Anonymous wrote:Is there no flexibility with move-in day given it's a sorority house? She can't do it on a weekend when you and dh arent tied to work commitments?

DP: most college kids after freshman year are capable of driving 8 hours (get up and leave by 8 am) and finding friends to help them load/unload their car and go to storage and retrieve their items. Sure, it would be nice to have someone along for the ride, but definately not a requirement. Many 19 yo have had their license for 3-4 full years. And as long as they are experienced with highway driving, you have to let them learn to adult at some point.

Anonymous wrote:OP - thanks all. I think this is a social media induced guilt, parents setting up the rooms every year! But my daughter is pretty mature and independent, she can totally handle it and will probably be proud of herself when it's done.

Even when we take our kids there is no setting up the room. We drop off the boxes then they want us gone. Both girls. Social media is full of bored moms with nothing else to do.

We do because it’s a cross country flight and requires a hotel stay the night before move in and you can’t get a hotel if you’re under 21 (in general). Only one parent goes. The kid that was within driving distance moved herself in every year since Sophomore year.

Anonymous wrote:Is there no flexibility with move-in day given it's a sorority house? She can't do it on a weekend when you and dh arent tied to work commitments?

OP - They were given move-in slots in thirty minute increments on weekdays six months ago (Michigan) and she is waaaaaay more interested in Welcome Week festivities than in us being there!

Anonymous wrote:OP - thanks all. I think this is a social media induced guilt, parents setting up the rooms every year! But my daughter is pretty mature and independent, she can totally handle it and will probably be proud of herself when it's done.

+1. My son is going into his junior year and we can’t go along with him this time. He’s 100% fine without us going and very independent, but it’s me who is bummed.

Is there no flexibility with move-in day given it's a sorority house? She can't do it on a weekend when you and dh arent tied to work commitments?

Our kid is driving herself (junior year). No guilt as she’s totally happy to do it on her own.

We flew with our kid the first year, then sent alone on the plane for subsequent years.

PP here. I will note DC is flying, not driving which could make a difference.

Not going this year. DC ready to get back to school and friends and is fine with not having us along - sadly!

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Anonymous wrote:Is she allowed to park her car on campus all year? Did she drive herself before, when a parent accompanied her?

This would not work for my kid with severe ADHD, but if your kid is very functional and organized, and has already driven the route... then perhaps, yes.

OP - yes and yes, and appreciate that this is a kid-specific decision. Sorority has free parking(!) and we have done this drive as a family several times, weather looking good.

OK, then it looks like she can handle herself. To me this is not a "setting up room" issue (couldn't care less about that), it's a driving safety issue.

And most 19yo are capable of driving 8 hours by themselves safely. If not, they should not be having a car at college, IMO

It's not a great idea for any driver of any age to drive solo 8 hours straight. I wouldn't let my fairly new teen driver do it alone.

DP: My 19yo is not a "new driver". they started driving at 15 (must have at least 6 months with permit but can start at 15 and cannot get DL until 16). They had their license for 3.5 years when they started sophomore year of college.

So while I'd prefer someone be in the car with them for longer trips, I'm not tagging along for an 8 hour trip back to college (I would for a 2-3K mile trip or would require them to have a friend with them for that long)

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Anonymous wrote:Is she allowed to park her car on campus all year? Did she drive herself before, when a parent accompanied her?

This would not work for my kid with severe ADHD, but if your kid is very functional and organized, and has already driven the route... then perhaps, yes.

Well if your kid has severe ADHD, you likely are not letting them take a car sophomore year to a university that is an 8 hour drive from home. That combo simply doesn't work for most.

My kid with mild ADHD didn't take a car until senior year

My kid with ADHD took a car to a school 8 hours away, what is up with a car being there and being ADHD.

I think an eight hour drive is a lot to do alone -- I wouldn't want to do it myself -- but I think your DD should be able to find someone local who might drive with her.

But we don't do long drives in our family, so maybe that's just me.