Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 17:42     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Maybe that's why. Perhaps they'd like the wedding and reception to not have a ton of young kids running around.


This. If they have to provide a seat, a meal, and cake for every niece and nephew it would be a lot. And might mean a larger venue.

Since you will have a baby in arms, and you're close relatives, you may ask.


You're not close relatives if they forgot to list your baby on the invitation. He's not invited.


Maybe they didn’t forget. Maybe the close relatives prefer a baby-free wedding.


Yes, that's what I meant. A previous poster said maybe they forgot OP had a baby, and I think they did not. They know full well and he's not invited.


Understood. Agree they are aware the baby, the name of the baby, and how to add the name to an invite. Still I’d ask for clarity, assuming OP really still wants/needs to bring the baby.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 17:38     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Maybe that's why. Perhaps they'd like the wedding and reception to not have a ton of young kids running around.


This. If they have to provide a seat, a meal, and cake for every niece and nephew it would be a lot. And might mean a larger venue.

Since you will have a baby in arms, and you're close relatives, you may ask.


You're not close relatives if they forgot to list your baby on the invitation. He's not invited.


Maybe they didn’t forget. Maybe the close relatives prefer a baby-free wedding.


Yes, that's what I meant. A previous poster said maybe they forgot OP had a baby, and I think they did not. They know full well and he's not invited.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 17:36     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Maybe that's why. Perhaps they'd like the wedding and reception to not have a ton of young kids running around.


This. If they have to provide a seat, a meal, and cake for every niece and nephew it would be a lot. And might mean a larger venue.

Since you will have a baby in arms, and you're close relatives, you may ask.


You're not close relatives if they forgot to list your baby on the invitation. He's not invited.


Maybe they didn’t forget. Maybe the close relatives prefer a baby-free wedding.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 17:31     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Maybe that's why. Perhaps they'd like the wedding and reception to not have a ton of young kids running around.


This. If they have to provide a seat, a meal, and cake for every niece and nephew it would be a lot. And might mean a larger venue.

Since you will have a baby in arms, and you're close relatives, you may ask.


You're not close relatives if they forgot to list your baby on the invitation. He's not invited.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 17:30     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:Definitely ask.

My guess is no kids because they are worried about kids getting attention.


Doubtful. It's always about money. Kids were $$$ at my wedding.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 17:24     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Definitely ask.

My guess is no kids because they are worried about kids getting attention.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 17:04     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
I think they weren't thinking about the baby. Your husband needs to clarify if this is adults only.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 15:52     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:Do not put ILs in the middle of this. Bad advice.

DH needs to ask his brother. You have been given much advance notice, either way.


+1

Ask the person who is responsible for making the decision. You don't need to consult the website. You don't need to involve parents. Just ask.



Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 15:36     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Do not put ILs in the middle of this. Bad advice.

DH needs to ask his brother. You have been given much advance notice, either way.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 15:32     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
If they included a website link on the save the date, see if you can access the rsvp section. Those typically have check boxes next to each invited family member’s name.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 15:14     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Ask MIL.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 15:11     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Feeling like a lot of important people won't be able to make it is just your opinion. Perhaps other people are more important that day than distant siblings who have kids they may not have even met. Have your BIL and his fiance met your baby at least once?


This. I have three kids (6, 4, and 2) and even if they were invited I wouldn’t bring them to a wedding, I want to enjoy myself!! I’ve left them with family and gotten babysitters at an AirBnB through the couple/couples parents to attend weddings. I’d assume most parents want to enjoy a wedding without their kids.


I agree, but when DH's siblings got married, my baby's presence was demanded. I wanted to leave her with a babysitter, since dh and I were also in the wedding.


DP This is being a little over-dramatic. If you truly wanted your baby at a babysitter, it would have been fine.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 15:06     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Just got the save the date for a wedding for my BIL's wedding in the midwest. Would you assume "Mr and Mrs Smith" on the envelope means just the couple and no kids? I expect the actual invitation will have more clarity with the RSVP options, but we have a baby who will be a little over a year old at the time of the wedding and I need to feel out child care options with my side of the family as early as possible if he isn't invited.

And yes, DH and I could just ask but that feels annoying. Maybe I'm over thinking it. I'm a little surprised this wedding would be no kids as the couple are both youngest children and all of their siblings have young kids and most live out of state like we do. Feels like a lot of important people will not be able to make and/or have to leave the reception early if no kids are allowed.


Don’t ask. Take your baby with you. Don’t traumatize a 1 year old.


Traumatize? Are you always this unhinged?

OP, absolutely ask as it is extremely rude to assume and just take the child.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 15:00     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Feeling like a lot of important people won't be able to make it is just your opinion. Perhaps other people are more important that day than distant siblings who have kids they may not have even met. Have your BIL and his fiance met your baby at least once?


This. I have three kids (6, 4, and 2) and even if they were invited I wouldn’t bring them to a wedding, I want to enjoy myself!! I’ve left them with family and gotten babysitters at an AirBnB through the couple/couples parents to attend weddings. I’d assume most parents want to enjoy a wedding without their kids.


I agree, but when DH's siblings got married, my baby's presence was demanded. I wanted to leave her with a babysitter, since dh and I were also in the wedding.
Anonymous
Post 02/10/2026 14:57     Subject: Does "Mr and Mrs Smith"on save the date mean no kids?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Feeling like a lot of important people won't be able to make it is just your opinion. Perhaps other people are more important that day than distant siblings who have kids they may not have even met. Have your BIL and his fiance met your baby at least once?


This. I have three kids (6, 4, and 2) and even if they were invited I wouldn’t bring them to a wedding, I want to enjoy myself!! I’ve left them with family and gotten babysitters at an AirBnB through the couple/couples parents to attend weddings. I’d assume most parents want to enjoy a wedding without their kids.


+1