I do think charging rent helps. I lived my mom for 2 years post college. After the first year, she started charging me rent. It was not market rate, but a few hundred dollars. It helped me get used to paying it! Then I found an apartment with a friend that was only a few hundred more dollars and I never looked back.

But I did always know I *could* live with her if I really needed or wanted to. She never kicked me out. That type of safety net is incredible. I also had $10k in savings before I moved out, which I never needed to touch but was invaluable for life lessons (like a surprise $1500 car maintenance).

I guess it depends on the personalities involved. I do think encouraging your young adult kids to live on their own is a good idea. But to give them a few years to work and save money is really priceless.

Anonymous wrote:I got a job as a teacher, so I moved home from May to August. I’m thankful to my parents for letting me save money for a few months. I had to put a security deposit down, and pay expenses for the first month before I got my paycheck. Living at home that summer allowed me to do that without going into credit cards debt. I’m thankful.

If you don’t want your children moving home, you need to explicitly state that, at a time when you can be friendly and neutral.

“Larla, we would prefer that you move into your own place after graduation. You’ll need money for a security deposit and expenses until you get your first paycheck. Makes sure you have that in savings.”

Don’t be passive aggressive about it. Make sure your tone caring. You’re not required to pay for anything after graduation. That’s fine. But you need to clearly inform your kid of the deadline, whatever it is.

Does that count though? I also got a teaching job before graduating college and it would have been really weird for my parents to boot me out before my job (in a totally different location) started.

My DS graduated in May 2024 from UVA with a degree in CS; however, he always wanted to pursue a career in music/acting, and because he is our only child, we do have the financial resources to support his dream. DW told him that he had a five-year runway to make it happen. After that, he would need to get a real job if the music/acting career does not work out. We give him a 10k/month limit, but he only uses about 4K/month. Music/acting is a very tough business, and DS understands it. You Only Live Once.

We encourage DS to take many risks while he is still single. Bottom line, if you have the financial resources to do it, why not?

As immigrants that live in multi-generational joint families, there is zero pressure from us on my kids to move out of the house.

Why?

It does not cost us anything extra (or significantly) to continue to let our kids stay in our house for free. But, it will make a severe impact financially for my kids if they have to pay for shelter, food, utilities and other assets that they use at home for free - for example doing their laundry or using the family car etc.

As parents we pay completely for all education and enrichment, let them be on our medical insurance till they are 25, their first car, their wedding, downpayment to their first home etc - so that they can save their money and grow their wealth through the power of compounding. If we do not have the money to give college, car, wedding to them for free, letting them stay for free at our home is the least we can do for them.

I'd love it if my adult children wanted to live at home for a while. If they were like me though, they'll be out at 18.

My DC stayed at home for free until marriage and then moved to another state for employment. We encouraged them to save all the money they earned. So, mainly house, car, food, utilities, college etc was free for several years. We also paid for the wedding.

Anonymous wrote:The rule should be you have 60 days to find a job and pay rent or be enrolled in school full time.

And then when they move out I will give it back to them. I wouldn't charge much.

The rule should be you have 60 days to find a job and pay rent or be enrolled in school full time.

My parents let us know that we and our spouses/kids will have food and shelter for free at their house forever.

I have the best family of origin in the world. We all are close knit and we help each other out.

I got a job as a teacher, so I moved home from May to August. I’m thankful to my parents for letting me save money for a few months. I had to put a security deposit down, and pay expenses for the first month before I got my paycheck. Living at home that summer allowed me to do that without going into credit cards debt. I’m thankful.

If you don’t want your children moving home, you need to explicitly state that, at a time when you can be friendly and neutral.

“Larla, we would prefer that you move into your own place after graduation. You’ll need money for a security deposit and expenses until you get your first paycheck. Makes sure you have that in savings.”

Don’t be passive aggressive about it. Make sure your tone caring. You’re not required to pay for anything after graduation. That’s fine. But you need to clearly inform your kid of the deadline, whatever it is.

My parents would have been horrified at the idea of their children wasting money on renting properties they had no equity in. Like lightning money on fire.

My start date for my first job was 6 weeks after I graduated and we spent that six weeks looking for a starter property I could afford on that salary and then organizing roommates. My parents gift was to co-sign the mortgage. What is this insanity about charging children rent? If you’re old enough to have an adult child surely you’ve figured out your finances by now?!?

Anonymous wrote:If not right out of college, when? How old were you. I have a junior in college who is dependent time. I have been hinting that she MUST find a job in her senior year so she can begin her life and so that she can live the way she wants and afford her type lifestyle. I am hoping the job market will be better next year.

I think that it is okay for them to live at home while working after college. But the expectation needs to be clearly communicated that they make full effort to do their part. This means working and paying for their own expenses while maximizing their saving. If you have been doing this through college, it should be an easy transition.

My parents didn't ask me: it was expected. I never lived at home again after junior year of college. But the late 90s were a different time.

It sounds like you really just want to ensure your child is financially stable and ready to launch--not that they need to be out of your house for other reasons. There's a way to achieve that without forcing them to live elsewhere, assuming you're ok with them living at home.

My mom said "you've got 3 months and then I'm charging you market rate rent." She was very serious. I was only back home while my background check cleared for my well paying job. I'm still very hurt about how mean she was about it all. It was the last time I've ever had downtime in 20 years. I wish I had gone backpacking through Europe and ignored her rants about me being unemployed.

I have more than enough space and wouldn’t mind if they came back. It’s up to them. I will be here, God willing! But also am trying to raise independent adults.