Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not prey. I don't need someone chasing me. I don't play games. Clearly you haven't learned much from a failed marriage given you are starting out in a very unhealthy way.

I don't think OP is talking about playing games. She talks about displaying an interest, being proactive, pursuing the woman, impressing her. I don't think it is unhealthy relationship.

Exactly. Wanting someone who wants you is hardly unhealthy. I'm glad op recognized previous patterns that werent serving her and has adjusted her approach. Very mature. I'm not sure why pps are jumping on her for this.

Anonymous wrote:I love a competent man who initiates. Super sexy.

+1
So many men are lazy these days.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve recently started dating after divorce and I only am engaging with men who demonstrate clear and eager interest in me. They call when they say they will, they schedule dates, they are respectful and let me lead the pace.

Why did I waste so much time chasing men who weren’t truly into me?

Ugh!

Yes! "If he wants to, he will." It's just that simple.

Normalize cutting off men at the first red flag.

It's one thing to not chase unavailable men. It's another to play hard to get or to act like you're not interested in a man you actually are interested in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not prey. I don't need someone chasing me. I don't play games. Clearly you haven't learned much from a failed marriage given you are starting out in a very unhealthy way.

I don't think OP is talking about playing games. She talks about displaying an interest, being proactive, pursuing the woman, impressing her. I don't think it is unhealthy relationship.

What happens when he catches you? I can’t help but notice the posters who say they want the man to pursue them and then complain that their husband doesn’t do all things he did when he was chasing. Of course, both of you made it a game. And he caught the mouse. Game over.

When he catches you, you make a life together and have babies and a wonderful decades long marriage.

You don’t post on DCUM whining about your deadbeat husband because 1) you’re happy and 2) deadbeat men rarely pursue.

Don’t worry, you’re only miserable because no high value man has bothered to pursue you. There’s always hope.

This is the way.

Hopefully, the men that chase you are high quality.

There was a book back in the day titled "the Rules".
The book discussed this particular dynamic.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I used to chase unavailable men and tried to convince them to pick me and choose me.

Now I’m only given attention and assessing men who are clearly interested and pursuing me! I have two men on rotation that are taking me out. A third one asked me out next weekend.

Yay!

Anonymous wrote:Hmm okay I guess desperate men are going even after leftovers. OP you are not a catch. Keep that in mind. You are in the post divorce honey moon phase lol.

What’s all this about? I’ve only dated men that chased me when I was single. Not that there was some shortage.

Anonymous wrote:Op here, I used to chase unavailable men and tried to convince them to pick me and choose me.

Now I’m only given attention and assessing men who are clearly interested and pursuing me! I have two men on rotation that are taking me out. A third one asked me out next weekend.

Ok, don’t chase available men and act like a pick me. I agree! I do think it’s okay to ask out a nice available man and then see what happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not prey. I don't need someone chasing me. I don't play games. Clearly you haven't learned much from a failed marriage given you are starting out in a very unhealthy way.

I don't think OP is talking about playing games. She talks about displaying an interest, being proactive, pursuing the woman, impressing her. I don't think it is unhealthy relationship.

What happens when he catches you? I can’t help but notice the posters who say they want the man to pursue them and then complain that their husband doesn’t do all things he did when he was chasing. Of course, both of you made it a game. And he caught the mouse. Game over.

Anonymous wrote:I am not prey. I don't need someone chasing me. I don't play games. Clearly you haven't learned much from a failed marriage given you are starting out in a very unhealthy way.

I don't think OP is talking about playing games. She talks about displaying an interest, being proactive, pursuing the woman, impressing her. I don't think it is unhealthy relationship.

Obviously

I love a competent man who initiates. Super sexy.

You don’t want to be chased. Could be a narcissist who starts out with love bombing. Or someone really desperate with problems.