin. My parents only had 1 and dhs only had 2. Our parents came from large families and we had dozens of cousins, but our kids won’t ever have any cousins.

We had 3 because it gives us that big family feeling but is still low enough that we can spend a lot of time with each.

My brother and I were 15 years apart so it was almost like we weren't raised together. I was sad to see friends with a close sibling and we didn't have that. Both my brother and I had 3 kids.

Anonymous wrote:I'd say maybe 15% of my friends (older Millenial) have 3 or more kids. Most are very religious.

What's crazy is that's my estimate before Googling anything. I changed it from 10 to 15%. Turns out the number IS 15%.

I'm a rare person that has 3 kids, but my first wasn't the "plan" so I started at least 6 years earlier than friends. My 3rd was a battle. Fertility goes quick, sadly.