Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

No. She made a choice and like the rest of us, she has to live with her choices.

You have no idea whether she made a choice to be single, and no one really makes a choice to be poor.

Yeah, that’s mean. Very few women chose to be a single mom. It could happen to any one of us at any time. I would hope if I find myself in that situation one day, I could count on my friends to be of some support. Be it emotionally just listening or helping me with complicated driving schedule, etc.

Yes, I’d give her a pass. I would also be annoyed with the complaining if it was constant. But I’d pick her tab when we went out and do any driving she needs help with, if asked, and I don’t have a valid reason to not help. Raising kids (well) is hard. It’s hard for me and I SAH and have no financial concerns. I cannot imagine trying to do it all as a single parent plus be the sole provider. I applaud the women that do it, even if not by choice, and will help them if I’m able

Anonymous wrote:Folks here need to extend grace and empathy to others more often. It sounds like she’s a friend and struggles more than you as a single parent. Being a single parent is tough. If she’s a friend, be a friend to her.

When she complains maybe she just needs someone to listen? She doesn’t have that other adult at home to talk to, which is a big part of doing it alone.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

If you don't accept her then you aren't a friend.

What favors is she asking for? Does she ever reciprocate in any way?

She might not be able to reciprocate in any way, if she's always at the end of her rope. That doesn't make her a bad person. It makes her a person who is in over her head. I'm not sure what's hard to understand about that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

No. She made a choice and like the rest of us, she has to live with her choices.

You have no idea whether she made a choice to be single, and no one really makes a choice to be poor.

You sound like a peach, OP. Sometimes people need help. You will see one day when your life gets harder than you can manage for whatever reason. Some people are very kind and empathetic. Other people, like you, are not.

Anonymous wrote:Yes. Anyone who’s a single mom, a BIPOC or LGTBQIA+ is oppressed by cisgender white males. So OF COURSE! They are unquestionably entitled to a pass.

+1

Why is this even a question?

Yes. Anyone who’s a single mom, a BIPOC or LGTBQIA+ is oppressed by cisgender white males. So OF COURSE! They are unquestionably entitled to a pass.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

No. She made a choice and like the rest of us, she has to live with her choices.

Hopefully life will NEVER life on you!!!

Being a single mom is a STRUGGLE!!! If you haven’t experienced this, you have NO idea of the STRUGGLES of not having a partner to relieve you. Of not having anyone to vent to! Single parents who back out of events or who don’t reciprocate definitely DESERVE a pass. It’s HARD doing this solo with NO help. Be a friend because you are blessed if you aren’t a Single mom.

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

If you don't accept her then you aren't a friend.

What favors is she asking for? Does she ever reciprocate in any way?

OP, you are entitled to a preference re: who you align yourself with for friendship. No explanation or justification required.

Anonymous wrote:She should be getting money from her ex

Should be but there isn’t much that can be done if they ex won’t pay CS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend who is a single mom. She is always asking for favors, always plays victim, struggles financially and often complaining. Her single mom status takes up her entire identity. I’m wondering if friends have to accept the friend as a single mom and how hard her life is. I often feel she is not a good friend, but then you excuse her because she is a single mom and has a lot on her plate.

No. She made a choice and like the rest of us, she has to live with her choices.

Guarantee this is a forced birther

Is there any father in the picture at all?