Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We are not doing anything that restricts basic health needs such as sleep.

These clubs prey on family desperation and I have never given my money to them. Kids are now 20 and 15.

They aren't preying on desperation, they are preying on anxiety. Too many parents think a sport is necessary to get into college.

Did you mean to say too many parents think it's necessary to get a college SCHOLARSHIP? Or you really know a lot of parents who think getting into college at all requires playing a sport? Because a bunch of my siblings and I who all went to different colleges/universities all do various alumni activities with admitted prospects and playing a sport is nowhere near the majority of the ones we encounter at our different college recruitment events. But we DO know and meet a ton of families hoping their child playing a D1, D2 or D3 sport will get them scholarships to good or great colleges.

I don't know many parents who are hoping for a college scholarship. Most want to keep their kids busy with something they enjoy (other than screens). Having a team sport on your resume when you apply for college is just the icing on the cake, not their whole story. Are the volleyball (or other sports) clubs leeching on the parents? With some notable exceptions, they certainly do. Are the parents anxious or desperate? Likely not as much as the PP suggests.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We are not doing anything that restricts basic health needs such as sleep.

These clubs prey on family desperation and I have never given my money to them. Kids are now 20 and 15.

If you've never given any money to them (i.e. never played club volleyball), how are you so sure the clubs prey on family desperation? Seems like you made up your mind without any experience.

I've been around the block, PP. My oldest is in college. I've seen all sorts of kids doing all sorts of sports and hobbies. No one *needs* competitive teams for any sport. It's a choice. My personal opinion is that unless the kid is a night owl and has energy to burn at that time of the evening, it's bad parenting to give your heard-earned money to someone who will rob them of their evening sleep. Reverse that for early morning swim practice when the kid needs to get up at 4am. These people are not your friends. They're part of a leech industry of extra-curriculars who cater to well-off parents. It's very easy to get sucked into whatever extra-curricular your child is into. But unless your child lives and breathes that hobby, at some point families need to make choices for their own kid's wellbeing.

The thing is that a kid's self esteem is frequently tied up in that sport. They have nothing else going for them. They are mediocre students, they are not particularly popular or charming but they are reasonably good at playing a sport that costs a ton of money to participate in.

That is such a bizarre generalization to make. Kids' self esteem is tied up in a number of factors in their environment. It's not like sports becomes the make or break factor. And for a lot of kids, navigating a team sport and working together as a team can be (it's not always, but it usually can be) a really positive growth experience. Our DDs (3) each have very different personalities from each other, but they each really learned some invaluable lessons and developed some great friendships from playing volleyball, as well as gaining some self-esteem - NOT just from playing really well, but even more from learning how to process their feelings and then move on or self-adjust their mood and state of mind when they are NOT playing well or the team is doing badly as a whole. Also learning how to navigate the rough parts of team sports, like: favoritism; being punished for speaking out about something that doesn't seem right or fair; parental politics and how they affect the team culture; playing against mean girls on other teams; having mean girls on your own team. And so much more.

Especially our quietest girl, it wasn't an expectation but it was a joy to watch her evolve from someone who would almost burst into tears when she really messed up during games, to someone who learned how to shake it off, or if her team was great being surrounded by supportive girls (not always the case) but really watching her learn to shake it off, keep bringing her best, and still being ok after a bad game was amazing to witness.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We are not doing anything that restricts basic health needs such as sleep.

These clubs prey on family desperation and I have never given my money to them. Kids are now 20 and 15.

They aren't preying on desperation, they are preying on anxiety. Too many parents think a sport is necessary to get into college.

Did you mean to say too many parents think it's necessary to get a college SCHOLARSHIP? Or you really know a lot of parents who think getting into college at all requires playing a sport? Because a bunch of my siblings and I who all went to different colleges/universities all do various alumni activities with admitted prospects and playing a sport is nowhere near the majority of the ones we encounter at our different college recruitment events. But we DO know and meet a ton of families hoping their child playing a D1, D2 or D3 sport will get them scholarships to good or great colleges.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We are not doing anything that restricts basic health needs such as sleep.

These clubs prey on family desperation and I have never given my money to them. Kids are now 20 and 15.

If you've never given any money to them (i.e. never played club volleyball), how are you so sure the clubs prey on family desperation? Seems like you made up your mind without any experience.

I've been around the block, PP. My oldest is in college. I've seen all sorts of kids doing all sorts of sports and hobbies. No one *needs* competitive teams for any sport. It's a choice. My personal opinion is that unless the kid is a night owl and has energy to burn at that time of the evening, it's bad parenting to give your heard-earned money to someone who will rob them of their evening sleep. Reverse that for early morning swim practice when the kid needs to get up at 4am. These people are not your friends. They're part of a leech industry of extra-curriculars who cater to well-off parents. It's very easy to get sucked into whatever extra-curricular your child is into. But unless your child lives and breathes that hobby, at some point families need to make choices for their own kid's wellbeing.

The thing is that a kid's self esteem is frequently tied up in that sport. They have nothing else going for them. They are mediocre students, they are not particularly popular or charming but they are reasonably good at playing a sport that costs a ton of money to participate in.

I will disagree with this viewpoint. I am the PP who wrote "My DD is on the RMHS JV team. A lot of the players on that team (some on the varsity as well) are high achievers, with some in the IB program. They have been playing volleyball for years and they learned how to manage their time. Playing volleyball is not a guarantee that your DD would be able to manage her time or she would keep up her academics though. You probably know already whether playing volleyball with all the late practices and tournaments is a good idea for your DD. Follow your instincts."

That's not to say that everyone playing volleyball keeps up with their academics: we also know players who are not that good academically. But you cannot generalize either way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nope. We are not doing anything that restricts basic health needs such as sleep.

These clubs prey on family desperation and I have never given my money to them. Kids are now 20 and 15.

If you've never given any money to them (i.e. never played club volleyball), how are you so sure the clubs prey on family desperation? Seems like you made up your mind without any experience.

I've been around the block, PP. My oldest is in college. I've seen all sorts of kids doing all sorts of sports and hobbies. No one *needs* competitive teams for any sport. It's a choice. My personal opinion is that unless the kid is a night owl and has energy to burn at that time of the evening, it's bad parenting to give your heard-earned money to someone who will rob them of their evening sleep. Reverse that for early morning swim practice when the kid needs to get up at 4am. These people are not your friends. They're part of a leech industry of extra-curriculars who cater to well-off parents. It's very easy to get sucked into whatever extra-curricular your child is into. But unless your child lives and breathes that hobby, at some point families need to make choices for their own kid's wellbeing.

The thing is that a kid's self esteem is frequently tied up in that sport. They have nothing else going for them. They are mediocre students, they are not particularly popular or charming but they are reasonably good at playing a sport that costs a ton of money to participate in.

As others have said, volleyball is an extracurricular activity and your DD can choose to do it or not. My own DD played for a club that had 7:30-9:30 or 8-10pm practices from 16s-18s two or three nights a week and it was not a problem for her. She was a very successful student that took many AP and honors classes and got excellent grades. She would usually get her work finished before practice only occasionally having to stay up late after practice to do homework. That said, if volleyball is not a passion for your DD and the intent is just another activity for college applications it might not be worth it, particularly if time management is an issue.

For me, I preferred the later practices over the 5:30 or 6:00 practices she had in her younger years which were hard to manage with two working parents.