Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 18:21     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
Anonymous wrote:No big a-ha moment or disaster; it just isn't working for me anymore - messy sleep, hangovers, empty calories, not worth it.
I have some friends who love their cocktails and dinner parties with wine courses. They're good friends - I don't worry about feeling judged so much as sort of being a wet blanket...and also I don't want to play coy and claim some excuse. Anyone who's BTDT, how did you "come out" as a non-drinker to friends?


You don't, that's signifying and juvenile.

If offered an alcoholic drink, just say you want insert drink here instead.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 15:28     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:None for me, I stopped drinking.


+1. If they inquire as to why, "it really messes with my sleep" has worked well for me.


If asked "why" for something like this, I would stare at the person blankly to make them feel uncomfortable and then change the subject.

LARLA: "Why?"

ME: ... ... ... ... "So, how about them Nationals?"

Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 15:16     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
Anonymous wrote:None for me, I stopped drinking.


+1. If they inquire as to why, "it really messes with my sleep" has worked well for me.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 15:14     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
I've never drank, and I just ask for ice water, because that's what I like. If anyone gave me a hard time they wouldn't remain a friend.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 14:59     Subject: Re:How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
Why would you have to say anything? If someone asks, just say you're not drinking or that you've stopped. No need to provide some long explanation. I've never had anyone question why I'm not ordering a drink. And I've never asked someone why they aren't drinking.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 14:50     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
if you have friends that you have to explain your decisions to then you need to get new friends.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 14:47     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
If you're going to a party or dinner in someone's home, bring a non-alcoholic version of whatever you like. So many good options now. I don't think it should be a big deal at all - between needing to drive, playing sports or training, aging, random meds... lots of good easy reasons to skip alcohol. Justl like if you were abstaining from gluten or dairy or something else...
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 14:40     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
"Alcohol is poison and you're a fool for consuming it. Be like me and stop."

That usually does the trick.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 14:37     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
Take a small pour as nurse it, or ask for an alternative x or say "no, thanks". Only an alcoholic will press you about it, and for them their correct response is " you should probably join me"
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 14:13     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
I have several friends who have quit drinking and they say they don't drink - closer friends have told me why, but I never expect that and I don't ask. I think a direct and simple I don't drink/don't want a drink is fine/all you need. I think people are coming around to the idea that not everyone drinks.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 10:44     Subject: Re:How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
Yeah, I would NOT saying anything that implies that I "QUIT" drinking. Why make it so "final" so that if you do have a drink in the future, you'll have to ask how to explain that. If you are are going out with friends, just say...I don't want to feel like crap tomorrow. I'm not drinking tonight. If not with friends, then you don't have have to explain anything. You can just say, I'm not drinking tonight. I'll have a [whatever].
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 08:12     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
OP you’re worried about being a wet blanket. Does that mean you usually get buzzed at these events, and now that you won’t be you think you’ll be less fun? Hopefully your friends are secure enough to not care what you’re doing, and they like you whether or not you’re buzzed.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 07:43     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
"I stopped drinking, it doesn't make me feel great."

How is this hard, OP?
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 07:43     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
I joke that I retired. You don’t need to give a reason…nobody really cares, and if they do it says more about them than you. I definitely don’t go into detail because no one wants to hear it.
Anonymous
Post 04/23/2025 07:37     Subject: How do you tell friends you no longer drink?
Anonymous wrote:Serious question (I am not American, so may be cultural difference), do you have to specify that you quit drinking for good? The reason I am asking is that while I didn’t quit, I drink only when I feel like it, and that is usually once in a few months. The other times I say “no, thanks” and no one ever questioned it here in US. Do people really start pressuring you when you say no and don’t stop until you provide a medical or a philosophical reason for not drinking?


This is a great question and the answer is no you don’t have to specify you quit drinking. I’ve not had alcohol for over 12 years now. I rarely bring it up. When someone asks me what I’d like to drink when I’m out, I just say “water” or whatever I want.