OP, I was at a party last night with a highly extroverted, witty person and they were *exhausting*! I wish you were there so we could have talked quietly and deeply about things that matter to us.

Most people around here are boring. No one does anything but work and raise kids. Limited hobbies, travel, volunteer work, parties, etc.

Anonymous wrote:I’m not the one making witty banter or laughing loudly as I make my way through a room charming everyone. I’m intense and guarded and intellectually inclined.

It’s been hard as I think people don’t like me and find it hard to connect with me.

Any advice on how to navigate the world?

First step would be to stop judging yourself and others. Labeling yourself and others in order to put everyone in boxes is inherently limiting. Why place yourself into the “can’t make witty banter” box like this? It’s a skill like anything else. Unless the reason is that you want to “other” those who make witty banter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How to win friends and influence people by Carnegie Mellon.

Are you rude to people that are good with people and funny and can banter?

I think you mean Dale Carnegie.

lol. I was talking to niece about Carnegie Mellon … oops!

Many quiet people are adored. For example, many people love their quiet therapist. To understand why, you can try an easy therapy technique: parrot people back to themselves. If they tell a story about a wonderful dinner, you can say, “That dinner does sound wonderful.” It makes them feel understood. It encourages them to open up even more.

If you do it a lot, eventually you’ll see it’s not always fun being the one sought out. Usually people are seeking you out because you give them something, like listening or care or understanding or, as you observe, fun or laughter. Small talk that settles into relationships are two people who seek each other out. It’s reciprocal.

People might not dislike you at all. They might just not be getting much from you.

Me too OP. I do try to ask questions but I was raised that asking a lot of questions is nosy / busy-body behavior so it makes me feel awkward. I love when I find a long talker!

OP, I am too. I’m good with it but I often wonder how these people can think so creatively so fast. It’s a skill I’d love to have.
I’m a bookish nerd who loves to travel but can homebody for days as well. I’ve come to realize conversation exhausts me but it fuels others.
I’m had a rough childhood and can get stuck inside my head analyzing what I said and wondering if ppl like me. Most of the time, I’d rather avoid.

Change your ways.

You have admitted that you are boring ➕ stuffy.
👏🏽
Congratulations…..not many people take that first step.
Acknowledgement is no.#1.