Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 11:00     Subject: Re:What it means to be a woman or a man
My trans daughter isn't particularly girly but she wasn't particularly boyish, either. She knows she isn't "they" or "asexual" though, she feels she is female, so she's taking female hormones and male hormone blockers and legally changed her gender and name. She's happier than she was before. I don't see why anyone else cares, really. I don't see how it makes any difference to anyone else what her name is or how she identifies or which bathroom she uses.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 10:40     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Being a woman really cannot be defined.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 08:18     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:No idea. I'm 58, female, and have never felt girly. If I were a teen today, with all the open discussion and the variety of genders, I might feel agender. I have no strong gender identification at all. I'm just me.

But I have female friends who feel girly to their cores. There is no question for them. My son feels super masculine. No question for him either. I marvel at how people feel this so deeply.

And for that reason, whatever gender you identify with is cool with me.


57 yo female here.

Ditto!

Sometime the expectation to dress “girly” bothers me, it definitely bothered me as a young person.

There are more choices now. I’m guessing I’m a “they” but there was no knowledge of that growing up.


I'm 37, I'm not as much traditionally girly, but I don't view that personally as me being less of a "her", my version of being a woman is just as legitimate as some extremely feminine expression of being a woman.

But I acknowledge that's also my view and my choice and I don't discount anyone who feels differently. Just asserting that I don't think I have to conform to whatever little box they sort stereotypes into for me to be a woman.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 08:11     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:No idea. I'm 58, female, and have never felt girly. If I were a teen today, with all the open discussion and the variety of genders, I might feel agender. I have no strong gender identification at all. I'm just me.

But I have female friends who feel girly to their cores. There is no question for them. My son feels super masculine. No question for him either. I marvel at how people feel this so deeply.

And for that reason, whatever gender you identify with is cool with me.


57 yo female here.

Ditto!

Sometime the expectation to dress “girly” bothers me, it definitely bothered me as a young person.

There are more choices now. I’m guessing I’m a “they” but there was no knowledge of that growing up.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 07:32     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It means on a genetic level, whether you are x or xy, which practically determines your hormones and brain. There are exceptions such as xxy but not in a statistically significant way.


There are more intersex people than redheads, so I'm not sure where you're drawing the line foe "statistically significant," which is a strange basis for deciding how to treat people in any case.


This, I took genetics in college and you lwarn pretty quickly the XX/XY distinction isn't always that clean.

Male and female isn't also man and woman. Sex isn't gender, gender expression doesn't have to match either. Just let people be themselves. I don't see how it's skin off anyone's nose.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 07:26     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:It means on a genetic level, whether you are x or xy, which practically determines your hormones and brain. There are exceptions such as xxy but not in a statistically significant way.


There are more intersex people than redheads, so I'm not sure where you're drawing the line foe "statistically significant," which is a strange basis for deciding how to treat people in any case.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 06:57     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:My trans daughter wore her sister’s dresses as soon as she could dress herself. She secretly applied makeup by the time she was 10. She tried hard to conform to biological gender norms in middle and high school, playing football, dating girls, etc. She came out to us in college and began medically transitioning shortly thereafter. She is a smart person and knows she is not a biological woman. She understands chromosomes. But her whole life she’s known that her true desire is to present as a feminine gender. And that is a completely different thing than her sexual preferences.

For my trans daughter, it’s about the outside matching the inside, and she just could not tolerate presenting to the world (and being treated as) a male person. Hope this helps someone.


Is she HSTS or AGP?
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 02:50     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:My trans daughter wore her sister’s dresses as soon as she could dress herself. She secretly applied makeup by the time she was 10. She tried hard to conform to biological gender norms in middle and high school, playing football, dating girls, etc. She came out to us in college and began medically transitioning shortly thereafter. She is a smart person and knows she is not a biological woman. She understands chromosomes. But her whole life she’s known that her true desire is to present as a feminine gender. And that is a completely different thing than her sexual preferences.

For my trans daughter, it’s about the outside matching the inside, and she just could not tolerate presenting to the world (and being treated as) a male person. Hope this helps someone.


There are many gay men, cross dressers, drag queens, autogynephiles etc who are all men into dresses and make up. And many women who don’t ever wear dresses and have never worn make up. A boy can like dresses or make up or pink and a girl can like cars and pants and blue. It means nothing.
Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 02:24     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Sex is determined at the time of conception. It is biological and is determined by what chromosomes are in the sperm. That determines whether one is male or female.

Gender is a social construct about what it means to be a boy or girl or a man or a woman. No one really knows what this is anymore as everyone defines it for themselves. There is no shared definition or understanding and no shared experience.

Anonymous
Post 07/10/2025 02:18     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
No idea. I'm 58, female, and have never felt girly. If I were a teen today, with all the open discussion and the variety of genders, I might feel agender. I have no strong gender identification at all. I'm just me.

But I have female friends who feel girly to their cores. There is no question for them. My son feels super masculine. No question for him either. I marvel at how people feel this so deeply.

And for that reason, whatever gender you identify with is cool with me.
Anonymous
Post 07/09/2025 09:19     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:A woman can be anywhere from frilly dress and lipstick to steel toe boots and power tools.
So can a man.

Literally the only thing that defines a man or woman is biology. Everything else is a construct.

I believe there are some biological aspects of being a man or woman that translate into roles like “mother” and “father”. But there is no one correct way to be a mother or a father. I do think mothers and fathers tend to provide different things and kids need both.


Well, biology informs behavior a lot more than certain people currently believe.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2025 22:11     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:Follow up to a above - it is financially convenient that he became a woman after his career was over.


THIS
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2025 19:46     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think it doesn't matter. Meet people where they are.


This is how I feel and what I teach my kids. I tell them how it usually goes and I tell them that we take other people at their word. If you feel like you do t fit the mold, it’s not our business to argue the point.


This. It doesn't cost you to be kind.

I have a friend who is trans and honestly the most important thing that happened around my friend transitioning was that he went from being suicidal to being not suicidal. More than anything I just want my friend to be happy.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2025 19:39     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
Anonymous wrote:Being a woman is knowing what it means to be oppressed.


This! John Lennon wrote in 1972 that "woman is the ni....r of the world"!
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2025 18:14     Subject: What it means to be a woman or a man
All comes down to one simple test. Can you write your name in the snow. If yes you are a man.