I am 53 years old and am 5'11". I love my height, but I admit that I had several things that went in my favor:
- I never had a big growth spurt, so I wasn't taller than all of the boys in middle school and High school. I just grew slowly and steadily through age 19.
- I have a very slender build, and I have maintained that slender build throughout the years. The world likes tall, slender women (and is sometimes very hard on tall, overweight women).

I would suggest a few things for your daughter:
- She needs to know her exact height. Is she 5'11" or 6'1" or in between. It isn't hard... stand up straight against a wall, ruler on head, mark spot, and use a measuring tape. Remeasure in several spots until you come to consensus. I have had so many men over the years come up and say something slightly critical like "wow, you're too tall, you must be over 6'4 because I'm 6'1"." I knew my exact height so I could smile and say "nope, I'm only 5'11"" and feel very confident that I had the upper hand. It seems like such a minor thing, but I guarantee that it will make her feel better to know.
- Does she have any interest in playing sports. If so, that is a huge, huge confidence booster. Plus, it's a great way to meet people who value height, which will be helpful to her mindset.

Good luck to her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following. I have a 5’9” 14 year old who just got her period. My sister in law is a little over six feet. I think it’s very hard for dating but also very fashionable. That’s a positive thing about the present regime: they appreciate tall women.

I feel like it’s the opposite , the 90s- early 2000s loved tall woman . Nowadays men like short petite woman or short curvy woman .

I mean the folks running the country.

Right? Melania and Ivanka are unapologetically tall women.

...unapologetically tall beautiful and well-dressed women.

My tall daughter found a lovely woman to marry, and she didn't even play basketball.

Anonymous wrote:She’s not your baby girl you can start by treating her like an adult.

especially at her size

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Following. I’m 5’4” and my 14 year old is 5’7” and hasn’t had her period yet but hopefully soon. She is already starting to get anxious about this topic. She has “big” feet too.

5’7 is not tall , and by 14 most woman don’t grow lol .

She has not had her period yet so she likely has more growing to do.

Anonymous wrote:In high school I (tall female) remember complaining to my (short female) friend that I wish I was shorter/cute like her. Her response: it may look cute to be short now but middle age short women are not cute. Tall is where it’s at! She really cared about my self esteem and this always stuck with me when I felt self-conscious about my height. I know this seems like it pits tall women against short women, but since it was said to me by a friend, I’ve thought back on it from time to time!

I'm tall and my mother said some equivalent of this to me without explicitly bagging on short women. She would say you'll be grateful when you're older.

She was right. Most women 5-4 and under look pretty dumpy by middle age. Yes, there are exceptions.

As a very petite woman who has the opposite height, but same problem, you just have to learn to love yourself. When your height is an outlier, you need to lean into it being part of your personality. Everyone is always going to refer to me as the short woman or the petite woman when describing me to a stranger. People do the same for tall women: "Larla is the tall woman over there in blue."

Your daughter has to lean into being tall and think of all the reasons it's great. Models are tall, she can eat a lot more food than short people (as a short person I am very jealous of how much taller people eat. Gaining 5lbs looks the same as a tall person gaining 20), tall people are considered more graceful and willowy.

In high school I (tall female) remember complaining to my (short female) friend that I wish I was shorter/cute like her. Her response: it may look cute to be short now but middle age short women are not cute. Tall is where it’s at! She really cared about my self esteem and this always stuck with me when I felt self-conscious about my height. I know this seems like it pits tall women against short women, but since it was said to me by a friend, I’ve thought back on it from time to time!

I'm just under 6 feet and get it. I felt similarly as a teen, but did grow into it, so to speak. Part of it was that boys eventually grew too (the difference was greatest in middle school but by college wasn't as dramatic), part of it was learning to appreciate the benefits (sports, weight distribution, etc.), part of it was just gaining self confidence and comfort with being who you are. Hopefully she'll turn the corner soon in terms of viewing it as a positive!

She’s not your baby girl you can start by treating her like an adult.

Nothing she can change so why bother to dwell on it?

Anonymous wrote:Volleyball is a great confidence booster for tall girls

I was hesitant to give this advice because it does not need more competition but it’s so true. My daughter is short and has been training hard for years. She sees tall girls come in every year with no experience and get picked up at tryouts over her and others.

Besides that, the sport is a lot of fun and a great community if you don’t take it too seriously. Your daughter’s will be surrounded by very tall people.

Anonymous wrote:OP how much time per day is she spending on social media? What platforms? Does she (or do you) track this on her devices?

At age 17, she should be moving towards self-regulation, to be ready for moving away to college. But without self-awareness about how she's being influenced, she can't start down this road.

I am a size outlier and based on my experience, I think your DD has a valid point about how not all clothing works for her. But until you get a handle on her social media, you'll be fighting an uphill battle.

This. The social media influence on self esteem is documented by research and should be your main focus.

5’11 here - make sure she works on her posture. Sports are important for girls to build confidence. It’s great being tall, I feel less vulnerable than some of my shorter friends and do more things as a result like backpack Europe by myself (and make friends in hostels). I think it helped having a tall mom who embraced her height and acted like a warrior woman - so maybe some mentor figures whether they are known or positive influencers/celebrities. Around boys it can be tough, I did feel more masculine as a result of my height so being thin helped (no eating disorder or anything, just genetics) and I’d argue dating is harder because the pool of men your height or taller are much smaller and I never could get over being taller than my partner despite trying (lots of men really are intimidated by tall women).

Also yoga helped me have better posture and feel less gangly overall with better body awareness