Gee, do you never want to socialize with people who might drink? Drink some? Drink a little? There will be a range. You go, and socialize. Some will drink too much.

To view the event as only about alcohol - is an immature, self defeating approach. Limiting one's social experience based on alcohol being present is ridiculous.

Go. Hold an empty glass. Drink water. Whatever..

Anonymous wrote:If your college kid has to ask his mommy how to make friends with kids who don't drink he has bigger problems.

PP seems immature.

Meanwhile, in the real world, mature young adults seek input from parents who have BTDT about all kinds of things. I wish I had talked with adults who had experience maturely socializing without being drunk - I’d have spent a lot less time drinking in college.

My kid asks his mom and I all kinds of question about stuff that we have decades of experience with that it would never have occurred to me to ask adults. An example is how to format a resume — college career center has ideas, and there’s stuff online, but his mom and I have both reviewed thousand of resumes for folks we’ve hired, so we have good feedback.

You still attend the drinking events

You stand and sip. Sip whatever, non alcoholic if you want. No one cares.

Be social

Anonymous wrote:My DS has noted that all the social events for incoming freshmen have revolved around drinking. He’s not really into that (yet). He’s wondering how to meet other guys who aren’t into it.

Don’t say “the Mormons” because we’re not Mormons. 😃

He's lying. He isn't going to the official events put on by the school. No college is serving underage students. He's talking about going to parties and bars.

If he went to the normal events, he'd meet people who weren't into drinking.

Anonymous wrote:Singing club? You can't sing when you are drunk. Same for dancing club.

Anything related to healthy lifestyles, hiking, rockclimbing.

I do my best singing and dancing when drunk.

Anonymous wrote:My DS (current senior) is really hoping to avoid a school where drinking is the only social outlet. What school, OP?

That's what they all say to their mommies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

all the social events for incoming freshmen have revolved around drinking.

For? You mean put on by the college?

No by other students, upperclassmen, etc.

What school is this? It hasn’t been my freshman’s experience at all.

If your college kid has to ask his mommy how to make friends with kids who don't drink he has bigger problems.

Anonymous wrote:Alcohol culture is pervasive in our country. Pps are not concerned whatsoever about minors drinking/being drunk/not fitting in due to not drinking. It's sad, really, and sets these kids up for a lifetime of alcohol dependence for social and professional life.

💯

Anonymous wrote:My DS has noted that all the social events for incoming freshmen have revolved around drinking. He’s not really into that (yet). He’s wondering how to meet other guys who aren’t into it.

Don’t say “the Mormons” because we’re not Mormons. 😃

My DC joined a national service fraternity - they do projects several times a week - including one on Saturday mornings at 8:00am. No one wants to be out late drinking on a Friday night if they're getting up to do manual labor the following morning. It has been a great way for DC to meet people and bond.

Anonymous wrote:I didn't drink in college. I'd still go to parties and just leave before things got too sloppy. You don't want to stay and end up taking care of drunks.

I would often go to a series of parties on a Friday or Saturday night with staggered start times (happy hours-->late night frat parties), leaving each after a couple of hours when people started being more drunk. I ended up with many different friends groups because of this party hopping. It ended up getting me voted in as class president. No one ever cared that I wasn't drunk as I was there to socialize and have fun too.

+1. This was me. I have taught my kids to fill a solo cup with water and people will leave you alone to have a good time. My son is at JMU and says it works. He just leaves parties by midnight. It is probably harder for introverts though.

I didn't drink in college. I'd still go to parties and just leave before things got too sloppy. You don't want to stay and end up taking care of drunks.

I would often go to a series of parties on a Friday or Saturday night with staggered start times (happy hours-->late night frat parties), leaving each after a couple of hours when people started being more drunk. I ended up with many different friends groups because of this party hopping. It ended up getting me voted in as class president. No one ever cared that I wasn't drunk as I was there to socialize and have fun too.

Tell the kid to have a drink and relax.

Alcohol culture is pervasive in our country. Pps are not concerned whatsoever about minors drinking/being drunk/not fitting in due to not drinking. It's sad, really, and sets these kids up for a lifetime of alcohol dependence for social and professional life.

Anonymous wrote:My DS (current senior) is really hoping to avoid a school where drinking is the only social outlet. What school, OP?

All schools are a mix. How long it takes to “find your people” varies widely, mostly depending on roommate compatibility and luck of the draw with hallmates or suite mates.

Sometimes a kid quickly meets friends like himself. Sometimes it takes more time and intentional effort.

Teach your kid to stay positive and keep putting himself out there by doing activities he enjoys. Wherever he goes, he’ll find his people.