The posts on appearance on DCUM are so interesting to me because most of my life, the women around were very concerned and insecure about their looks. But here, I read post after post from women who say they were/are attractive. Perhaps this is a self-selecting issue on both sides (my real life and DCUM?).

I thought I was pretty normal looking -- attractive enough but not gorgeous. My Facebook page has a picture that was taken at an outdoor wedding, and I used it because it looked very casual and not posed. My friend's other recently died, and a message about her death appeared on my Facebook page. I talked to her soon afterward and followed up with a note a few weeks after the funeral. I made a comment on my friend's page along the lines: I am sorry about your mother's death, she was a lovely woman.

People I didn't know started to attack me for talking about the appearance of dead woman. I received a number of comments about how my picture showed I was ugly on the outside and the inside. I knew none of these people, so I wasn't sure how to assess their comments. I was just surprised that so many people said I was ugly based on a picture that I thought was attractive enough.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an interesting question to me because it has totally varied for me by age. When I was in my 20s whenever I looked in a mirror I would be shocked by how much worse I looked than what was expecting. In my 30s and 40s it was the opposite. I’d come home from an event and wonder if people had been kind of staring at me because there was something wrong and be surprised by how great my skin and hair looked. Now in my 50s—well, I don’t even want to talk about it honestly. I actually didn’t recognize myself in pictures from this Thanksgiving. It’s a surreal feeling.

Thats a shame

I look much better now at age 55. I get tons of attention from men, im very fit and pretty.

I had let weight creep on in the past. I have my face 'back' now and my body is slim and toned. Im also busty.

Im just going to enjoy it while it lasts. Kind of annoyed with myself that i let myself go in my 40s.

You are fooling yourself. No man is out there chasing women eligible for AARP.

Before you clap back with but, but, but.... Klum, Anniston, Roberts.. consider two things. 1-They don't look as good as the media wants you to think and most importantly, 2-you weren't even nearly as stunning as they were when young.

I look cute for a pregnant woman.

Too bad I’m not pregnant.

Once I got rid of the mirror that said I was the fairest of them all, I was able to objectively assess my appearance.

I think I am just average. I try to dress up and be presentable with my hair a little makeup and some jewelry. I clean up okay

The me in my head and in the mirror at my house (with good lighting) are the best versions of me. The me in photos is one step down, more often than not I think I look pretty good in them. Next, the me that I see in a mirror in a public place (usually bad lighting) is pretty bad. Finally, the me in the front facing camera on my phone is pretty consistently hideous. I choose to believe that the uglier versions of me are just a lie.

I’ve been homely since I was 12 or so, and was just plain before that. My family was always complimenting siblings and cousins and would get to me and say something about how hard I worked. From a young age I was pretty aware of getting a weird remix of my family’s genes that don’t quite work.

I put a lot of work into looking tidy and pulled together, so it’s always startling that the effort doesn’t result in me looking any better than when I started, and sometimes it looks worse because it gives the tragic air of having tried but not succeeded. So even if I’m wearing nice ironed clothes and great, classic jewelry and have my hair just right, it looks like my face and body have been swapped into the wrong paper doll’s accessories.

I guess it takes a lot to overcome homely.

I look my best in an outdoorsy setting where everyone is layered and sort of squinty and windblown.

I think I’m way more attractive than I actually am. I think I’ve always been that way.

Anonymous wrote:I feel way way better about myself than how I actually look. It’s a blessing and a curse.

Same but I don't see the curse part! I'm just glad to feel good. Confidence counts for a lot, right?

Am 51 FWIW.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am self-conscious. I am a rare feature person in a sea of people who have similar skin tone and dark eyes. Think Aishwarya Rai. I get complements on my eye color daily but I never wanted my friends or family to feel like I stood out in some way so I always think of myself as less attractive but other people seem to find my features make me more attractive.

It's not helpful when people don't know who the person you're describing yourself as is.

I’m trying to imagine being so dumb and helpless that I decided to type that out instead of using google.

I think I'm still a 9. This is delusional. Part of this is that I'm very photogenic.

I’ve always thought of myself as horrifically ugly, and pictures only confirm that. I think most people would agree, but what baffles me is that I occasionally come across a woman who says I’m extremely handsome. One woman said I was very good looking and I knew it, which was really weird.

Anonymous wrote:This is such an interesting question to me because it has totally varied for me by age. When I was in my 20s whenever I looked in a mirror I would be shocked by how much worse I looked than what was expecting. In my 30s and 40s it was the opposite. I’d come home from an event and wonder if people had been kind of staring at me because there was something wrong and be surprised by how great my skin and hair looked. Now in my 50s—well, I don’t even want to talk about it honestly. I actually didn’t recognize myself in pictures from this Thanksgiving. It’s a surreal feeling.

Thats a shame

I look much better now at age 55. I get tons of attention from men, im very fit and pretty.

I had let weight creep on in the past. I have my face 'back' now and my body is slim and toned. Im also busty.

Im just going to enjoy it while it lasts. Kind of annoyed with myself that i let myself go in my 40s.

In about one out of ten photos of myself I actually don't cringe and instead I think wow, I look pretty ok! The same day I don't like a picture of myself I could look in the mirror and think I look pretty good. Mind games!