I found out my xH had been cheating literally since day 1 of us dating.

Are far as I could tell, he wanted the validation and attention from other women, but also the validation and attention from a long term partner. Basically he was an insecure little baby who needed nonstop validation to feel good about himself. He also wasn’t capable of any real emotional depth. Conflict resolution skills were a mess, over any conflict he’d immediately shut down and lock himself in another room. Also had extreme mommy issues.

I don’t think people cheat in isolation. I think there’s usually other severe issues going on, and cheating is just the way they cope with their mental health problems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

She will dump him because the excitement factor is gone. She got what she wanted ie for him to leave another woman for her.

They are actually still together. They have a strong emotional bond. But, the quality of life for me and my ex definitely declined. I think in his mind he’s ok with it because he found his soulmate. Lol

Why did he lose his job? Was she a subordinate?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

She will dump him because the excitement factor is gone. She got what she wanted ie for him to leave another woman for her.

They are actually still together. They have a strong emotional bond. But, the quality of life for me and my ex definitely declined. I think in his mind he’s ok with it because he found his soulmate. Lol

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s just sex and people shouldn’t care so damned much. All that matters is who he comes home to in the end.

But he could eventually leave for the other woman.

Anonymous wrote:They signed up for a monogamous sexual relationship.

When the sex stops, so does the monogamy.

Is that what he told you? Sorry to burst your bubble, he’s still having sex with his wife.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

So relatable. Except they’re not even together now. Everyone’s lives are significantly worse.

Anonymous wrote:They signed up for a monogamous sexual relationship.

When the sex stops, so does the monogamy.

Well - damn - plenty are still having sex at home. Many

Most affairs are committed by people with mental health issues.

CPTSD (daddy issues), bi polar disorder, etc.

Anonymous wrote:According to mine, I stopped giving him time after the birth of our son and he "sought something to fulfill." And I did ask the young woman he cheated with and she said they had a connection.

Of course they had a connection. In their nether regions.

They signed up for a monogamous sexual relationship.

When the sex stops, so does the monogamy.

Anonymous wrote:Because it’s just sex and people shouldn’t care so damned much. All that matters is who he comes home to in the end.

Literally anything else I could do with a friend (go hiking, share a meal, watch a movie, etc) but sex is different. If my spouse ever cheats I'm gone.

According to mine, I stopped giving him time after the birth of our son and he "sought something to fulfill." And I did ask the young woman he cheated with and she said they had a connection.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

She will dump him because the excitement factor is gone. She got what she wanted ie for him to leave another woman for her.

Anonymous wrote:I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.

Never would admit it wasn’t worth it

I’ve thought about this for years. Took my ex husband and I a long time to buy a home, get two good jobs, birth three wonderful kids… all for that to be blown up by his affair. We literally had just become financially stable when everything was blown up. Now he lost his career, I barely make enough to save anything, and kids are coping with 50/50. Quality of life went downhill for everyone. But, ex is still with AP, and I suppose they are happy (albeit not living together). I suppose it was worth it in his mind.