Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll weigh in bc this was us - none of this sell the car bs. I make 200K to live my life not to eat ramen and drive a car without heat.

I ended up in similar debt. I transferred to a 12 month 0 apr card. I limited but didn’t stop the eating out and DoorDash. With little kids food ordering is the only thing I can savor and use as a treat. Cut down grocery bill, cut down subscriptions, cut down any clothes buying or dumb buying like Amazon or small things for kids that they didn’t need. Got a few credit cards for the bonus put electricity bills on it, then used the bonus to pay down the credit card balance. The reality is it’s real shitty to be in this position with a high income but house and childcare will do you in. I also don’t want to live like a poor monk so had to find where I could cut and where I could still “enjoy.” Paid of all debt in one year and have been debt free for months now. Also and this I’m kind of ashamed to admit I did some bank bonuses that got me extra money for extra payments.

The only reason you needed to "live like a poor monk" was because you failed to live within your means initially. You made that choice, then you had to make the choice to cut back and pay it off.

I hope you have worked on building an emergency fund and not just back to spending everything

Emergency fund is better than ever I left out something, no credit card or car debt AFTER I paid off the car loan for a used Subaru.

Pray tell what is failing to live within my 200k means? Mcd is takeout and I eat beans and rice and I sew my clothes to mend them? Seriously it sounds ridiculous and that’s why I’m telling the OP to be realistic with a mortgage and kids and living in DC. Sure you can eat ramen for the next year and get out of debt but you can also drop dead and your 200K sure doesn’t matter.

My husband and I were making about 275 in 2015 and had a decent but small house in Alexandria, modest mortgage ($2500 ish) and we found it really hard once the second kid came around. Two under two in daycare was. A real struggle. We were running up like 2-3 k a month in credit card and then paid that off the next month but never could get out of that. Maybe if you both have pensions or something but we could never save. And never mind you are watching everyone around you drive BMW SUVs and taking their kids for ten days in Italy or their beach house in Rehoboth - it just wasn’t what we wanted - to be making what is actually a huge amount of money in most of the world and still feel poor. Luckily we found a low cost of living area where my husband could keep his federal job and I got a remote job. It also helped once the kids were out of toddler daycare stage, although camps and braces etc are not cheap either.
Anyway it was not enough for us in dc - there is always something “more” you need - and we are able to do more for our kids here. It might be different for you .

Anonymous wrote:OP we make more like $300 k and no mortgage, but still feel like it’s not a lot of money in this area for any extras or luxuries. I feel pretty poor in Bethesda compared to other families. We budget a lot.

You make $300K and have no mortgage. WTH do you spend your money on?!?! I get that housing is expensive in Bethesda, but what else are you tossing $$$ at

Anonymous wrote:I’ll weigh in bc this was us - none of this sell the car bs. I make 200K to live my life not to eat ramen and drive a car without heat.

I ended up in similar debt. I transferred to a 12 month 0 apr card. I limited but didn’t stop the eating out and DoorDash. With little kids food ordering is the only thing I can savor and use as a treat. Cut down grocery bill, cut down subscriptions, cut down any clothes buying or dumb buying like Amazon or small things for kids that they didn’t need. Got a few credit cards for the bonus put electricity bills on it, then used the bonus to pay down the credit card balance. The reality is it’s real shitty to be in this position with a high income but house and childcare will do you in. I also don’t want to live like a poor monk so had to find where I could cut and where I could still “enjoy.” Paid of all debt in one year and have been debt free for months now. Also and this I’m kind of ashamed to admit I did some bank bonuses that got me extra money for extra payments.

The only reason you needed to "live like a poor monk" was because you failed to live within your means initially. You made that choice, then you had to make the choice to cut back and pay it off.

I hope you have worked on building an emergency fund and not just back to spending everything

Anonymous wrote:On that income you’ll have to make choices. Yes, someone who is not on this board would cringe at that comment, but it’s true - especially in this area.

You make $16,666 a month. With a 5% 401k contribution and assuming a 30% tax burden, you bring home about $11,000 a month.

After you pay your mortgage, you have $7500 left over.

Yes, you can live off that but with kids and being in NOVA it will require sacrifice and budgeting. Maybe $200 a month to the kids 529s, keep car expenses low.

