Anonymous wrote:What's middle age?

Op here. Early 40s in this case.

Anonymous wrote:If you mean “sexless” by “not physical“ … then yes, you can still have a great marriage. I do. DH has zero interest, and hasn’t had any interest for years. It’s fine if everything else is great. If everything else were not great, then there’d be a big problem. YMMV.

He is getting it somewhere else. Don't yourself. We know it and do it. Golf buddies and Vegas fan.

What's middle age?

For women in this situation, do harmless crush alleviate the situation?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could they have low testosterone?

It’s possible. But put them in a bedroom with Adriana Lima or Margot Robbie, and you’ll find out that low testosterone isn’t a problem.

Low testosterone is a hormonal problem. Beauty doesn't solve it. You have to change your lifestyle and/or see a doctor.

Plus these actresses won’t ever be in bed with an overweight middle age man.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Generally, we find that the spouse who is no longer interested is actually still interested but not in their spouse.

Sadly, this is true. I thought my husband was asexual until he caught an STD.

UGH! How did your husband explain that ??

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Could they have low testosterone?

It’s possible. But put them in a bedroom with Adriana Lima or Margot Robbie, and you’ll find out that low testosterone isn’t a problem.

Low testosterone is a hormonal problem. Beauty doesn't solve it. You have to change your lifestyle and/or see a doctor.

Anonymous wrote:
Always MONEY why women stay in less than ideal situations ..

No, its often kids and nothing else.

The last five years of my 25 year marriage were sex free because my H lost interest and eventually I lost interest in him because I don't have sex with anyone who doesn't appear to want to have sex with me. I stayed so as not to implode my children's lives and because he is otherwise a great guy and we got along fine.

The year I left I dabbled a little in other men and quickly discovered that I still totally desired and enjoyed sex, just not with him. I have had several relationships and lots of great sex since we divorced. He has had one brief relationship but otherwise seems fine with being very single for many years now. I think he has low T and I know I have high T.

None of it had anything to do with who was or wasn't fat. I tolerated the situation for my kid's sake, I suppressed my sexual urges until I was able to make an exit plan. I was reasonably happy. We are still friends.

Anonymous wrote:It’s often because the wife is no longer desirable or the sex has become a monotonous routine. You put that guy in front of a sexy hot young woman and he will go on her like crazy.

It’s very hard for many men to have sex with the same woman for years and still find excitement. Not impossible, but very difficult. New things are always very exciting.

If you had several partners, it gets boring to be with one.

Anonymous wrote:If you are fat and your spouse is height/weight proportionate, then you are the likely cause for them to be non-physical

You sound like a man. And a very dumb one at that.

Do you even have the slightest idea how difficult it is to lose the weight after even a healthy delivery??!?

Anonymous wrote:In our 50s, I want sex much more than DH. We’re at like 1-2x a week, but when life gets in the way it can be zero. I wish he’d try harder to make it happen more often, but it’s just not important to him the way it is to me. Also, when it does happen, it just doesn’t feel like he has the passion or energy, and isn’t super concerned about my enjoyment the way that he used to be. It is a source of disappointment and resentment for me, but I’ll take what I can get, and appreciate when we actually get our two times a week (although I prefer more). If we stopped completely, there is no way we could be best friends or any sort of friends because I would be so angry.

Are you fat?

For those women who are content with lack of physical intimacy: is emotional intimacy sufficient given other parts of the marriage, like common goals and shared history? What degree of reduced emotional intimacy would you tolerate? And how old are you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How common is for middle-age women to be reasonably happily married to a man who is not "physical" (and where there is no longer a particularly fantastic emotional fulfillment either) and where the dynamics is mainly that of best friends? Is it because the man is financially stable, a good father, an overall decent person? Is it mainly due to mutual respect, common history, and common goals especially involving kids?

If anyone has any answers to this I would really love to know. In my case my wife is the non-physical one. It's cheaper to keep her than to let her go.

The answer is simple. If we put your wife in a bedroom with a Henry Cavill or Chris Hemsworth, she will suddenly be very “physical”.

Anonymous wrote:Could they have low testosterone?

It’s possible. But put them in a bedroom with Adriana Lima or Margot Robbie, and you’ll find out that low testosterone isn’t a problem.