Shouldn't the idea have "sunk in" when they contemplated whether to apply ED or not?

What are we teaching kids if we support them in making an ED application and then not following the process they agreed to?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My kid waited to confirm everything with high school college counselor (so, a day or so) and his wasn’t ED, rather restricted early action.

Waiting to see if a kid gets into an EA with an ED in hand gives me the icks, quite honestly. Why do that, other than useless bragging rights or self-congratulations? I don’t think it is “unethical” but I wish kids would be happy with the acceptance they have. That sort of behavior contributes to the rat race mentality, imo, but I am sure there are people who think differently than me.

It's not for bragging rights, but rather validation? My kid applied ED to a school that was not their absolute number one choice, but one where they had a pretty good shot and where applying ED would increase their odds by a lot (based on the acceptance percentages). If this kid got into another school, it would let them know that it wasn't just ED that got them in but they were a strong applicant all around. Of course, if they get rejections from EA schools, then that might sting a little also. I noticed on the CollegeKickstart page that ED decisions are generally released earlier than EA ones.

Why on earth did they ED to a school that wasn’t their top choice?? Getting a boost into a school that isn’t the one you really want is silly, and downright dumb if it then locks you into attending it instead of your preferred school.

Why would you wait? You might be taking a spot from someone who is eager for it!

Anonymous wrote:Does this mean you find out any financial package at the same time as the ED decision? Otherwise I could see why you wouldn’t immediately withdraw.

Junior parent new to the process, so please don’t slam me for the question.

That's not the scenario presented in this question. If you are waiting on FA, of course you wait to withdraw. If it's for ego, bragging rights or "curiosity", you don't wait. That's against the spirit of ED.

Anonymous wrote:My kid got in ED to top school last year. He waited a week to withdraw other apps just to let the idea sink in. There is nothing wrong with that, this is a huge decision. Yes, they did find out an EA acceptance that week as well. They didn’t brag or anything (don’t even think they told a soul)….but yes it was nice to see him get another acceptance and be rewarded for all of their hard work in high school.

Anyways follow your child’s lead and just pull them in a timely manner, I think waiting a week or two is fine.

Just curious, what would you have done if the acceptance had “sunk in” and they had regrets? I think waiting to confirm financial aid offer is different, as is non-binding EA. But your kid signed a contract that they would take the spot unless the financial aid is different than shown - and presumably benefited from the agreement. ED schools should not need to sink in or be validated by other acceptances. Presumably that is what you forgo to get the ED bump.

Anonymous wrote:My kid got in ED to top school last year. He waited a week to withdraw other apps just to let the idea sink in. There is nothing wrong with that, this is a huge decision. Yes, they did find out an EA acceptance that week as well. They didn’t brag or anything (don’t even think they told a soul)….but yes it was nice to see him get another acceptance and be rewarded for all of their hard work in high school.

Anyways follow your child’s lead and just pull them in a timely manner, I think waiting a week or two is fine.

What does this even mean? Was he going to change his mind? If not, he only waited to find out the decisions of other schools which is irrelevant other than an ego stroke. It hurts their yield, at a minimum. But glad your kid and family liked the ego stroke.

My DS applied ED to a great school where he had a good chance of getting in, and EA to a number of schools that he also loved, including one that he probably liked more than his ED option.

When he got into his ED school, we had him withdraw his other applications immediately. That was tough – he had put a lot of work into those application essays and was really curious to know if he would’ve gotten in. But we made the point that it would be better for his high school classmates if he withdrew, and he did withdraw the next day. I think it’s fair to acknowledge that it’s frustrating to have dropped an application and never know the outcome, but ultimately withdrawing as soon as possible is the ethical thing to do.

My kid got in ED to top school last year. He waited a week to withdraw other apps just to let the idea sink in. There is nothing wrong with that, this is a huge decision. Yes, they did find out an EA acceptance that week as well. They didn’t brag or anything (don’t even think they told a soul)….but yes it was nice to see him get another acceptance and be rewarded for all of their hard work in high school.

Anyways follow your child’s lead and just pull them in a timely manner, I think waiting a week or two is fine.

Anonymous wrote:At public schools this is a non-issue. Counselors don’t care about withdrawals much. They don’t even have the bandwidth to track kids’ status. Kids can’t take as long as they feel like.

THIS.

Does this mean you find out any financial package at the same time as the ED decision? Otherwise I could see why you wouldn’t immediately withdraw.

Junior parent new to the process, so please don’t slam me for the question.

At public schools this is a non-issue. Counselors don’t care about withdrawals much. They don’t even have the bandwidth to track kids’ status. Kids can’t take as long as they feel like.

Anonymous wrote:I would check with the counselor on this, usually you have a couple weeks to pay the ED deposit. They don’t expect you to pay and withdraw within hours when you’re dropping $80K a year.

This.
Within a few weeks is fine.

Anonymous wrote:within 24 hours

Funny

I would check with the counselor on this, usually you have a couple weeks to pay the ED deposit. They don’t expect you to pay and withdraw within hours when you’re dropping $80K a year.

Do it immediately. Waiting just to see if he got other admits is unethical, unfair to classmates and a bit desperate. Not to mention if he doesn’t get in, he will feel bad. If he does, he will start having regrets.