Anonymous
08/27/2025 21:32
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Putting the money aside, your DH needs to leave or risk becoming stagnant and less and less marketable the longer he stays in the same job without growth. I think there are more long term risks in staying than going. He needs to make the leap.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 20:45
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Candidly you have to go for it or deal with the “what ifs” later. You can always evaluate later. The most important thing is it sounds like your partnership as a couple is strong and communication is solid. Roll with it and see what happens. I agree with a PP that said you could downshift - if you want - for a bit to adjust. A small mom and pop could never match and think about how resetting the comp baseline plays out for the job after this, after that one, etc.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 20:42
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
It's worth it assuming he sees no red flag before joining. If something emerges after he joins, he can try to reorient internally or stick it out for a year and use that higher salary to lateral into an equally (or better) paying job with improved conditions.
As others have said, there are real opportunities here to improve your financial resilience if that's your priority. Investing an extra $6k/month in the S&P500 over 10 years gives you roughly $1.2M. That's worthwhile.
As others have said, there are real opportunities here to improve your financial resilience if that's your priority. Investing an extra $6k/month in the S&P500 over 10 years gives you roughly $1.2M. That's worthwhile.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 20:40
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Is he continuing to expand the scope of his role and building new skills and networks at the mom and pop place? It can be easy to coast in jobs like that...the lifestyle is great but you may not be doing yourself any favors longterm. If things change at his current workplace (e.g. new owners), he could be sidelined or laid off. Depending on his age, it could be really difficult to find something else after staying at the same company for years and not building new skills and networks. The new job would definitely present risks, but there are also risks to staying where he is indefinitely!
No where else to go where he is. He would be stuck and that is one reason he did take the head hunter call. He knows. But it is hard to leave a well established lifestyle and comfort. I get his hesitation.
I do think he ends up taking it.
Leave. You’ll figure out the flex later. Big risk in complacency.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 20:39
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Why is flexibility even a concern? He gets job, after a few months of legit, you could quit, get rid of child care then no issues.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 20:26
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
OP here.
We’ve already agreed to change nothing with current budget. We definitely fear the lifestyle creep. We won’t. And I’m sure there is a dread of corporate layoff etc that will cause us to want to save more than we are now even.
All the pros and cons in this thread we’ve been over at length.
Just as easy as he can sell himself into staying we can sell ourselves to taking the new job.
And because of that I think it feels like the leap is worth it. It’s not a strong enough fear or concern in his (our) gut not to take it.
We’ve already agreed to change nothing with current budget. We definitely fear the lifestyle creep. We won’t. And I’m sure there is a dread of corporate layoff etc that will cause us to want to save more than we are now even.
All the pros and cons in this thread we’ve been over at length.
Just as easy as he can sell himself into staying we can sell ourselves to taking the new job.
And because of that I think it feels like the leap is worth it. It’s not a strong enough fear or concern in his (our) gut not to take it.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 18:52
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tbh that’s not that much of an increase if the new role requires much more of him. Careful stepping into big corporate role vs stable mom and pop.
Not the OP but had to comment.. maybe that is not a lot for you.. but for most people that is real money. After taxes it is ~$7k more a month. That is insanely real money.
Not everyone on DCUM is a millionaire.
That amount could mean earlier retirement or fully funded college/grad school. It's nothing to sneeze at.
Exactly. In 2-3 years, you could fully fund college for both kids (at a current $90K/year school) and just watch it grow. (less time if you already have college savings).
And definately more potential at the larger company for job advancement it seems.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 18:50
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tbh that’s not that much of an increase if the new role requires much more of him. Careful stepping into big corporate role vs stable mom and pop.
Not the OP but had to comment.. maybe that is not a lot for you.. but for most people that is real money. After taxes it is ~$7k more a month. That is insanely real money.
Not everyone on DCUM is a millionaire.
Yup!! Take 5-6K of that monthly and save. Allow yourself to spend 1-2K/month on a vacation/save for a renovation/extra help with the kids or the house since he might not be around quite as much.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 18:49
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Anonymous wrote:Take it but don't live like you did. Meaning save the money and avoid lifestyle creep for a few years.
Congrats!
+1
Yes, take it, and bank 90% of the increase after taxes. Don't allow lifestyle creep, but do save for/plan for some renovations or a nice vacation with the 10% extra. But keep lifestyle so you can return to the former if needed
Anonymous
08/27/2025 18:48
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
For this amount it’s worth a try, assuming his resume will be strong and he will have other options if he didn’t like it.
Remember what you value about your current life and don’t hesitate to scale back down if the $$ doesn’t feel worth it.
I have forgone relatively minor promotions to keep my current flexibility. But we are talking 10 percent bump, not 70.
Remember what you value about your current life and don’t hesitate to scale back down if the $$ doesn’t feel worth it.
I have forgone relatively minor promotions to keep my current flexibility. But we are talking 10 percent bump, not 70.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 18:46
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's the pay difference and total HHI at current job vs new job?
For me, I wouldnt give up flexibility and time with my kids for more money.
$275 HHI to $410 HHI
It is real change. We get the money is not everything. And agree. This feels different.
NP. I wouldn't take it. $275k is more than enough to meet any financial wants I have. No need to give up quality of life for more money when you're already doing that well.
275k is enough until owner decides to sell to PE. Then you can try your luck job hunting as current age + 8 years older.
The hold for most PEs are 3-5 years.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 18:28
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What's the pay difference and total HHI at current job vs new job?
For me, I wouldnt give up flexibility and time with my kids for more money.
$275 HHI to $410 HHI
It is real change. We get the money is not everything. And agree. This feels different.
NP. I wouldn't take it. $275k is more than enough to meet any financial wants I have. No need to give up quality of life for more money when you're already doing that well.
275k is enough until owner decides to sell to PE. Then you can try your luck job hunting as current age + 8 years older.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 17:48
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tbh that’s not that much of an increase if the new role requires much more of him. Careful stepping into big corporate role vs stable mom and pop.
Not the OP but had to comment.. maybe that is not a lot for you.. but for most people that is real money. After taxes it is ~$7k more a month. That is insanely real money.
Not everyone on DCUM is a millionaire.
Yes, it is real money. Agreed.
But if it requires significant more time it could not be worth it. They’re at an income level where they need to consider this. There isn’t going to much of the 7K leftover if lack of flexibility requires a FT nanny for example.
+1. It isn’t a lot if expenses will go up dramatically because he will no longer be able to pitch in the way he used to. I’d think carefully about this.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 17:40
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Tbh that’s not that much of an increase if the new role requires much more of him. Careful stepping into big corporate role vs stable mom and pop.
Not the OP but had to comment.. maybe that is not a lot for you.. but for most people that is real money. After taxes it is ~$7k more a month. That is insanely real money.
Not everyone on DCUM is a millionaire.
Yes, it is real money. Agreed.
But if it requires significant more time it could not be worth it. They’re at an income level where they need to consider this. There isn’t going to much of the 7K leftover if lack of flexibility requires a FT nanny for example.
Anonymous
08/27/2025 17:32
Subject: What salary increase is "insane" to say no to?
You do realize that for that amount of money, they are going to own his a##. The corporate politics will be way more intense and the folksiness of the mom and pop goes away. Some people are hard core corporate gunners who love the game. Which is he?