Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professional and marriage minded.

I am clueless. Please help!

Date men in their 40s to 50s who want those things.

if you date in your 30s or younger, the guys will see you as expendable and not commit as much.

An older man will cherish you much more than someone your age, as he knows he'd be a fool to get rid of you.

You mean someone like a divorced dad in his late 40s with kids who has to pay alimony, failed at marriage, co parent and has lots of baggage?

Hate it when people say things like the above, as if the only thing she stands to offer is her age and that's her only value, and therefore she has to date someone much older. Go for a quality man around your own age, you don't need to settle.

That guy in his 30s isn't going to be as ready for marriage and kids as you are.

The vast majority of men have kids in their 30s!!! And get married.

And the vast majority get divorced when they marry before their mid 30s.

Most men simply are not mature enough for marriage until their 40s now. That's a simple fact of the state of the world.

So women must date around 15 years older than themselves.

Women in their 30s need to set realistic expectations and "settle" if they want a family and lasting marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professional and marriage minded.

I am clueless. Please help!

Date men in their 40s to 50s who want those things.

if you date in your 30s or younger, the guys will see you as expendable and not commit as much.

An older man will cherish you much more than someone your age, as he knows he'd be a fool to get rid of you.

You mean someone like a divorced dad in his late 40s with kids who has to pay alimony, failed at marriage, co parent and has lots of baggage?

If that's what YOU want, but there are plenty of men in their 40s and older who either have no kids but want them, or have grown kids who have moved off and would like to start again.

See, men get to do that. Women unfortunately have an expiration date.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professional and marriage minded.

I am clueless. Please help!

Date men in their 40s to 50s who want those things.

if you date in your 30s or younger, the guys will see you as expendable and not commit as much.

An older man will cherish you much more than someone your age, as he knows he'd be a fool to get rid of you.

You mean someone like a divorced dad in his late 40s with kids who has to pay alimony, failed at marriage, co parent and has lots of baggage?

Hate it when people say things like the above, as if the only thing she stands to offer is her age and that's her only value, and therefore she has to date someone much older. Go for a quality man around your own age, you don't need to settle.

That guy in his 30s isn't going to be as ready for marriage and kids as you are.

The vast majority of men have kids in their 30s!!! And get married.

Is this true today?

Do the majority of men in the us aged 30-39 have children?

Using 5 year cohort - 55% of men age 30-34 have at least one kid and that increases to 72% for age 35-39. So I would say that PP is correct - “the vast majority” of men in their 30s have at least one.

Its tough out there after 30. Women need to understand this reality. Just like its risky to marry at 19, its also risky to not marry by 29. Yes, there are exceptions but why play against the odd, unless you've a valid reason to do so which majority doesn't. Majority is just playing the field and hoping to snatch someone out of their league.

Now, this advice is only for women who want to get married, have kids and have a balanced life, not for highly ambitious who are fine not marrying or dealing with infertility. They should focus on career as your late 20's and early 30's are crucial to get ahead in your field.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professional and marriage minded.

I am clueless. Please help!

You are at your PRIME! Literally anywhere. Put out the vibes, flirt, dress to impress.

She's not in her prime. If she got knocked up today, she'd be listed as Advanced Maternal Age. She's old.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professional and marriage minded.

I am clueless. Please help!

Date men in their 40s to 50s who want those things.

if you date in your 30s or younger, the guys will see you as expendable and not commit as much.

An older man will cherish you much more than someone your age, as he knows he'd be a fool to get rid of you.

You mean someone like a divorced dad in his late 40s with kids who has to pay alimony, failed at marriage, co parent and has lots of baggage?

Hate it when people say things like the above, as if the only thing she stands to offer is her age and that's her only value, and therefore she has to date someone much older. Go for a quality man around your own age, you don't need to settle.

She might, in fact, need to settle.

Anonymous wrote:The women I know who met their future spouses in their late thirties all made it almost like a second job to find a partner. It was like they were on a mission. They were out every other night at whatever function they could be at: professional networking event, some DC magazine party, charity galas, church/temple events, running club, biking club, hiking club, ...

Also, make sure you always look put together. I am not saying dress to the nines every time you get out of the house, but you don't want to run into the perfect man when you are in sweats with oily hair in a bun.

You would be surprised I think most of us met our wives when they didn't feel they were in their "prettiest" state.

Anonymous wrote:The women I know who met their future spouses in their late thirties all made it almost like a second job to find a partner. It was like they were on a mission. They were out every other night at whatever function they could be at: professional networking event, some DC magazine party, charity galas, church/temple events, running club, biking club, hiking club, ...

Also, make sure you always look put together. I am not saying dress to the nines every time you get out of the house, but you don't want to run into the perfect man when you are in sweats with oily hair in a bun.

Why do women keep perpetuating this nonsense? Have you ever been with a man? Did he see your thigh stubble and say "actually, no thanks, I'll pass."

I'm going to share a truth about men: they notice novelty-- new woman? awesome. They don't see the greasy hair or the sloppy clothes. And then, once you've got one, he likes it when you dress up on occasion. Because it's "new". You can slouch around all week in leggings and his old t-shirt, and when you dress up on Friday night, his eyes pop out. His biology pushes him to spread his genes far and wide, and so many men have a taste for novelty. This works to your advantage when dating. And it's a hint for how to keep him happy long term.

Alumni events

This really reads like you want kids, OP, and the guy is just a means to that end.

Don’t make that mistake.

OP, just make friends. I know, that's not easy either! But don't worry about romance. It'll be so much better later with a good friend, than sooner with some rando you met on an app.

So hike or bike or go to lectures or comicon or whatever you'd do for fun if you weren't *trying* to *meet someone.* And then be friendly. Strike up conversations. Arrange to hang out and see how you like people. Have lots of these casual friendships at once if you can. Odds are good that one of them will stand out from the crowd, although it almost certainly won't be immediately, and might not be the one you thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Professional and marriage minded.

I am clueless. Please help!

You are at your PRIME! Literally anywhere. Put out the vibes, flirt, dress to impress.

Why lie to op? That’s mean

I attracted more men between 36 and 43 (when I took one of them home and let him stay) than ever in my life. It's the perfect age for a woman-- not yet visibly aging, but with confidence and independence.

Anonymous wrote:Op there is a reason you are single in your late 30s. You probably have an inflated sense of self worth or are extremely emotional

Bolded for truth.

Be a quality women and they will find you. Are you very attractive? Do you hang out in circles where the men are high quality?

I have been married for almost 20 years. Every man we know earns six or seven figures. They are all married and met their wives in their twenties in college, grad school, work or through friends. A few met online on March or jdate back in the day.

I would assume in late thirties, almost everyone is paired up by now. It is kind of like musical chairs and you may be out of luck.

Op there is a reason you are single in your late 30s. You probably have an inflated sense of self worth or are extremely emotional