Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 12:22     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My mom has a personality disorder—is and always has been a nightmare. It’s actually really hard to bear the societal myth that all moms are loving and nurturing and that they are owed honor and respect for having given birth. Some are neglectful, manipulative and abusive—way beyond just “flawed,” which most of us are. I get tired of people who say things like, “oh, but she’s your mother, she raised you.” You carry the damage of an abusive parent your whole life, and if you were fortunate enough to have a half-decent mother, you wouldn’t understand.


+100



X1000. I am a woman and grew up in a divorced household. My dad is lovely. My mother not so much. I have not spoken to her in 20 years. Mental illness is not limited to men. In fact it manifest itself in worse ways with women.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 10:20     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
I loved my mom dearly and am close to my daughters. There are more posts from people with difficult parents because there's nothing to post about if you get along with your mom.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 10:20     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
Anonymous wrote:My mom has a personality disorder—is and always has been a nightmare. It’s actually really hard to bear the societal myth that all moms are loving and nurturing and that they are owed honor and respect for having given birth. Some are neglectful, manipulative and abusive—way beyond just “flawed,” which most of us are. I get tired of people who say things like, “oh, but she’s your mother, she raised you.” You carry the damage of an abusive parent your whole life, and if you were fortunate enough to have a half-decent mother, you wouldn’t understand.


+100

Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 10:18     Subject: Re:Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
In your limited world view, you don’t see men having the same issues? Okay.

A lot of parents have mental illness. They are parents to sons or daughters.

Lots of men don’t talk about feelings and act like jerks and process that way.

I’m not sure the point of your original post unless you are suggesting women complain more about the mental illness in their parents?

Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 10:11     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
I’m not PP, but I grew up in this dynamic as well, born and raised in Kansas to German, Russian-German derived parents.

It’s not exclusively cultural in the sense of certain ethnic groups, but it’s cultural in sort of a peasant sense, regardless of where in the world you grew up, regardless of religion, etc.

Boys are an ‘asset’ and girls are a ‘liability’, in a nutshell.
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 09:11     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
Anonymous wrote:Sadly a lot of mothers prioritize their male partners and male offspring over their female offspring- we all know them in our own lives. It is hard to be the daughter of a woman who has internalized misogyny and mixes messages of love with messages that you are inferior in her eyes.


I don’t know any families with this dynamic.

Could it be cultural?
Anonymous
Post 04/28/2024 09:06     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
DW has a very close and loving relationship with her mother. But the issue is that they are codependent. DW literally cries because she feels like at times that her mom is disappointed in her.

You can have a close relationship with your parent but it’s still unhealthy in some respects.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2024 22:57     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
Anonymous wrote:Women are like crabs in a barrel. They always turn on each other in some way. Either outright, or behind each other's backs. It's why I avoid most women. Men tend to be more fair dealers emotionally. What you see is what you get -- how refreshing. I had a better relationship with my dad, he was so much easier than my mom to navigate. And I say this as a woman.


Your inappropriate stereotyping of women is likely rooted in your relationships with your parents not in any truth about all women. Because that was your reality you are much more likely to notice similar dynamics when you run into them as an adult and then think it must be a universal fact. It's not.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2024 21:26     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
Anonymous wrote:Women are like crabs in a barrel. They always turn on each other in some way. Either outright, or behind each other's backs. It's why I avoid most women. Men tend to be more fair dealers emotionally. What you see is what you get -- how refreshing. I had a better relationship with my dad, he was so much easier than my mom to navigate. And I say this as a woman.

Lol listen I’m exactly the same but if we are both adults in 2024 I think we both need to remember that our mothers were likely doing 100% of the mental load at home as well as the vast majority of household stuff, making sure holidays actually happened, all of the health stuff, emotional stuff, literally doing all of the work keeping the family running and taking care of all the discipline. It’s a hell of a lot easier to like the parent that just goes to work and mows the lawn.
Anonymous
Post 04/27/2024 19:17     Subject: Seems like so many women have issues with their moms...
Anonymous wrote:Sadly a lot of mothers prioritize their male partners and male offspring over their female offspring- we all know them in our own lives. It is hard to be the daughter of a woman who has internalized misogyny and mixes messages of love with messages that you are inferior in her eyes.


+1M