Anonymous wrote:Not sure if posting about race related stuff is appropriate here but here goes. I’m Chinese and was raised in the US. DH is as well. I have a lot of Asian friends - nothing against anyone else but I’ve just tended to gravitate towards people with a similar backgrounds and have a certain comfort level with them. It never surprised me that I married someone Chinese. It would’ve seemed odd to me that I mostly hang out with Asians but then marry a non-Asian, if that makes sense?

Anyways, we have kids now and lately my parents have been commenting on how they have various Chinese friends whose kids married white people, and how their kids are so cute (yeah I get it, mixed race kids are cute). They made a comment about how it would’ve interesting if I married someone outside of our race. For some reason their comments really bothered me. Am I somehow inferior since I “settled” for someone of my own ethnicity? Is marrying a white person a gold standard for an Asian? What’s wrong with being proud of who I am and finding someone similar?

I just wanted to vent a little. Curious about others thoughts on this. Anyone have parents like this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am Asian. When I was growing up, my sisters and I had a "plan" to all marry men of different races so we could have a whole spectrum of rainbow babies. I think we just thought they were all cute and it's fun to think about what combos of features might emerge. I would try not to be bothered by your parents' comments.

I do agree that these days there is some strange racism where Asians prefer looking more Western. I feel sad when I watch Asian tv shows on Netflix and many actors appear to be mixed.

I am second-generation Chinese married to the same. I feel you on how strangely rare this is in the DMV though (we don't live in Rockville or similarly high-Asian-populated areas). In my DD's grade, I think there was only one other full Asian kid (out of five kindergarten classes), but there were a dozen+ half Asian kids.

Same here - I do live in a dense Asian area but most of the couples I meet where both parents are Asian are first generation/more recent immigrants. I don't meet many couples where both are second generation. Way more common to see mixed couples if one person is second generation.

Anonymous wrote:I am Asian. When I was growing up, my sisters and I had a "plan" to all marry men of different races so we could have a whole spectrum of rainbow babies. I think we just thought they were all cute and it's fun to think about what combos of features might emerge. I would try not to be bothered by your parents' comments.

I do agree that these days there is some strange racism where Asians prefer looking more Western. I feel sad when I watch Asian tv shows on Netflix and many actors appear to be mixed.

I am second-generation Chinese married to the same. I feel you on how strangely rare this is in the DMV though (we don't live in Rockville or similarly high-Asian-populated areas). In my DD's grade, I think there was only one other full Asian kid (out of five kindergarten classes), but there were a dozen+ half Asian kids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean half Asian babies are realllllly cute.

But it’s a shitty thing to say. I’m sorry OP.

Sorry, but that's not all true. I've seen plenty of plain looking ones. Only the even plainer parents think they are cute.
I met one with a weak chin in college (his mother had a weak chin). Ick.
-signed, Chinese

Anonymous wrote:Not sure if posting about race related stuff is appropriate here but here goes. I’m Chinese and was raised in the US. DH is as well. I have a lot of Asian friends - nothing against anyone else but I’ve just tended to gravitate towards people with a similar backgrounds and have a certain comfort level with them. It never surprised me that I married someone Chinese. It would’ve seemed odd to me that I mostly hang out with Asians but then marry a non-Asian, if that makes sense?

Anyways, we have kids now and lately my parents have been commenting on how they have various Chinese friends whose kids married white people, and how their kids are so cute (yeah I get it, mixed race kids are cute). They made a comment about how it would’ve interesting if I married someone outside of our race. For some reason their comments really bothered me. Am I somehow inferior since I “settled” for someone of my own ethnicity? Is marrying a white person a gold standard for an Asian? What’s wrong with being proud of who I am and finding someone similar?

I just wanted to vent a little. Curious about others thoughts on this. Anyone have parents like this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm Chinese and if parents are anything like mine, they'd complain you should have married someone Chinese if you married white or any other Asian
And if you did the right thing by marrying someone Chinese, well, that wasn't good enough either.

The best thing I ever did was realize they'll never be satisfied with anything I do, or don't do.

However since tallness is a virtue, maybe they're just complaining because they wish your kids were taller. I do happen to have a kid with a white father and my parents love to fawn over how tall he is. Every.time.he.visits.

Whatever, live your life and not theirs.

Because he's a boy.
I have a boy and a girl as does my sister. The difference in treatment based on gender is revolting.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean half Asian babies are realllllly cute.

But it’s a shitty thing to say. I’m sorry OP.

Sorry, but that's not all true. I've seen plenty of plain looking ones. Only the even plainer parents think they are cute.
I met one with a weak chin in college (his mother had a weak chin). Ick.
-signed, Chinese

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I mean half Asian babies are realllllly cute.

But it’s a shitty thing to say. I’m sorry OP.

They’re really cute…but I just think it’s because they look like Asian kids with white features and people think white features are more attractive so…