Anonymous wrote:Soon enough your kid won't want to go to the summer house all summer anymore and you'll be SOL. Or, let him bring a friend he does want to hang out with for the weekend. You have to let them lead in middle school anyway.

This is more happening in our hometown. I am just making the point it’s not as easy just to totally fade away.

Soon enough your kid won't want to go to the summer house all summer anymore and you'll be SOL. Or, let him bring a friend he does want to hang out with for the weekend. You have to let them lead in middle school anyway.

Anonymous wrote:Did you family ever invite this kid over for a sleepover?

It's OK to have plans with two different friends at different times on the same day.

Yes we have.

Yes it is. and my son said the issue wasn’t that they were having a sleepover, it was them telling him about it knowing he’s not invited and then leaving together and arriving together when we had plans just to meet up with the one kid. I’m low key about that but would have appreciated a head ups she is bringing another child. My son just said he’s been taught it’s rude to talk about plans to people who weren’t invited and I agree.

Did you family ever invite this kid over for a sleepover?

It's OK to have plans with two different friends at different times on the same day.

She’s very rude but that won’t change because you “say something to her.” If things change and it starts to borrow your son then I’d decline invites otherwise if your son is okay just roll your eyes privately at her lack of manners.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t like that this other family is treating your kid like the “fall back option” when their son is transitioning between new besties.

Exactly, that’s the issue. And the mom showing up with the friend and talking about the sleepover in front of my son when he’s just as much friends with the other friend as well.

It’s just off putting. I also think it’s weird for a 9 year old to have conflict or falling outs with a close friend year after year like he’s having with the other friend, to the point where they aren’t friends at all after hanging out everyday for a year. We haven’t experienced that. I don’t love these social dynamics for kids this age.

I don’t like that this other family is treating your kid like the “fall back option” when their son is transitioning between new besties.

I don’t have anyone like this where kids go to the same school and have been family friends. I do have two teenage boys and they did not stay best friends since preschool or early elementary.

You are lucky they are still even in the same friend circle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't say anything, but she clearly wants to foster other friendships for her son that are not your son. You are lucky they have lasted as friends this long. It seems like she views your son as "less than".

Yes, exactly. Every time the friendship falls apart with his previous bff he comes back to my son. That’s the dynamic I don’t love and they are asking to do playdates again. He has many friends so it doesn’t impact him in any way but I wouldn’t want a friend like this myself so I don’t love it for my child.

Unless your son really likes this kid, then I'd say no sometimes when she asks for a playdate.

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like your son doesn’t have many other friends. Teach him to widen his circle. Invite some different friends of his to spend time with you at the summer house. Stay friendly with the original boy but he needs to have others besides the one boy he considered his “best friend”. Meanwhile, you need to step back.

I already said he does have many friends. He does not lack things to do, he sees multiple boys within walking distance almost daily and has a group of a dozen friends he gets together with regularly and chats with on messenger or his watch. Gets invited to 20 parties a year and mixes with many kids. Has a number he would call a best friend in addition to this child. The issue is more the mom being purposely unkind.

It sounds like your son doesn’t have many other friends. Teach him to widen his circle. Invite some different friends of his to spend time with you at the summer house. Stay friendly with the original boy but he needs to have others besides the one boy he considered his “best friend”. Meanwhile, you need to step back.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't say anything, but she clearly wants to foster other friendships for her son that are not your son. You are lucky they have lasted as friends this long. It seems like she views your son as "less than".

Yes, exactly. Every time the friendship falls apart with his previous bff he comes back to my son. That’s the dynamic I don’t love and they are asking to do playdates again. He has many friends so it doesn’t impact him in any way but I wouldn’t want a friend like this myself so I don’t love it for my child.

You are super close to all the playdate BS stopping. Just stay out of it. If your son asks for a playdate, arrange it. If they ask you for one and your son wants to do it and he is free, do it. And just keep talking to your own kid about friendship and what it should look and feel like. This friendship will fizzle out.

That’s the thing. I really don’t think it will fizzle out, as I said they play everyday and lunch and both probably consider each other one of their best friends. I don’t think it’s the kids doing. It seems like the mom tbh and it bothers me. ashe just seems to lack to social skills to see its rude to do some of things she does. If my kid is pointing it out, I think she’s crossed the line. It’s totally fine to bring another kid along and leave with them but in my circle it tends to be mentioned with a quick text “Hey bringing along George too!” But you’re probably right that this era is close to changing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, I wouldn't say anything, but she clearly wants to foster other friendships for her son that are not your son. You are lucky they have lasted as friends this long. It seems like she views your son as "less than".

Yes, exactly. Every time the friendship falls apart with his previous bff he comes back to my son. That’s the dynamic I don’t love and they are asking to do playdates again. He has many friends so it doesn’t impact him in any way but I wouldn’t want a friend like this myself so I don’t love it for my child.

You are super close to all the playdate BS stopping. Just stay out of it. If your son asks for a playdate, arrange it. If they ask you for one and your son wants to do it and he is free, do it. And just keep talking to your own kid about friendship and what it should look and feel like. This friendship will fizzle out.