Anonymous
12/09/2025 09:32
Subject: Conflicted about potential relocation for job
Anonymous wrote:I’m 40F, recently laid off, married with three kids (11, 8, and 2). We live in an area I really dislike - moved here for DH’s job several years ago but he has been fully remote since Covid - but have a gorgeous house here. I’ve had a very hard time finding any community and it’s a place where you’re inside half the year due to cold and snow, and it gets harder on me every year.
I’ve been interviewing with a company for a role that read as tailor-made for me, and they’ve moved me through the process very quickly: I would be making more than I made in my previous role and it’s a great opportunity for my career. DH is senior in his company and there’s no indication they will go back to in person: maybe a meeting every few months.
This new role has required on-site presence several days a week in a state I would *love* to live in, with a comparable cost of living to what we pay now. The company I’m interviewing with offers generous relocation; they’re flying me out for the final round next week. But I recognize that uprooting and relocating will be a huge change for all of us. How do you go about making such a big decision?
TIA.
You’re inside half the year due to cold weather and you live in WV? WTF? is there something wrong wtih you that makes you unnaturally susceptible to the cold? Just dress warmly. Good Lord.
Anonymous
12/09/2025 09:23
Subject: Re:Conflicted about potential relocation for job
Anonymous wrote:1) I was mostly in the "go for it" group until you said Florida. Several reasons I wouldn't live there again (aside from politics which IS a real issue in many parts of the state). Have you visited the city you are looking in, to be sure you aren't in love with the 'idea' of what you expect there vs. the reality. Assume you have already.
2) FWIW, I wouldn't uproot my family for a small pay increase (so hopefully its meaningful) - and especially if the job market there will sustain you and DH if either of you losses your job. It's going to be much harder to move your kids when they get just a few years older.
3) I would be sure the cost of real estate that you would buy is within budget/commute/school districts you want. When we moved there (granted it was about 12 yrs ago), we rented for ~4 months while we house shopped. And when all was said and done we realized that to get a similar house to what we had before was actually going to cost more than expected because we were in a popular coastal city. So make sure you do your homework on that big ticket item
PP, forgot to mention we lived there 3 years and moved back to MD. For me it was a hot, boring, place, but my wife liked it. In the end we moved for a significant promotion and to be closer to family again.
Anonymous
12/09/2025 09:20
Subject: Re:Conflicted about potential relocation for job
1) I was mostly in the "go for it" group until you said Florida. Several reasons I wouldn't live there again (aside from politics which IS a real issue in many parts of the state). Have you visited the city you are looking in, to be sure you aren't in love with the 'idea' of what you expect there vs. the reality. Assume you have already.
2) FWIW, I wouldn't uproot my family for a small pay increase (so hopefully its meaningful) - and especially if the job market there will sustain you and DH if either of you losses your job. It's going to be much harder to move your kids when they get just a few years older.
3) I would be sure the cost of real estate that you would buy is within budget/commute/school districts you want. When we moved there (granted it was about 12 yrs ago), we rented for ~4 months while we house shopped. And when all was said and done we realized that to get a similar house to what we had before was actually going to cost more than expected because we were in a popular coastal city. So make sure you do your homework on that big ticket item
2) FWIW, I wouldn't uproot my family for a small pay increase (so hopefully its meaningful) - and especially if the job market there will sustain you and DH if either of you losses your job. It's going to be much harder to move your kids when they get just a few years older.
3) I would be sure the cost of real estate that you would buy is within budget/commute/school districts you want. When we moved there (granted it was about 12 yrs ago), we rented for ~4 months while we house shopped. And when all was said and done we realized that to get a similar house to what we had before was actually going to cost more than expected because we were in a popular coastal city. So make sure you do your homework on that big ticket item
Anonymous
12/07/2025 22:01
Subject: Conflicted about potential relocation for job
You'll never be able to with certainty be able to make that kind of choice. You have to either want to do it or not. If you like the job, your DH is in, go for it! It's one of those life decisions that you have to go all in on if that's what you feel like doing and not worry so much about the future because it's impossible to think through all the what ifs.
Your kids are still ok to do this. That is for me a practical reason why you should go with your heart on this. The future is still a void that can be manifested into anything you desire but.. HS is so much harder for relo and to an extent even 8th for a kid
Good luck!!!
Your kids are still ok to do this. That is for me a practical reason why you should go with your heart on this. The future is still a void that can be manifested into anything you desire but.. HS is so much harder for relo and to an extent even 8th for a kid
Good luck!!!
Anonymous
12/07/2025 12:13
Subject: Conflicted about potential relocation for job
I would never live in WV or FL because of the terrible educations for kids so I can't advise you there except that WV is MUCH less expensive than pretty much all areas of Florida.
Anonymous
12/07/2025 12:05
Subject: Conflicted about potential relocation for job
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is DH on board or no?
If he is I think the decision is made.
If not, what does he see as the reasons for staying?
Ideally I’d move at the beginning of summer so not as disruptive on the older 2 kids schooling.
DH is on board - he loves the place I’m interviewing (it’s coastal and southern). But I do think I’d have to rent a place for the first half of the year to get all of the logistics together (including school for the kids).
Coastal and Southern you are a dam fool,,
What do you not understand about Project 2025
What do you not understand about how this new job will exist only til 2028
Listen when they spew. Shame on you for thinking this is ok for your kids.
I’m as liberal as they come and you sound unhinged.
+1. OP, ignore this poster, they tie every post whether political or not back to trump and project 2025 and can hardly write a complete sentence.
Anonymous
12/07/2025 12:01
Subject: Conflicted about potential relocation for job
Seems like a very easy decision. Good luck on your interview!!!
Anonymous
12/07/2025 11:57
Subject: Re:Conflicted about potential relocation for job
Anonymous wrote:It depends…what state? Florida where most books are banned and vaccinations for kids not covered?
Such ignorance. Schools do not have time to teach all books, therefore they must choose. In Florida, books with content potentially offensive to parents are not chosen. These potentially offensive books are not banned and are available for purchase and in libraries (or you could start a non profit to distribute sexual content to kids and see how it goes.)
Same with childhood vaccines. If you want to protect your kids, you get them vaccinated. No problem unless you put your newborn in daycare in an area with many unvaccinated people (Mennonite daycare?) while they are too young for the vaccines. Oh, but wait, areas with lots of developing world immigrants have the same problem.
The best thing about these policies is that they keep PP and others with similar bigoted attitudes from moving south.
Anonymous
12/07/2025 08:02
Subject: Conflicted about potential relocation for job
Get the job first.
come back to discuss later
good luck with final round.
come back to discuss later
good luck with final round.