We just bought a Toyota Corolla for $25000 out the door. That’s a perfect car for a family with 2 kids. You’ll need to think along those lines to make your money go further.

Since you have a $3500 mortgage, have you lived in your house for awhile? Do you have a lot of equity?

You forget healthcare. I make appx 200k in DC, as a fed, and my biweekly paycheck is 4000 dollars.

We were struggling on $200K with a $5K mortgage due to a layoff. We were over by about $1000 each month but we reduced our spending and stopped 529 and savings account contributions so we broke even every month. We wouldn't have had an issue with a $3500 mortgage.

I’m the pp who said we have a similar mortgage. I wanted to clarify that our old mortgage was similar. We moved to a LCOL area and now have a smaller mortgage with more breathing room, but we were living like this when we were in the DMV and still had an emergency fund. It’s doable, but you have to be willing to sacrifice during the daycare years.

Anonymous wrote:we make $250k and have two kids in private school.

no way to pay for 2 kids full price at private school at 250K. We can not pay even for just 1 kid at private full price.

Another thought: if you have cc debt, it sounds like you don’t have an emergency fund. After you pay off the debt, you need to keep living frugally until you have some cash savings. DH drives a 2007 sedan, so we have enough saved to buy a new one tomorrow, plus enough to replace the water heater and electrical panel, which are both old.

Take heart: it took us years to get here. You don’t need to save that much immediately, but you need to end each month with more money than you started. If you can’t do that, you need to start living like you’re poor. Look at cutting vacation, buying the kids used Christmas presents, cutting any activities, declining kids birthday parties. Examine your credit cards to ensure you have the most advantageous interest rate. We’ll do anything to save $2. Reddit has a forum called r/povertyfinance that has great advice.

we make $250k and have two kids in private school.

Anonymous wrote:Have one of you stay home with kids and other gets a 200K job.

oh sure, because finding a $200K is so easy.

Anonymous wrote:I’ll weigh in bc this was us - none of this sell the car bs. I make 200K to live my life not to eat ramen and drive a car without heat.

I ended up in similar debt. I transferred to a 12 month 0 apr card. I limited but didn’t stop the eating out and DoorDash. With little kids food ordering is the only thing I can savor and use as a treat. Cut down grocery bill, cut down subscriptions, cut down any clothes buying or dumb buying like Amazon or small things for kids that they didn’t need. Got a few credit cards for the bonus put electricity bills on it, then used the bonus to pay down the credit card balance. The reality is it’s real shitty to be in this position with a high income but house and childcare will do you in. I also don’t want to live like a poor monk so had to find where I could cut and where I could still “enjoy.” Paid of all debt in one year and have been debt free for months now. Also and this I’m kind of ashamed to admit I did some bank bonuses that got me extra money for extra payments.

please. there is a wide range between a car that has no heat and a car that you can't pay for in cash so have to get a car loan.

OP we make more like $300 k and no mortgage, but still feel like it’s not a lot of money in this area for any extras or luxuries. I feel pretty poor in Bethesda compared to other families. We budget a lot.

Anonymous wrote:OP, we make about that much money sans have a similar mortgage. We drive old cars and buy new ones in cash so we don’t have a car payment. Drive these ones until you’ve paid them off AND saved enough to buy the next one in cash.

I agree that you need to cut all eating out, gym memberships, and most extras like streaming. For reference, I buy used clothes for the whole family, used furniture, and I cook almost every meal from scratch because of allergies. I gave myself used books for Christmas and pretended they were new. Yes, you’re madding good money🆕 , but the daycare years are hard.

To clarify: I meant cut duplicative streaming services. The whole family agrees on Netflix or Prime or whatever.

Anonymous wrote:Have one of you stay home with kids and other gets a 200K job.

This is a great point. Our hhi is 200k, but it’s on one salary. Having a SAHP is really helpful in managing money. We don’t have to pay for childcare nor for as many conveniences like restaurants and can be much more flexible for things like travel.

Also we have no debt except mortgage and that is 1800/mo - don’t think I would be comfortable with a 3500/mo mortgage on 200k! Especially if i had any other debt.