Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is this a need? (Health crisis, house burned down?) or is it a want? (Tournament fees, chemo for your dog?)

I’ll donate to anyone for the first, mostly just as a virtual hug since I don’t have skills to be more useful. But the latter? No way.

I did donate to someone whose house burned down. I'm the PP who would prob not donate to a super wealthy person unless they were a close and trusted friend.

My house burned down and I didn’t have a go fund me for my kids and I. Insurance handled things. I would have loved meals or help with rides while we were displaced for two years. That would have helped tremendously

I donated to keep a positive relationship but I thought it was in bad taste. My husband reminded me that we don’t know what each family is going through and appearances can be deceiving. Or they need the quick funds. He is less judgy than I am, literally my better half.

Anonymous wrote:Is this a need? (Health crisis, house burned down?) or is it a want? (Tournament fees, chemo for your dog?)

I’ll donate to anyone for the first, mostly just as a virtual hug since I don’t have skills to be more useful. But the latter? No way.

I did donate to someone whose house burned down. I'm the PP who would prob not donate to a super wealthy person unless they were a close and trusted friend.

Anonymous wrote:Is it a turnoff to you to be asked to donate? Do you do it anyway? Do you also give gifts of food/uber/door dash etc?

A little. I am a distant acquaintance with someone who is going through a lot. I'm not going to participate in sending gifts/money at this point in time. By their own admission, they are well off--probably more well off than I am as they were able to live in a costly area while working little to PT over the years. IIRC, they have a trust fund.

Maybe if I knew them better I would donate a little something.

I have a good friend with a trust fund and can't imagine she would ever put a gofundme out there. If she did, though, I probably contribute to it. But she never would.

I donate what I feel comfortable with when I know the person or know someone who knows them, but I only go one degree of separation. I recently donated to a single mom who lost a child. I don’t think many people have insurance for that.

Anonymous wrote:I think the problem is you don't what people's situations are when you dig below the surface. I know know professional families that do not have life insurance outside of small employer policies. Death of one parent could mean they have to sell their house or not be able to fund college. It boggles my mind.

People without adequate insurance who had adequate incomes made poor financial and planning decisions which should not redound to their friends and families to redress. That an employer provided no or insufficient life insurance as an employee benefit in no way prevented them from obtaining sensible and prudent coverage elsewhere.

Don't donate anything to them. Cash grab.

My neighbor in a HUGE million+ home had a go fund me for her husband's "memorial" held in their home. No service or food etc. Was weird ..not sure what we were supposed to fund.

I think the problem is you don't what people's situations are when you dig below the surface. I know know professional families that do not have life insurance outside of small employer policies. Death of one parent could mean they have to sell their house or not be able to fund college. It boggles my mind.

I never donate money. I'll gladly volunteer but not handing over money - likely someone pocketing it to buy a shiny object for themselves

I have no problem giving to kids collecting for expenses like a travel tournament or new uniforms. It’s not really any different from the neighbor kids coming by selling popcorn or wrapping paper for band uniforms. I would only give to the same kids who might stop by my house, not random kids I’ve never met. But, I don’t really need any overpriced popcorn or Girl Scout cookies. I will just give you the money.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t usually. I know a family who lives in a house twice the size of mine, drives luxury cars, and sends 3 kids to private schools. The mom wears and carries designer everything. They take vacations to Europe every summer. The mom was diagnosed with breast cancer- thankfully, very early stage, she had a lumpectomy and I believe a short course of radiation. Of course this is terrifying for her and I understand and appreciate that. However I do not understand nor do I appreciate the GoFundMe for 50k for “health care costs” when she does have good health insurance and doesn’t work so no lost income. By the way , she didn’t change her families lifestyle at all. Still took those vacations and got those new shoes.

This is beyond tacky.

Something similar happened in my family (not blood relatives), but just luxury cars for years, some international travel, Disney every month, and simply spending 24/7.
I didn't donate, my sister did, but to benefit her nephew. I also didn't expect them to do the gofundme.This is their 2nd gofundme for two deaths in the family. I have been trying to think why. They just think it's normal part of trying to get funeral costs covered.
They do not put shopping and not having money together. Those are completely separate things for them. They bring in a lot of money- there's 8 grownups working in the family making ca $100k each and 2 homes only that they got 10-20 years ago. There's was only one child they had to support.
Long story short, they don't know how to save, invest. The house and yard is full of knick-knack and yes, ASD runs in the family.
They all will work til 67. They know schooling, work, buy a house, and shop. Now they know gofundme. They are all around ages 40-50. Imagine if they had invested just a little bit since 2000.
They don't know retirement investing beyond what work does for them. One said that she 'goes blank' if I try to talk about numbers. One started to talk about some lady having nice clothes as she walked by as I tried to tell her how important maxing out Roth IRA was. One said that they want to pay off the house first. The house cost $300k in 2008 when they bought it. How the heck are they still paying for it with 4 living in it.
I cannot explain their thinking. It's like they drift away and make no connections to spending and not having money.
Unemployment has been a problem as they are very specialized and specific, but not all and not at the same time.
They just do what the other do and none of them invests.
One partner of one family member does invest, but the family is not interested at all. It's just not their thing. Their use their garage as a storage and 3 trips to the stores a day at minimum. They are so happy at the store, any store.
No idea how this came about and became a norm for all of them.

Anonymous wrote:No. I don’t give what you don’t want to give or what the family does not need. My neighbors collected money for another neighbor (well off people) where the wife was terminally ill with cancer. Did the family need that? Absolutely not.

I opted to help where they needed the help and I could be useful to them.

With all my cancer treatments and inability to work we were lucky with the support of our family with helping with small children and we didn’t need to worry about money. I would be mortified if someone put up one of those for me. If they could still pay their bills there should be no reason to ask strangers for money.

Anonymous wrote:I don’t usually. I know a family who lives in a house twice the size of mine, drives luxury cars, and sends 3 kids to private schools. The mom wears and carries designer everything. They take vacations to Europe every summer. The mom was diagnosed with breast cancer- thankfully, very early stage, she had a lumpectomy and I believe a short course of radiation. Of course this is terrifying for her and I understand and appreciate that. However I do not understand nor do I appreciate the GoFundMe for 50k for “health care costs” when she does have good health insurance and doesn’t work so no lost income. By the way , she didn’t change her families lifestyle at all. Still took those vacations and got those new shoes.

This is beyond tacky.

Anonymous wrote:Appearing ain’t being

What if they are a private school/country club family? We are neither.