Anonymous wrote:Go to her. no question.

+1. Yes. You are a wonderful sister. I went through a similarly bad time and I wish my sister had made the effort to visit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to have a conversation with your sister about this before you do this. Are you planning on staying with her, does she want an extra person under her roof or will that stress her out more? Your intentions are obviously coming from a good place but you need to discuss this with her.

Op here! I am not worried about this part, she is comfortable and close enough to tell me if its not a good idea and my initial response to staying longer has been positive. She would always have the final say and I wouldnt guilt her into anything. She lives about 50 min away from the hospital and they stay at a Ronald mcdonald house 3 days a week and then they come back home. Ive stayed at a hilton near her house or her house or the mcdonald house, it all depends and I am flexible and its the most unconcerning/easiest part of the logistics.

Is her husband in the picture? What is his response? I know that may sound rude, but even when you adore your inlaws during stressful times it can be exhausting to have various inlaws staying with you and "helping." He matters too.

I am going to go against the grain. Let your sister determine this. She needs to feel in control. Don't assume things. What you consider disassociating might be her dulled affect because she is may be on anti-anxiety meds. Also, you do need to think of your kids and what your husband can handle too and I would say the same thing if he were about to leave for a prolonged period of time.

You are helping. You do go out there. Just be careful of superhero complex. I have know several cases where people got caught up in this and it backfired. People will tell you go....follow your gut, you are such a saint! I say make this a decision with your husband and most importantly you respect your sister's wishes. Don't ever assume no means yes or I don't know means yes.

I know you have the best of intentions and that is wonderful. This is not as simple as some make it out to be. I say this as someone with a child who was quite ill and now we are just at the follow up point (much easier).

Please update OP

I would stay home.

I strongly believe in “gut” feelings OP.

Shortly before my Mother died years ago - - I was just randomly cleaning up my kid’s toys when I suddenly had a gut feeling…..coming from within.
At the time, I was young & just thought it was a figment of my imagination but shortly after that unfortunately my Mother did pass on. ❤️‍🩹

I wish I had acted on my gut feeling then ➕ went to visit my Mother…..

Go see your Sister.
She needs you now more than ever + likely does not want to burden you w/her emotional needs.
I am sorry for her child w/leukemia.

My family has always supported me like I have supported my family.

Go. Actually, wear a mask and go. Get your flu shot and go.

Be healthy. Go and help her with whatever she needs.

How far does your sister live?

Anonymous wrote:I would leave her be. It's not your place to interfere.

Maybe OP actually likes her sister. Ponder it. It is a possibility.

I would do it.

Go. It will mean the world to them.

You go. What kind of man is your husband that you're worried about resentment? Sounds like you have a pretty good life and have the means to hire a sitter if he needs help. No good person would resent their significant other for taking time away to help a family member in need

Anonymous wrote:Go for 2 weeks. A month seems too long and too burdensome on your own family

Why don’t you try for either 10 consecutive days over two weekends or two one week trips. Go once and get a sense for when it would make sense for you to go back and what she needs. Maybe she just needs you to show up every once in a while to laugh and cry together.

Anonymous wrote:I think a week may be the best, two at max. I hate to be so negative about this, but please consider in the back of your mind that if things take a turn for the worse, you may need to go back again for an additional week or two to offer support that she may really, really need then. You can always switch to a later flight once you get there if need be. But for now, with work and the disruption to your family, plan for a week

Yeah, this was my thought. If you take this much time now, you may not be able to later.

Does your sister need to have a weekend away? Being immersed in an illness that may kill someone is intense and when it's your child, even more so. Maybe she needs a break with you - a spa weekend of some sort?