DCUM Forum

Anonymous

09/21/2025 06:00 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Maybe colleges should be single sex if a problem. We used to have a lot of those. I dont see why men would behave much differently than when they were even.

How do the men not in college date if the college guys are wild and promiscuous? What are they doing while in trade school?

Anonymous

09/21/2025 05:55 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:Here is the article. I have boys and would not want this environment for them either. I have a friend whose son went to a 60/40 school and ended up transferring out. Sounded like a disproportionate share of the guys who were there were gay. This kid is not homophobic but we wanted at least a few straight male friends and it was slim pickings.

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/09/08/magazine/men-college-enrollment.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share&referringSource=articleShare

Why would there be more gay men than typical at a 60/40 college? Do you mean 60m/40w?

Anonymous

09/21/2025 05:52 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:"Asked out on dates"

Is she willing to do the asking?

+100 A guy asking out a girl can be considered a form of sexual harassment these days, or at least makes things very awkward if they're in the same circles (and if they're not, it's not too different from those PUAs who approach women on the street - gross)

Anonymous

09/21/2025 05:50 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Subtract guys who barely speak English (stem) and gay guys (non-stem) and the odds get even worse.
I was at one of these colleges and guys really played the field. Fun for them.

I used to live in San Francisco, same issue. Every schlubby guy I knew who wanted a girlfriend had one, and all the amazing, beautiful, accomplished women I knew were single. I saw the writing on the wall and left in my thirties.

I would think there would be a glut of accomplished, single male software engineers and similar?

Anonymous

09/21/2025 05:48 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:Specify which is 60% and which sex is 40%.

I don't know of any notable 60m/40w colleges

Anonymous

09/21/2025 03:39 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistical studies don't matter at the individual level.

Teach your daughter some attitudes and strategies that will allow her to identify available guys she is interested in. 40% will be enough.

I think young people have always focused too much on drinking parties and bars. It would be better to set up friend dates and coffees and such and warm people up from there. It's hard for girls to be the inviters, but strategically I think it could have many advantages.

Bless your heart. You don't know many college students, do you?

I do. The ones I know are more into thinking than drinking. Thanks for the blessing!

Anonymous

09/21/2025 03:01 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:"Asked out on dates"

Is she willing to do the asking?

I was going to say the same. Its not 1950.
I've been married over 20 years and I proposed to him...
So lady, some catching up is long over due

Anonymous

09/21/2025 02:37 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Statistical studies don't matter at the individual level.

Teach your daughter some attitudes and strategies that will allow her to identify available guys she is interested in. 40% will be enough.

I think young people have always focused too much on drinking parties and bars. It would be better to set up friend dates and coffees and such and warm people up from there. It's hard for girls to be the inviters, but strategically I think it could have many advantages.

Bless your heart. You don't know many college students, do you?

My DS actually had friend dates and went out for machas in HS. My guess is that he will continue to do it in college.

Anonymous

09/20/2025 23:03 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:College kids don’t date anymore. They hookup and have casual sex.

It was like that in the 90s also.

Anonymous

09/20/2025 23:02 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:Statistical studies don't matter at the individual level.

Teach your daughter some attitudes and strategies that will allow her to identify available guys she is interested in. 40% will be enough.

I think young people have always focused too much on drinking parties and bars. It would be better to set up friend dates and coffees and such and warm people up from there. It's hard for girls to be the inviters, but strategically I think it could have many advantages.

Bless your heart. You don't know many college students, do you?

Anonymous

09/20/2025 23:00 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following. I know this will be an issue DD cares about.

It's every college in America, so tell her to get ready.

Well, not the ones that are far closer to 50/50.

Anonymous

09/20/2025 21:17 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

College kids don’t date anymore. They hookup and have casual sex.

Anonymous

09/20/2025 20:58 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

I went to one like this - not in my favor. I had a serious bf for a year or so, and besides this went on many dates.

If you think about there’s more guys than girls, but it’s not like it’s 1-1 pairing all the time, then you know she’ll meet someone, won’t be left with zero dates the whole time.

Anonymous

09/20/2025 20:55 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Why is the San Francisco ratio skewed? I would have guessed it was disproportionately male.

Anonymous

09/20/2025 20:52 Subject: Dating at gender-lopsided universities

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think at least 10% of the college aged girls are gay or bi so I bet it’s not as much of an issue as you think.
The bigger issue is that most of the straight guys don’t really know how to ask girls out. The pressure on kids to get perfect grades and do EC in HS doesn’t really lead to a situation where kids have the free time to develop good dating confidence and skills.
My son has a girl friend and I actually think it’s a great experience for him to learn how to be a good boyfriend—-but his grades are not as good as the boys that don’t date.

Girls should be asking guys out now.

I agree with this, as a woman. It's a logical advance in gender equality.