Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

What’s the alternative?

Does saying nothing accomplish something better?

Would being called rude be better?

Like in family court or work performance reviews you just focus on the pattern of behaviors and symptoms over and over and how they negatively affect things. No need to postulate a Dx or label. It doesn’t matter. The chronic symptoms matter. That’s where the buck stops. For others.

For the afflicted it’s up to them to manage their symptoms or find a better environment for them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

No it’s not.

It’s helpful at work so you know the behavior is coming from a source of confusion, not malice.

However, in general, no one is to speak of others’ symptoms, misbehavior patterns, or potential diagnoses in the workplace (or politics, clothing, physiques).

So it’s ultimately a missed opportunity to help and accommodate if people don’t know what is driving the missed social cues or need for extra instruction or narration.

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

This smacks of bullying. It would be interpreted as unprofessional in the workplace and insensitive among aquitances.

Some other options:
"She has a direct communication style"
"He appreciates being told where there is flexibility in this instruction"
"She has a restricted diet"
"He is a homebody who prefers to focus on his hobbies"

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Its offensive when they are basically bullying and making up stuff.

Quirky is a nice way of saying rude. On the spectrum is a nice way of saying quirky and rude. What you want is for people to excuse rudeness without ever even acknowledging that's what they're doing. That only works with friends and people who like you. For colleagues or acquaintances, it won't work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Its offensive when they are basically bullying and making up stuff.

Anonymous wrote:I have recently been in situations where adults casually referred to awkward or socially unaware colleagues as "on the spectrum." I find this frustrating and offensive (and often inaccurate) and the term itself bothers me. I am a mom of a SN kid so definitely sensitive to this kind of thing.. is this objectively offensive? How about if referring to a kid with an ASD diagnosis?

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?

Anonymous wrote:On the spectrum as a term is not offensive. However, saying someone is on the spectrum because you perceive them as quirky can be offensive and derogatory.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I find it offensive for two different reasons. Although I wouldn't personally confront it or make a big deal, it makes me cringe:

1. when a colleague (or anyone) says that about anyone else who they think is weird, it is annoying. Someone can be weird and not Autistic, and vice versa. It also bothers me when someone says "Oh I'm so ADHD, haha!" or OCD. Those things are real, and not funny or light or the way to explain that you don't like sticky stuff on your hands or that you lose your keys.

2. I am a parent of an Autistic child and I hate it when people say "on the spectrum." I find it exclusively used by parents who want to minimize their child's diagnosis or challenges, or mean "my kid is just a tiny tiny bit Autistic." Autism is not a dirty word. I understand, believe me, my kid reminds me frequently that I said "you are just a tiny tiny bit Autistic," and literally put up my fingers in the tiny tiny motion. So that quote was mine. I didn't want to believe it, and I was trying to tell my kid "you're almost almost normal!" "there's nothing wrong with you!" Which, in hindsight, meant I was saying I don't want this to be wrong with you.

Now I know, there is nothing WRONG with my child. She's different, and AUTISTIC. It's not a dirty word. I don't say she's "on the spectrum" I don't even know what that means. It's not a slide rule like you're either a tiny bit Autistic or like a really really bad Autistic.

NP

Thank you for sharing this perspective. I tend to say DD is autistic or has autism because "on the spectrum" feels like a euphemism and of course there is no need for a euphemism.

That being said DD is young, very verbal and solidly average IQ and often presents to people as NT (she is not) because social demands are not that high at her age. So sometimes saying "autistic" feels like it might confuse people. It's okay to me if they are confused, but I think people say "on the spectrum" to convey low support needs - like they are not claiming their child has profound disabilities.

Anonymous wrote:So what should be said instead? Do we just say a person is weird/quirky? Or do we just not acknowledge their weirdness and pretend it doesn't exist?