Anonymous wrote:I am inheriting a car from my living parent who can no longer drive. This was the wishes of my deceased parent. I have three other siblings. I could really use the car and I strongly believe the parent does not want me to sell it.

I was thinking I’d tell my siblings that when our parent passes I will give them each 1/4 of the car’s value to make things equitable. (I couldn’t easily do it now.)

How would you feel receiving this message as a sibling? Is it weird? Thoughtful? It would be about $4000 each and none of us are rich but we’re all doing ok. I just don’t want any bad blood.

Honestly, if I were your sibling I’d just let you have it. It makes no sense to sell it and you need it and can have it, so. . . What’s the issue? You’re concerned about fairness after your partner dies? If you need a car and can’t afford one and your siblings have one; it’s a no brainer

Your siblings do not care about the used car.

This is ridiculous. It’s not an inheritance. Your parents are allowed to give you a car bc they want to give you a car. I say this as the kid who received the least amount of financial help. Still, people can do what they want with their stuff.

I’m the youngest of 4. Our mother is still alive and lives with one of the sisters who have already received their share of the inheritance — probably 50% each, as 2 of us declined. They recently found a bank account with some money and asked if we would mind if they transferred to the sister who takes care of mom. Obviously I said go ahead. I’ve done a lot for my mom in the past (financially) but an ok with not getting anything even though I might be the least well off. So I would just ask your sibling if they care about the car. Hopefully they won’t, but will appreciate you asking.

Anonymous wrote:I am inheriting a car from my living parent who can no longer drive. This was the wishes of my deceased parent. I have three other siblings. I could really use the car and I strongly believe the parent does not want me to sell it.

I was thinking I’d tell my siblings that when our parent passes I will give them each 1/4 of the car’s value to make things equitable. (I couldn’t easily do it now.)

How would you feel receiving this message as a sibling? Is it weird? Thoughtful? It would be about $4000 each and none of us are rich but we’re all doing ok. I just don’t want any bad blood.

Unless this is a Lamborghini a car is a car.

Anonymous wrote:I am inheriting a car from my living parent who can no longer drive. This was the wishes of my deceased parent. I have three other siblings. I could really use the car and I strongly believe the parent does not want me to sell it.

I was thinking I’d tell my siblings that when our parent passes I will give them each 1/4 of the car’s value to make things equitable. (I couldn’t easily do it now.)

How would you feel receiving this message as a sibling? Is it weird? Thoughtful? It would be about $4000 each and none of us are rich but we’re all doing ok. I just don’t want any bad blood.

Sounds ok to me but I'm pretty easy going.

Suppose parent didn't gift the car, sold it. Spent the money. No sib gets any of the value. Are they really happier with that?

Are you doing more for your parent than your other siblings?

My mom does the majority of the work for her
Mom who has 24/7 care but my mom goes over 2-3x a day to give the medicine (medicine was going missing with the aides) and is the one who goes over if an aide or nurse calls out. She also works FT. She has three siblings within 5-10’minutes two are retired and very wealthy who visit infrequently and barely help at all. My mom’s car died and her mom told her to take her car. The siblings weren’t told but understand considering my mom has been the main caregiver for 2+ years (she and one brother share POA and co/executors).

For an entire year my mom was the caregiver all night and most days after 12. She asked her siblings to find more caregivers because her mom did not want to live in a nursing home and has enough money for 24/7 care. Siblings did nothing or very little so it was something my mom also had go do.

So yeah she gets the nice car, but she earned it and deserves it and if her siblings said anything I would roast them. But they don’t complain because they do very little (and they don’t need the car).

I would calculate that. I think it’s fine to tell your siblings but I think you’ll also have to calculate will you be the one driving your parent to all their appointments? Are you going to be the main or one of the main caregivers? Usually that person gets something extra or they should. It is totally draining.

My mom hasn’t visited her grandkids
Because she has to take care of her own mother and it took me begging her siblings to cover a long weekend so she could go on a
Trip with a friend.

Anonymous wrote:Just take the value of the car out of your share of the assets, And it should be the value today, not when your parent passes since you have the car now.

I disagree with this unless the OP is planning on immediately selling it.

This is reasonable OP although I’d ask your siblings if they’d be okay with it instead of telling them I was doing it. I retitled my mom’s car in my name when she stopped driving due to dementia because it was the only car she could get in and out of easily (I have a large SUV). I pay insurance and maintenance and plan on buying my brother out of his share once she’s gone, unless he has a strong preference for it. It shouldn’t matter to the siblings whether it’s sold on the open market or you buy out their interests as long as they’re made whole.

Anonymous wrote:Of course. It's called a buy-out, and is often done when a group of heirs receives an indivisible asset.

+1. And OP only needs $9k to distribute $3k each to her three siblings.

This is a $12,000 used car? Or $16,000 if the $12k was for the other 3 siblings?
How much is the total estate supposed to be worth?
Seems like fighting over scraps. If that's the sibling dynamic I would ask parent to sell the damn car and give everyone $4k. Then use it as a down payment.

Do you keep track of the money you spend helping out your mom? I would communicate with your siblings about as the carmax poster above suggested, and propose deducting what you're spending on your mom from what you'll owe them on the car.

You need to acknowledge to your siblings that you are aware. I suggest against keeping it silent. Silence is a starting point of future resentments.

I think your proposal sounds good.

Another option if your parent has the funds would be the gift you the car and gift your siblings the $ value of the car - all now, when you take possession.

Or another option which is what my family did is your parent sells the car to you. My mom sold her car to my brother for my nephew’s use - and gave him an interest fee loan. My brother paid her $300/month until it was paid off. She needed the monthly income and the 2 other siblings were fine with this arrangement.