Anonymous wrote:The male ego is dangerous with no counterbalance. They can have and do anything. They know this. Most guys who reach that level of income/wealth get there due to some combination of charm, cleverness, and perhaps some narcissism/manipulation.

Completely agree with this. Same thing happening with my DH that has reached C-suite / 350k+ income.

I'm a woman and I can tell I also made this switch after I became wealthier than most of the men I dated.

Most of it is that I want someone at my same level - attractive, with money, etc. If they make significantly less than me, they need to bring other things to the table to make up for it.

I know everyone says "but what about true love?" and honestly there needs to be *something* about you to love. More than just being a good person, being a good person is the bare minimum.

It's also wildly unattractive to have someone pursue you mostly because of your money. OP, are you willing to date men who make less than you? Because if you're not, why should your ex?

Anonymous wrote:The problem is that some of the professions that make good money tend to be the ones that draw a-holes or create them via their training methods and what you have to do to get to the top. I'm thinking finance (which both draws and creates a-holes through the culture and training methods) and medicine (where surgeons are encouraged to develop God complexed).

Yes, investment banking is a well known niche where a...es prosper. I heard it even from multiple men who left the Wall Street for other sectors. Bulling, extremely toxic employment cultures are rampant in finance sector between higher positioned men and new male interns. Then these interns learn these behavioral patterns that make you climb up the financial and career ladder, and then apply the same norms of behavior (or even worse) with women.


Highly paid doctors are also "god kissed" in their mind

Anonymous wrote:I think there is a certain kind of mask required in the workplace when making high 6 figures. That personality performance at work can carry into home life. It's hard to come home and be your relaxed self all of a sudden then go to work the next day and be that masked guy again.
I suppose if you own your own business it can be easier to just be yourself. But when working for others, you have to project the person who entitled to a mid to high 6 figure salary.

This. My DH is not an ahole, but is paid to be aggressive by his clients. It can be hard to switch it off at home right, especially with emails/expectation that’s he’s always available.

The problem is that some of the professions that make good money tend to be the ones that draw a-holes or create them via their training methods and what you have to do to get to the top. I'm thinking finance (which both draws and creates a-holes through the culture and training methods) and medicine (where surgeons are encouraged to develop God complexed).

The ones who are both rich and nice got locked down early by their college or grad school girlfriends. This is pretty much my entire social circle.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have more choices and can do what they want. They will sport bang you until they find the right woman to marry or you annoy them enough.

Yes and no. Rich men have a large choice of gold diggers but they are smart enough to sniff it from afar. They must not have a very large choice of well-off independent and pretty women. I'm not OP, and I had 2 long term relationships with uber rich men post divorce in my 40s.

They got what they wanted from you and threw you out.

Don't be jealous or smug. My relationships with poor men didn't last beyond 2 months due to lifestyle differences, so at least dating rich is more long term. Nobody threw anyone, these were clean breakups because of different values and the men being very set in their ways

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Because they have more choices and can do what they want. They will sport bang you until they find the right woman to marry or you annoy them enough.

Yes and no. Rich men have a large choice of gold diggers but they are smart enough to sniff it from afar. They must not have a very large choice of well-off independent and pretty women. I'm not OP, and I had 2 long term relationships with uber rich men post divorce in my 40s.

They got what they wanted from you and threw you out.

Anonymous wrote:It’s you OP. You felt compelled to share your income and net worth as if we care. It shows that you do though.

OP. I shared it bc if I didn’t, the post would immediately be derailed by people calling me a good digger and telling me to make my own money, which I already do.

Anonymous wrote:Because they have more choices and can do what they want. They will sport bang you until they find the right woman to marry or you annoy them enough.

Yes and no. Rich men have a large choice of gold diggers but they are smart enough to sniff it from afar. They must not have a very large choice of well-off independent and pretty women. I'm not OP, and I had 2 long term relationships with uber rich men post divorce in my 40s.

It's because wealthy men value money and power the most. They are wealth because their own career, success, wealth was at the core of their values. They never really valued relationships or people. It's a different breed where women exist simply to meet their needs.

I'm similar to OP and dealt with this issue with my own exH when he started making really big money, and many similar men on dating apps.

Contrary to common beliefs, rich guys are not in large deficit and it's easy to meet them, particular when the woman is pretty. It's the "middle" guy who makes 250-450K and has no large obligations, and good personal qualities to work on relationship - these guys are snapped up fast

Because they have more choices and can do what they want. They will sport bang you until they find the right woman to marry or you annoy them enough.

I am dating a wealthy man for the first time in my life and we discussed this concept recently. He thinks it's because when someone has money they rarely hear the word 'no' and develop a warped sense of reality about how to treat other people.

Anonymous wrote:Money feeds the ego. I watched my ex's personality change (or perhaps he just grew into the a$$hole he always was) as he become more financially successful. I don't think all guys who make money are awful but they have to know how to appreciate the money and not just use it as a power/ego flex.

I see it as the Trumpian model: “because I have money, most rules don’t apply to me.” But clearly not everyone does this.

People who value themselves and others can recognize this as a power trip.

Anonymous wrote:OP it sounds like you just can't handle strong independent men

That’s what I think too. They aren’t all jerks. They don’t kick puppies or anything. (Maybe some of them do, but not all). They just aren’t the kind of guy you are looking for.