Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway is, don't micromanage the people taking care of your loved one.

My takeaway is that their approach is not working with your loved one; in fact it's having a negative effect. The caretakers will catch on if you tell them that.

I'm sure that approach worked well for someone else, but they need to know that it doesn't work all the time with everyone.

+1

Thank you for getting it.

OP

Anonymous wrote:My takeaway is, don't micromanage the people taking care of your loved one.

My takeaway is that their approach is not working with your loved one; in fact it's having a negative effect. The caretakers will catch on if you tell them that.

I'm sure that approach worked well for someone else, but they need to know that it doesn't work all the time with everyone.

My dad constantly talked about meeting my brother/his son, who passed away years before. He would talk about needing to meet up to get his truck to him. It was daily. I went along with whatever story he had in his head. Yes, I told him 'we'll do it tomorrow'. Each day he thought he was going to see my brother. Yes, he was agitated and frustrated. But he would have been agitated and frustrated with pretty much every scenario. No matter what I said or how I responded, he would be circle back to needing to meet his son. If I said that his son was dead, that would make him upset. If I said 'nope, we aren't going to see him' he would get upset. I would try to change the subject and he would circle back. So, I would try to defer the situation. We'll do it tomorrow. Hoping that he would forget tomorrow. He couldn't remember his son was dead, but he could remember I said we were going to see him tomorrow.

Dementia is a horrible disease. I don't think that there is a right or wrong way to handle this. Everyone is doing the best that they can.

^^Meant - she became agitated when a large group of people entered the building, and she started racing toward the front door/exit. Sorry, typing quickly