Anonymous wrote:Most people are as faithful as their options, but I honestly don’t think most people have great options.

Options are a function of both your desirability and your environment. Those with many options have both desirability and the right environment (think musicians who go on tour).

This is it right here. I’ve only met one person in 15 years of marriage that I would want to have a purely sexual relationship with based on feelings of desire and mutual chemistry. But, even if I wanted to start something there (I don’t want to blow up my life for strong sexual chemistry), there are almost zero opportunities for it to happen based on the circumstances. I imagine to start some kind of illicit affair, you need an opportunity to present itself and a lot of working parents who don’t travel etc don’t have these opportunities to begin with. That’s why most affairs happen on work trips. Also, with social media, tech, doorbell cams, security cams, ways to track people, it’s difficult to get away with it.

I have seen affairs in some of what I perceived to be the strongest relationships and many of the ”my spouse would never…” types.

It’s been more than a little shocking.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised it’s more than 1% percent.

Such a small percentage of the population is actually dateable / f-able, and then only a percentage of that group would cheat.

Uggos bump nasties all the time. In fact, uglier women tend to give it away more from low self-esteem.

Unattractive guys aren't out there having affairs. Online is a complete bust for them.

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the research, 20%. It seems to be overwhelmingly committed by people of a certain personality type.

Explain the personality type please. Curious to see if my cheating ex matches type.

I agree with the research, 20%. It seems to be overwhelmingly committed by people of a certain personality type.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not the percentage that are divorced. But include couples who are unfaithful and their spouse never finds out or they know but don’t divorce.

I think it’s around 70%.

You don’t belong to a church, do you?

No, i don’t. So you’re saying closer to 80%?

The main issue is if you travel for work you need a burner phone and a prepaid credit card.

You can’t have any Id on you and anything with your real name. That way you can knock the bottom out of randoms on the road in your hotel room and they can never find you to blow up the home front.

That just takes too much work. So no road whores.

Before email and technology, conventions were great. You would see Sally for a few days twice a year. And the. No contact till the next convention.

Maybe my sample is skewed but I feel like it's fairly common for men to hook up with someone while on a business trip. I'd say 40%. I think the percent of women cheating is far, far lower... maybe 5-10%.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I would have said 5-10%. I’ve only known of one person in my adult life who cheated on a long term partner.

I knew of none. Then I got into my 50s and I have heard of sooooooo many. Lots of divorces happening now because either the wife or husband cheated and those are just the ones that speak of it.

I know of none and I'm 47. Guess the next few years are gonna be crazy.

There are studies of this, you know

Eg, 20% of married men and 13% of married women reported having sex with someone who wasn't their spouse. https://ifstudies.org/blog/who-cheats-more-the-demographics-of-cheating-in-america

Definitely cheating in more than 50% overall but many of those do divorce.

So outside of the divorced (as op asked) I would guess 10-15 percent of some kind of unfaithfulness.

Anonymous wrote:How many with one or both spouses unfaithful in a long term marriage? Probably 40% or more. I know quite a few couples where an affair, liaison, etc. was uncovered. While the internet, texting, etc. makes it easier for someone to get caught, it also makes it easier to conduct an affair to begin with.
While I don't think a high percentages of spouses leave for an AP, I think the relationship does uncover dissatisfaction in the marriage and can still lead to divorce.

+1. Midlife crisis is much worse now that talking to someone to find to fk is available 24/7 at your finger tips. Social media is a also a huge cause —starter of it

Anonymous wrote:I’m surprised it’s more than 1% percent.

Such a small percentage of the population is actually dateable / f-able, and then only a percentage of that group would cheat.

Uggos bump nasties all the time. In fact, uglier women tend to give it away more from low self-esteem.

Anonymous wrote:Wow. I would have said 5-10%. I’ve only known of one person in my adult life who cheated on a long term partner.

I knew of none. Then I got into my 50s and I have heard of sooooooo many. Lots of divorces happening now because either the wife or husband cheated and those are just the ones that speak of it.

I’m surprised it’s more than 1% percent.

Such a small percentage of the population is actually dateable / f-able, and then only a percentage of that group would cheat.