Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:29     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.


They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.

I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.


+1 Red shirting is a sensitive issue (see DCPS and the issues they've been having there). Public schools are careful, in my experience, about where kids are placed, because they can't allow one kid to be red shirted under certain conditions without extending that same privilege to all. OP's kid isn't doing well, but he isn't failing.

But if OP's kid is going into private school, yes, then they probably won't care as long as the tuition is paid.


In my experience, this is only K. Kids entering a school in upper elementary or middle school, no they do not care at all. They aren’t calling other schools and examining birthdates, etc. They just don’t care and don’t have the time. They will automatically place your kid in generic classes and move on to the next. If you want them placed in specific levels, then they may ask for test scores, but that isn’t even always the case. My kid started a new school, new district in 6th and I emailed and said I wanted him in Alg I and honors English and they said ok. That was literally all there was to it.


That's your experience but it isn't universal. My kid entering MCPS for MS provided transcripts, past test scores and took 2 placement tests at the school. I had a conversation with my kid's future guidance counselor and the guidance counselor had me talk with the head of the math department to see what placement he recommended. My impression is that they did in fact "care." I guess you can show up and pretend your kid came from a school with zero records and try to get redshirted, but most people don't do that.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:24     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.


They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.

I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.


+1 Red shirting is a sensitive issue (see DCPS and the issues they've been having there). Public schools are careful, in my experience, about where kids are placed, because they can't allow one kid to be red shirted under certain conditions without extending that same privilege to all. OP's kid isn't doing well, but he isn't failing.

But if OP's kid is going into private school, yes, then they probably won't care as long as the tuition is paid.


In my experience, this is only K. Kids entering a school in upper elementary or middle school, no they do not care at all. They aren’t calling other schools and examining birthdates, etc. They just don’t care and don’t have the time. They will automatically place your kid in generic classes and move on to the next. If you want them placed in specific levels, then they may ask for test scores, but that isn’t even always the case. My kid started a new school, new district in 6th and I emailed and said I wanted him in Alg I and honors English and they said ok. That was literally all there was to it.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:21     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


I was a military brat. I was held back at one point right after a PCS for similar reasons. It worked well.

This year and next, supplement outside school — primarily in math but also in areas where he is getting Cs. Supplement might be as simple as buying Kumon math workbooks from Barnes & Noble and systematically going through them 1-2 pages daily (every day) to give him more practice. (Other options also exist for math supplementing, at various price points, but Kumon is really great for reinforcement.) Make sure he is a fluent reader; for this reading either fiction or non-fiction is fine, but reading anime/cartoon books is not fine. Make sure he reads regularly during summers.

Agree that repeating a grade at the new school right after PCS would be good for him. He would be older, probably bigger, more mature, and it also would help with the inevitable social adjustment needed after a PCS. Stay on top of his academics even after the move, and reinforce where grades or teachers or other indicators suggest. Different school systems will have different curricula, even if both locations claim to be using “Common Core”, so it is very common to find 2-3 academic holes right after any PCS.


+1

You'll have all of next year to decide too, so you still have time to see how 8th grade goes. If he's still 100% on board with it and the new school supports it, the gift of more time doesn't usually have many downsides.

Do you know where you might be headed? I know some of the Midwestern states have cutoffs on the earlier side. My DD is a May baby also and it was surprising when she was the very youngest in her Kindergarten class in a state where the cutoff is July 31, and there were kids who were redshirted who were over a year older (common occurrence but it was a new experience with a late spring kid). If you're PCSing to a place where it's Dec 31, he might feel a bit more out of place being that much older than his classmates.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:07     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
We are a foreign service family and did something similar. Our kids deal with so many changes and starting over again is hard. We told our kid that it was a result of different school systems (not untrue)
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:07     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.


They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.

I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.


+1 Red shirting is a sensitive issue (see DCPS and the issues they've been having there). Public schools are careful, in my experience, about where kids are placed, because they can't allow one kid to be red shirted under certain conditions without extending that same privilege to all. OP's kid isn't doing well, but he isn't failing.

But if OP's kid is going into private school, yes, then they probably won't care as long as the tuition is paid.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:06     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.


They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.

I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.


No, they didn’t ask bc they didn’t care and never got them. I know this for a fact


Ok, but your anecdote doesn't mean that this will happen with all kids. We moved into MCPS from out of state and they didn't ask me "what grade did I want to put my kid in." They asked me for the records/transcripts from the prior school.


