Anonymous
Post 07/22/2025 12:39     Subject: Advice regarding a senior's caretaker and off the books care?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t do it.

Remember

Most people don’t have good values. They’re scammers.


I would disagree that “most” people are scammers.

I wouldn’t report the caregiver.
She would likely get fired & it would be tough for her to find other work.
It would be unfair to ruin someone’s entire livelihood just because they requested for some work to be under the table.

Since your Mother seems to really like this person - - that speaks volumes.
You cannot put a price tag on a great fit!

If you report this caregiver, you may find yourself at square one again.

And just because she is asking for some hours off the books does not mean she is a scam artist.
Maybe she is just financially struggling to pay her bills or feed her family?
Such is life.


If this caregiver was truly an honest and good employee, they wouldn’t make the mistake of risking their job and offering to break contract. Clearly her job means nothing to them.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2025 12:36     Subject: Advice regarding a senior's caretaker and off the books care?
Anonymous wrote:Keep her on the books. Use the agency bonding, licensing, insurance. Tell her you are in charge of finances.
Give her occasional gifts based on good service and integrity. You can give someone quite a bit without gift tax.


This. Are you allowed to give cash tips? If not I assume you can give gift cards? Ask her where she wants gift cards to. Yes it seems more expensive keeping things legal, but the risks you take doing it under the table are not worth it IMO. A lawsuit is expensive and it's not easy to recover stolen money. Shower her with praise if you think she is legit good, but keep tabs. This phase sucks, but it doesn't last forever.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2025 10:20     Subject: Advice regarding a senior's caretaker and off the books care?
Keep her on the books. Use the agency bonding, licensing, insurance. Tell her you are in charge of finances.
Give her occasional gifts based on good service and integrity. You can give someone quite a bit without gift tax.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2025 09:45     Subject: Advice regarding a senior's caretaker and off the books care?
Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t do it.

Remember

Most people don’t have good values. They’re scammers.


I would disagree that “most” people are scammers.

I wouldn’t report the caregiver.
She would likely get fired & it would be tough for her to find other work.
It would be unfair to ruin someone’s entire livelihood just because they requested for some work to be under the table.

Since your Mother seems to really like this person - - that speaks volumes.
You cannot put a price tag on a great fit!

If you report this caregiver, you may find yourself at square one again.

And just because she is asking for some hours off the books does not mean she is a scam artist.
Maybe she is just financially struggling to pay her bills or feed her family?
Such is life.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 07:32     Subject: Advice regarding a senior's caretaker and off the books care?
I wouldn’t do it.

Remember

Most people don’t have good values. They’re scammers.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 07:22     Subject: Advice regarding a senior's caretaker and off the books care?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’d turn them in. This is your first clue that caregiver is sneaky, and if you don’t put an end to it, your mother will be exploited.
Run to the agency now.


So punitive and short-sighted. I bet you want all the foreigners out as well, in the most cruelest of ways, regardless of whether they've illegal or not.


I’m not sure what this has to do with “foreigners”?
My parent has been the victim of exploitation twice, by caregivers from 2 different agencies, with the common denominator being that they approached and offered to work “off the books”. Red flag.
My parent has lost over $100,000 to these people and one is in jail. No hope of getting that back.
Just trying to help others avoid the same fate.
Anonymous
Post 07/19/2025 07:03     Subject: Advice regarding a senior's caretaker and off the books care?
It can be so difficult to find the right caregiver. I’d be concerned you won’t be able to find someone else as good or that your mom connects with.