Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 14:12     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
We need more information before you'll get any helpful advice
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 12:51     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
If you’re going away on a girls trip, you take the number of people who said they would go and divide it by that number, or that number minus one if you agree you’re paying for the birthday girl. If you never said you’d go, you owe nothing. To be nice you could give a gift card to cover a round of drinks. If you said you’d go and then backed out after the arrangements were made, you owe your share of anything non-refundable. If this is a gift for someone where no one is going (like kids paying for a parents’ anniversary trip), then you generally split the cost between the presenters, with richer siblings kicking in more (they should know to volunteer that).
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 12:28     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
FWIW, since everyone is asking OP how old she is, as if this is a younger people thing...I'm in my early 30s and I've literally never heard of this.

I've heard of guests at a bday dinner splitting the cost of the birthday girl's drinks and dinner. But never a trip where someone isn't going chipping in.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 11:40     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
Zero wth?
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 11:33     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How many folks are contributing ?


4

First time I’ve ever dealt with people contributing for a trip so I don’t have a norm per se for this situation.

I did consider the amount of dinner as a few mentioned too. I wasn’t sure if that worked but glad to hear it can in these situations.


"These situations" are not normal. How old are you? No is also a fine answer.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 11:32     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
Anonymous wrote:Whatever I would spend on a regular gift. Maybe $30.


I'd probably spend close to $50 on a normal gift but the question is - why on earth are you subsidizing someone's trip, especially when you're not going on it?
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 10:40     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
What? Nothing. I'd be really unhappy if my friends planned a trip for me and expected people not coming along to subsidize it. Just buy her a separate gift.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 10:36     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
0

Unless you had reserved a spot then backed out. Then you need to pay your share unless another guest can take your spot.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 09:49     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
Zero. Are you young without kids or older and retired? This is so out of my idea of what friends do for each other’s birthdays. I’d stop the insanity now.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 09:31     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
Zero. How is this even a question.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 00:14     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
Anonymous wrote:Nothing. You’re not going.

This, it’s not a wedding.
Anonymous
Post 01/10/2026 00:11     Subject: Re:How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
Technically if you are not attending a party you are not expected to provide a birthday 🎁 gift however if you choose to provide one that is a nice gesture to do.

In this case, even $20 would be a nice gesture.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2026 23:24     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
I would say nothing... unless plans for the trip were made based on you going, and then you had to back out for some reason. I wouldn't ask other people to pay more then they had originally planned. If that's the case, I would honor whatever you had planned on paying. But if you were never going to go, then you don't owe anything.
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2026 23:02     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:None since you arent going. I would send a bottle of nice wine or champagne to a dinner instead.


+1

+2 this is the correct answer
Anonymous
Post 01/09/2026 22:46     Subject: How much should you contribute toward the $2000 of the birthday person’s total if you aren’t attending?

Is anyone going on the trip? Like is the trip itself a gift for say parents 50th anniversary or is this a girl trip?. For some like anniversary gift you contribute however it's split for girls trip nothing.