+1 Just because a handful of schools are lazy doesn't mean they all are. Public schools have to follow more rules. A private school might let you do whatever you want as long as you pay in full.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:06     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."

I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.

This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.

Another thought - since he’s above average in reading and average in math, he will be SO bored repeating 8th, which could lead to less interest/engagement and, especially for a boy with inattentive ADD, even worse grades.


Disagree. Being “bored” in school is nonsense. There is always something to learn or you can supplement at home. There are many non academic benefits to repeating, especially in OPs case. But I do think it would be academically advantageous for him as well. If he is average in math- repeating 8th grade will likely put him in Alg I for the new 8th grade year, which is a much better place to be than taking Alg I in 9th grade.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:04     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would not. He’s too old to be held back - with a May birthday? No you get him a tutor or have him do summer school or whatever you need to do. Or try meds. But you don’t plan to hold a kid back in 8th grade before he’s even started 8th grade. How bizarre ab inappropriate.


Don't listen to the opinions of judgy randos of the Internet? Did you ask his current teachers/guidance counselor what they think? They would have better insights. I also moved when my kid entered 7th grade and get that the shifts between different curricula can be hard (especially with math where school systems vary greatly).


+1 This. If you're enrolling your kid in public school, you're going to need some documentation that your kid is failing and that educational professionals think repeating a year is warranted.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:04     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
^ me again. My son was destined to stay short, since we're both short parents. He was the smallest kid of all his high school. And of course, he was medicated for his ADHD.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:04     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:Public school won’t allow it. They don’t want to pay to educate a kid more years than they have to. That’s expensive. They’ll ask for transcripts, see that you’ve already finished 8th grade, and enroll him in 9th. The only way you may get around it is if he fails all of the 8th grade core classes. I’ve had kids move into my class mid year when delayed transcripts came through from the old school and they realize the kid already finished the prior grade.


Above is NOT our experience as a military family. We have never had a school complain like that or move a child without our permission. PP is guessing and must not have much PCS experience. If it ever did happen, we would have the Base Legal officer engage and explain that the schools cannot do that to military families. There ALWAYS are curriculum gaps when PCSing from one state to another, even if both states claim to be following “Common Core”. And a DoDEA school would never ever do that, but those schools are more common OCONUS than CONUS.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:03     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.


They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.

I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.


No, they didn’t ask bc they didn’t care and never got them. I know this for a fact


Ok, but your anecdote doesn't mean that this will happen with all kids. We moved into MCPS from out of state and they didn't ask me "what grade did I want to put my kid in." They asked me for the records/transcripts from the prior school.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:02     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
My twice exceptional ex-preemie with ADHD, ASD, low processing speed and dyscalculia repeated a grade in elementary school, then got so bored he skipped back to his age group. Then in middle and high, we hired tutors for him, first in writing, because his ADHD made it very hard for him to overcome writer's block and organize his thoughts on paper; then in math, because he had been receiving math support from us all throughout his life, but it got a little burdensome and we were relieved to have tutors take over

Socially, it's a bit fraught to have him repeat a grade at his age. I would do intensive tutoring year round, even in the summer. I think it will be significantly more efficient, OP. His inattention means that any group learning in class will have its limits.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 12:58     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


I was a military brat. I was held back at one point right after a PCS for similar reasons. It worked well.

This year and next, supplement outside school — primarily in math but also in areas where he is getting Cs. Supplement might be as simple as buying Kumon math workbooks from Barnes & Noble and systematically going through them 1-2 pages daily (every day) to give him more practice. (Other options also exist for math supplementing, at various price points, but Kumon is really great for reinforcement.) Make sure he is a fluent reader; for this reading either fiction or non-fiction is fine, but reading anime/cartoon books is not fine. Make sure he reads regularly during summers.

Agree that repeating a grade at the new school right after PCS would be good for him. He would be older, probably bigger, more mature, and it also would help with the inevitable social adjustment needed after a PCS. Stay on top of his academics even after the move, and reinforce where grades or teachers or other indicators suggest. Different school systems will have different curricula, even if both locations claim to be using “Common Core”, so it is very common to find 2-3 academic holes right after any PCS.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 09:10     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."

I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.

This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.

Another thought - since he’s above average in reading and average in math, he will be SO bored repeating 8th, which could lead to less interest/engagement and, especially for a boy with inattentive ADD, even worse grades.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 09:08     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?
Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."

I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.

This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.